Frump to Fab - Summer Solstice Sizzler

Willow92

He's suffered from depression and stayed in for about 5 years. Now he'll go to town but usually only when he needs to for appointments etc. I've tried getting him out of the house for walks etc. but he thinks going out of the house for no reason is 'pointless' so I'm not sure what to do now....

adelight

willow if he is still having treatment, do they give any advice to get him out the house and do something? can you/his parents talk to his gp? is he into music? lots of blokes seem to like playing guitar and it would give him something to do away from a screen and maybe get him out the house a bit. how did you two meet? can you try that activity again?

Willow92

adelight wrote: »

willow if he is still having treatment, do they give any advice to get him out the house and do something? can you/his parents talk to his gp? is he into music? lots of blokes seem to like playing guitar and it would give him something to do away from a screen and maybe get him out the house a bit. how did you two meet? can you try that activity again?

He's never really had much treatment, just put on antidepressants but he stopped taking them just after we met. He's really into listening to music but certainly not making it. We met on the internet so we can't try anything again.

fedupandskint

Well, craving again today and stuffed down 2 custard slices.

So I will get back on track again tomorrow as I'm doing my own head in thinking about going over the kcal allowance for losing weight. 4 days off track this week. Really want to get back on track and for some reason have lost motivation and mojo.

No exercise today for some unknown reason why I couldn't be bothered to go for a run tonight.

Hope I find my mojo again somewhere....might do some cleaning to find something to do instead of sitting on here all night

Maisie_M

Good day today. Managed to get into the bath to have a shower so managed to defuzz my body which after 4 weeks of neglect took a bit of time:o. Couldn't reach the back of my right leg due to feeling discomfort in my hip when I tried so will have to get OH to help with that. I have been having showers at my parents whilst staying there as they have a super walk in shower but as we are now home I needed to try the shower here. So glad I managed as I hate strip washing lol.

So nails are done, body is defuzzed now need to think about hair repair - badly needs conditioning, colouring and cutting, and my skin regime to sort out. I also need a pedicure but will have to go to a salon for that as I can't bend enough yet to do it myself.

adelight

Willow92 wrote: »

He's never really had much treatment, just put on antidepressants but he stopped taking them just after we met. He's really into listening to music but certainly not making it. We met on the internet so we can't try anything again.

Did he not like taking them or are they no longer needed? I don't want to be intrusive but there are many drug-free ways people "treat" depression or rehabilitate themselves afterwards and if you two are comfortable talking about it you could get some books from the library and do research together.
Drug-free methods have been very effective for my OH, things that seemed impossible like more socialising and simple ones like daily exercise have done a world of good. There will always be bad days but they are few and far between and we know what to do. I know my OH is a poor sod, cancer, depression and the rest and he's not even 25.

maman

On the fabbing front I've been lazy today.

I had my eye appointment and all is well, optician said there's even an improvement so that's great. I go to this particular optician because he can do a glaucoma test with coloured eye drops rather than that puff of air thing. However because of the drops, my eyes turn greeny-yellow for an hour or so:eek: and always smudge my mascara. So I didn't bother making up my eyes and didn't bother for the rest of the day.:o

I did a bit of shopping while I was out including a mooch around the CSs. I now have another velvet skirt. This one is Monsoon in a black and cream pattern with a deep black hem. It's knee length and lined. I also got a cream pashmina (John Lewis own brand). A bit more expensive than my £1 bargains last week but still very cheap for the quality.

We also built on the jasmine I was given yesterday and booked flights to Turkey for 10 days in June. So I'll get to smell it in situ!:) Also planning Brittany for a week (to celebrate SILs big birthday) in April/May. It's good to have somethig to look forward to.

I'm off for my weigh-in tomorrow, hoping to have gained a bit. I was underweight last week and have been eating all sorts but I don't want to get too far from my usual healthy plan. I have enjoyed the cheese and dark chocolate snacks though.;)

Sorry this has been a bit 'me, me, me', just wanted to share my news such as it is.

bratz81

morning all.

LL - you've kinda scared me a little now, I work in IT and put in long hours in front of a PC. I've only been at it for...oooh 10 years now but thinking it could have a neurological effect in later life is scary.

Thanks to everyone else for the kind words, I'm feeling better today. I spoke to h2b to tell him how disappointed I was and he's promised to make it up to me. He's not bad just thoughtless sometimes.

I have two dresses on eBay right now, doing pretty well, so I can make room for a few more bits that fit me once those sell. I try to get rid of clothes I don't wear on eBay so I can put that money towards something new (from ebay or CS) and anything that doesn't sell is washed, ironed and brought into a CS. Means my wardrobe isn't cluttered up and I can get something new.

lessonlearned

bratz81 wrote: »

morning all.

LL - you've kinda scared me a little now, I work in IT and put in long hours in front of a PC. I've only been at it for...oooh 10 years now but thinking it could have a neurological effect in later life is scary.

.

Oh sweetie - I wasn't trying to be alarmist. I'll get back to gaming in a minute but first for IT professionals.

Re the workplace - I think employers are now far more aware of the danger of computer screen time - there have been all sorts of directives designed to protect people.

Secondly computer design is much better now with all sorts of inbuilt radiation filters, better screen design etc. I think that on that score users are much safer now than when OH started out.

When my OH and his generation started out there were precious few protective measures in place and workplaces were arranged for the benefit and function of the equipment and not the people who worked with them.

My OH tells me stories of working in enclosed offices with not so much as a chink of natural daylight - no windows at all. Fresh air was not allowed because it impeded the air conditioning. Air conditioned systems were in place to keep the equipment cool and not to keep the workers comfortable.

My OH's last contract was in a place where the air conditioned units were not serviced properly - there was mould, fungus and gunge coming out of the vents. When he told me this I was horrified and I begged him to speak to someone about this and get it cleaned up. He thought this was unnecessary and that I was being fussy.

The neurologist suggested that my husband's condition was triggered by a virus - which one they will never know because by the time damage that it had caused was discovered it was too late, the virus was long gone.

I have now found out via a friend who works in a local hospice that over 25% of their patients who suffer from Motor Neurone Disease have worked at some point for this particular company - either at it's local site or it's sister site in the next county.

The hospice is a charity and doesn't have sufficient income to fund further research into this phenomena and therefore there is no scientific evidence to support their findings. Obviously I cannot reveal the company's name.

I also know from asking questions that a great many of the people who I've heard about who are now middle-aged and suffering from neurological conditions such as MS, brain tumours and unexplained brain bleeds have also worked for the same company. All of this may be purely circumstantial and there is no proof. As the neurologist explained no-one has done the research. This major international company is not going to fund it or do it either, is it:o

We know that incorrect water temperature causes Legionnaires Desease. It is not impossible that faulty air conditioning caused OH's virus. To this day I remain convinced that this was the trigger. Now of course it could be that OH had a natural predisposition and that he would have become ill anyway, given time. We'll never know.

Now back to screen time. I know for a fact that too much screen time is not good, it causes headaches, eyestrain, can trigger migraines etc. It does make sense to restrict screen time and take breaks. Again my OH, when working to deadlines, would not take proper breaks for lunch and would just work through till the job was done. Employers were complicit in this.

Now I understand that by the very nature of IT work sometimes it is not feasible to take a decent lunch break but I still think moving away from the screen for a few minutes every so often is essential.

I think as far as the workplace today is concerned - provided you take reasonable precautions to have little breaks throughout the day and do not spend 10hours or so each and every day you should be ok.

My real concern is for unrestricted domestic use of electronic media, especially in youngsters with developing brains. I include teenagers in this - not just tots. We already know about the dangers of excessive use of mobile phones and I just think we need to exercise a bit of care.

I also think that games addiction is very common and also very dangerous. It seems to be a male thing with teenagers and young men who are most at risk of addiction.

Going back to some of the posters who have commented on their partners recent behaviour i.e. spending hours at a stretch playing games I would suggest that this is not healthy for them, and that they need to be encouraged to take breaks and engage with something else.

I know I sound old fashioned but I think constant games playing - to the exclusion of all other activities and to the extent that they cannot tear themselves away is a cause for concern. I genuinely believe that not only can it can affect their physical health and well being, but it also has the potential to cause psychological and emotional damage too.

I noticed that when my boys were small if they played for too long they would become aggressive and start arguing and fighting.

Now I realise that with all that testosterone males are supposed to be aggressive and prone to fighting - its part of their genetic make up after all. Whether we like it or not, males are biologically designed and programmed to be hunters. We are not that far evolved from our caveman ancestors. I just think that all that energy and aggression needs to be channelled properly - sport, physical activity etc.

I know that this is going to sound very controversial but I think that our educational system fails boys - they are not allowed to be "males".

I always used to say that children, but boys in particular, are a bit like dogs, they need plenty of good food and to be allowed to run about, climb trees, get into minor scrapes. They need to burn off all that energy or they are uncontrollable. Schools don't seem to be able to grasp this. They expect boys to sit quietly and get on with their work. In their dreams.

Boys/teengagers/young men need competition, sport, and lots of physical activities - not just at school but also at home. Allowing them to sit plonked in front of a TV screen or computer is no substitute.

Phew - sorry didn't mean to write an essay. I just wanted to reassure bratz. I'm sorry if my post yesterday frightened you - just be aware of the dangers and make sure you get the balance right and you should be ok.

For those of you with partners who game excessively again try and encourage them to take some breaks and do something else from time to time. Of course gaming is fun, but it mustn't take over.

Today I'm going to the dentist:eek: I am being very brave. and then try and get out and about - it's mild and sunny here today so will go for a little walk and make the most of it.

Bye for now x

podperson

Morning all,

Willow - I do emphasise, OH has had a lot of issues with mental health over the years (anxiety, social phobia and bouts of depression mainly), I don't think he will ever be completely over them - he's a lot better then he was but sometimes things will set him off and I can see him reverting. We have had stages where he hasn't left the house for weeks and then only when I've basically had to force him for something important and despite years of trying to get him help I've now given up on the NHS ever being any use. I don't have a great deal of help to offer but if he's willing to try going back to the doctors then maybe they might be able to refer him from some kind of treatment rather then just prescribing pills - I know my OH ended up stopping taking them, he hated them and said they made him feel spaced out all the time.
I know this is probably none of my business but I would say that unless he can get some help don't look at rushing into anything more serious with him like moving in. I moved in with OH when I was 18 and while I love him to bits and wouldn't be without him it's been hard work being the main breadwinner for our household for the last 11 years, mainly due to his issues, and I've had to give up plans that I had and things I would have loved to do.

Maman - loving the charity shop finds, haven't found anything good in mine in months may have to go to another area for a mooch at weekend. Your holidays sound great

LL - I do think there are has been a lack of research into the effects of excessive screen time. I know I do worry about OH a little sometimes, if he's been editing he can have easily spent 10 hours in front of the screen doing that and then to 'relax' he'll play a game for a few more hours. If I'm playing with him then we tend to do more interactive ones like Rock Band, where you are at least moving round a bit, so maybe a little better - and then we tend to get distratced between songs and be chatting for half an hour so that's kind of a break :rotfl:
It's strange about the 'boys being boys' theory, I think it is true in that certain boys will be laddish no matter what. I know one of my cousins had quite strict ideas about how she wanted to raise her son - she hates violence etc and was set on how he wasn't allowed toy guns or any kind of 'violent' toy. By the time he was 4 he was running round the house with an empty loo roll pretending it was a gun and with sound effects included :rotfl:Mind you, on the other hand one of my friends likes to think he's very much a 'guy's guy' and bought his son all those kind of things - and the kid would rather be playing with his sister's dolls.
Good luck at the dentist, you are being very brave, I haven't been to one in years - I hate them

Anyways, didn't get an apology from OH but I think he did feel bad as he was being really nice to me and offering to do other stuff. The guy apparently wasn't going out so came round about 7 and was gone for 10.30 so not as bad as I was thinking Was rather naughty last night and bought myself some gig tickets off Ebay - am going to have to watch the cash the next few weeks now but I was thinking about getting last week when they went on sale and was a bit gutted when they sold out so managed to get some for not much more then face value. Not until April but gives me something to look forward to (though is shaping to be a very busy month, Easter, our concert, this concert and then might have a friend coming up to stay at the end of the month for the fire festival). Am meant to be going to film group tonight - should really go as have missed the last few but would need to dash home, watch the film and then go straight there - will see how I feel later I think.