Advice on rejecting men....

Mojisola

supermassive wrote: »

"All men are pigs, all men are immune to sex-based attacks, men are the people that need to change" can't you understand how utterly ridiculous you sound? Ill informed, narrow minded, uneducated bigots should not claim to know what they clearly do not.

I hated this attitude that some feminists had back in the 60s. I was shocked when I heard one new mother being commiserated with because her baby was a boy who was going to grow up repressing womankind!

There are far more good men in the world than there are bad ones - and the same applies to women.

zaffi

fierystormcloud wrote: »

You know absolutely NOTHING about women or what they have to put up with week after week. FACT.

So by your own logic, you have no idea what men, especially young men, have to put up with and therefore couldn't possibly compare the two

Young men are the single biggest demographic when it comes to being victims of violent crime and that is a FACT.

My biggest fear in the world isn't ISIS or any other form of global terror or the north koreans or another financial crisis. My biggest fear is bumping into the wrong person in a pub and getting stabbed for it. That's probably not high on your list.

A few weeks ago I got caught up in a bar fight, despite trying to split it up I saw a guy come out of my peripheral vision and throw a punch at me it was a good one but I didn't go down and the situation calmed down. If i had gone down pack mentality would have set in and i'd of been getting punches and more worryingly kicks aimed at me from multiple people. That wouldn't have been good. That's probably not high on your list.

quidsy

The op is about abuses to a young woman. Start a new topic about the abuses men deal with if you want but dont hijack this valid and relevant issue woman live with daily.

Peter333

quidsy wrote: »

Londoner born & a female to boot. Older now so less likely to get unwanted attention but still occasionally attract a nutter.

On transport, sit near the driver, get up & physically move if the ignore/snarl doesn't work, make a very loud & clear, "don't touch me" if they do & always, always walk as if you will swing for someone if they start on you. I was a very pretty, attractive & well figured young woman growing up in the city, I also travelled alone the whole world & these tips have held me in good stead.

A lot of women especially young ones, laugh or giggle in nerves or smile to appease & this unfortunately is a come on for the dense men out there, so get her to train herself not to smile, laugh in nerves or even make eye contact with the harassers. I wish her well.

fierystormcloud wrote: »

As I said, for men (some men, as they are not all they same,) to change their attitudes and their behaviour. THIS is the answer.

Women should not be afraid to run or walk in certain places, (and it's not always after dark when women get attacked by the way,) and they should be entitled to dress how they want, and wherever they want, without men attacking them, jeering, trying to belittle them, or claiming they're 'asking for it,' if they wear a short skirt.

MEN get to walk around after dark without worrying about being sexually assaulted or raped, MEN get to walk around in shorts (showing their legs,) without the fear of being hounded and called slutty, or being accused of 'asking for it,' , MEN get to travel on public transport and walk around the streets, without fear of being hounded and hit on every 5 minutes. Women should have the right to the same treatment, and the same respect.

Remember that film footage of the attractive brunette in New York (I think it was New York.) She was simply walking for around for about 8 hours, and she got hit on by dozens of men.

Some men do not like to be rejected and some men do not like it when a woman will not speak to him or even look at him, because they see it as a slur on their masculinity and their prowess. They think it's their 'right' to hit on women, and that the women should be grateful for the attention. Generally if women ARE hostile, it's because you are the 500th man to hit on her, and assume she is going to fancy you and want to date you.

So, I reiterate, it is the attitude of some MEN that needs to change.

And I know that not all men are like this, and that's why I say 'some.'

quidsy wrote: »

The op is about abuses to a young woman. Start a new topic about the abuses men deal with if you want but dont hijack this valid and relevant issue woman live with daily.

:T at these three. In particular the bits I have bolded.

There are also many other very good posts here.

As has been stated by some posters, it's not all men that are creepy groping letches, but there are plenty out there. My wife and my daughter (esp my daughter) are always coming out with horror tales of how some days, they cannot walk down the street without being whistled at and yelled at. My daughter says she finds it intimidating and vile.

And yes, it is something they deal with constantly. My wife said that between her early teens and late 20s, a day rarely went by without some man or other assuming she fancied them, and sometimes they would get aggressive when she told them 'no.' She was in a profession where many men assumed every woman wanted to sleep with them.

I agree with one of the posters above who said stop derailing the thread, this is not about men, it's about women and the issues they face. Also, certain posters need to stop being so nasty to people they don't agree with!

nicholaswitchell

This thread was reopened, rather unnecessarily in my opinion, after being dormant for three years.

It should have stayed that way.

misspickle_2

Mojisola wrote: »

I went on a women's safety course years ago run by the police.

They showed a series of short videos - a young woman hunched over, nervously looking round; another with her head held high, striding along; another with earphones in, looking totally absorbed in the music; another obviously drunk, staggering around; others in a small group; and so on.

They got us to list which ones we would choose if we were planning to attack or rob them - it was obvious which ones were going to be the easy targets.

They'd set up the scenarios after having discussions with offenders about how they chose their victims.

Mojisola do the police still run these courses? And are they available for fifteen year olds? I think my daughter would really benefit from something like this. She is leaving home next year at 16 yrs of age. She will be on a residential apprenticeship til the age of 19 in a very male dominated career.
She is a stunning looking girl and already gets a ridiculous amount of attention off men when we are out and about. Even when I'm with her! Its scary stuff.
She is a sensible girl who is very aware and cautious. I try to teach her as much as I can to keep her safe and we have a very close happy relationship. She confides in me about all sorts. I think she would welcome a course of this nature and it would make her feel more confident to deal with situations as they arise.
I'd be grateful for any info.
Thanks.

quidsy

I'd find the nearest krav maga class & send her to that. Israeli self defense, they teach women how to react & defend themselves in shock attacks. I'd like it to be compulsory for all girls in school.

misspickle_2

quidsy wrote: »

I'd find the nearest krav maga class & send her to that. Israeli self defense, they teach women how to react & defend themselves in shock attacks. I'd like it to be compulsory for all girls in school.

Thanks quidsy. I will look it up. It sounds pretty lethal

We both used to do karate but that was years ago and we've forgotten most of it

I walk the dog in the park every night in the dark. I always thought I was quite a toughie and that I'd react confidently in a situation but the other night an innocent male jogger ran up behind me and took me by surprise.
I screamed like a girl :eek:
I was so embarrassed afterwards he apologised for scaring me bless him. He looked very alarmed when I screamed. I felt such an idiot. Poor man.
I still go over there at night though. I will be glad when the nights get lighter. The clocks change soon :T

quidsy

Ah well, soundslike Krav would suit you both. My son is 7 & does Muay Thai but if I had a daughter she would be doing Krav I would want her to be able to take an attacker down where as I want my son to be able to diffuse or deflect an attack.

Mojisola

misspickle wrote: »

Mojisola do the police still run these courses? And are they available for fifteen year olds?

I think she would welcome a course of this nature and it would make her feel more confident to deal with situations as they arise.

The course I did was years ago but check with your local police and the schools.

I think discussions about personal safety and attitudes to other people, etc, should be part of the school curriculum.

Any good self-defence class should help because of the confidence it results in. If you feel confident, you look confident and are less likely to targeted.