Why don't you have Children yet?

Person_one

I'm 27 and I get it a lot. I have a young niece and nephew and people find it hard to believe that I can love them dearly, and enjoy spending time with them yet still not want my own.

It looks flippin' exhausting, and its far too easy to mess it up.

Person_one

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

I wouldn't say there was anything wrong in asking "would you like children?" to a newly married couple. But I certainly wouldn't pry any further than that. It'd be fairly obvious to me that someone who's been married for 5+ years either doesn't want/can't have children, so I wouldn't ask in these circumstances.

Why do you need to ask? If they intend to have children and are able to you'll find out when she announces her pregnancy or you get a christening invite!

Nara

I have one child, I have heard my Aunt whisper behind my
back how strange it is that I only have one child

Why is that strange?

I'm being realistic, she can go !!!! herself!

Sharon87

People always find it strange I don't want kids, most of my school friends have kids - someone I know a year younger than me (she's 23) has 3 kids!!

Childbirth and pregnancy use to bother me a lot more than now, as I've worked on One Born Every Minute and know everything to do with labour and giving birth. I just don't want the burden of having kids, I'd like to sort my career out. Maybe when I'm 40 I may want them, but I can't ever see myself with kids, can't even see myself getting married yet either!

babymoo

Majority of people who know me know me well enough to know I can't actually have children. If they don't know me then I just say that I am not ready for them and enjoy my niece, this stops all the pitying comments and the "but there's always adoption" comments. - The last 12 months have taught me that for now at least I am far too selfish to have children so it's currently a blessing.

Jinx

Im 38 with a 19 year old. I got married for the 2nd time a couple of years ago. I got asked lots after the wedding if I was going to have children - my response......... not unless the surgeon screwed up my op!!

kitschkitty

LisaB85 wrote: »

That is how I feel, the whole process of being pregnant and giving birth turns my stomach.

I still remember a dream where I was giving birth, it was extremely vivid and I woke terrified.

Add to the fact even holding a baby makes me cringe, my mum used to force me to hold them but now she doesn't bother because it must be embarrassing for her when I point blank refuse.

I will admit right now I've never held a baby - Not even my nephew! Oh and I've never changed a nappy. I've looked after babies for short periods of time, but don't recall ever having picked one up or held one. I have worked with and looked after kids aged 3+ though.

kitschkitty

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

I wouldn't say there was anything wrong in asking "would you like children?" to a newly married couple. But I certainly wouldn't pry any further than that. It'd be fairly obvious to me that someone who's been married for 5+ years either doesn't want/can't have children, so I wouldn't ask in these circumstances.

See this highlights a couple of other points that can be annoying/frustrating.

I've been with my Hubby 10 years, just got married this year. If any of my friends or relatives don't know that I don't want kids, why should they assume that I don't want/can't have kids, or alternatively, because I've just got married why should they ask me if we're thinking of having any now/at this point in our life???

It's funny how people who are childless often feel they are never in the right when being asked about kids, too young, too old, not young enough, not old enough, not been in a relationship long enough, been in a relationship for so long, not married, not got a good enough income, too career focused...

ninnoodle

I tell them the truth - that I can't. Nothing to be ashamed of but usually shames them into silence

missbishi

I'm 35 and resolutely nulliparous. I tell nosey parkers that I think the country is overpopulated as it is and to bring more people into the world is plain selfish! That usually shuts 'em up!