Dilema - donation to make ex pregnant

FBaby

I met my partner when I was 38 and he was 41, that was after being both single for over 5 years. We fell in love quickly, knew we wanted to be together forever and talked about babies. I fell pregnant first month trying, unfortunately, miscarried and it's more disappointment ever since to the point that we have agreed, 3 years later to give it up, focus on ourselves and enjoy my older children. We are very happy. The bottom line is that you are still young, with many opportunities, and your desire to have another baby should be put on hold until you meet someone you love who wont be manipulating you to get her own way. Your ex is 36, surely she had time to build some kind of work experience before having a child that means she could go back to work.... except that she probably gets on with life on benefits, considering she will get full benefits + a nice maintenance income. She knows that she only has a few years before your boy starts school and she will have no choice but to look for a job, not many years left to have a child, so this is a very well calculated plan to get her own way at the expense of you and the tax payers. Tell her to get lost please....

RichGold

Christ on a bike.

I've never ever read such a stupid idea in my whole life.

Your ex sounds like a real idiot. Career benefits mothers make me sick to my stomach.

Peater

FBaby wrote: »

You can fall in love quickly with the RIGHT one, and decide to have a child together before you know it.

3 Months precisely, judging by his last effort. Jeesh.

Hagar_uk

Peater wrote: »

3 Months precisely, judging by his last effort. Jeesh.

It was a bit of a whirlwind ... she was an old friend from years back, we had one proper date (we had talked a lot on phone before and emails, and that was it it) I did not see my house again properly for nearly 18 months!
we had talked about kids before the act happening, and were both on the understanding it was never likely to happen due to medical conditions..but fate played its hand, which I will not regret...

neverdespairgirl

Hagar_uk wrote: »

We are both 36 years old, getting a donor apparently is pretty easy, in that scene, as gay guys dont seem to mind, or what she did in the past when she tried 10 years ago was ask her friends husband, who more than willing to help..it seems like a different world to me

36?! I thought you were about to say you were both in your 40s, with all that "last chance saloon" stuff.

pearl123

Hagar_uk wrote: »

We are both 36 years old, getting a donor apparently is pretty easy, in that scene, as gay guys dont seem to mind, or what she did in the past when she tried 10 years ago was ask her friends husband, who more than willing to help..it seems like a different world to meQUOTE]

The more I read the more convinced I get that your ex only wanted you in the first place was for a baby! OP you need to take your blinkers off. She possibly conned you all the way into thinking you had something real - a loving relationship - when all she wanted was a donor. (I am woman, I think she's taken you for a fool.) And a large number on here think that you'd be a fool to consider being a donor to a second baby.

OP- To be honest I surprised by your age. You sound so naive that I thought you'd be in your teens or early twenties.

claire16c

Hagar_uk wrote: »

We are both 36 years old, getting a donor apparently is pretty easy, in that scene, as gay guys dont seem to mind, or what she did in the past when she tried 10 years ago was ask her friends husband, who more than willing to help..it seems like a different world to me

I would like to have a relationship, with someone more middle of the road and have a family again,

She started doing this at 26?? She sounds like a nut job then. She clearly saw you coming if she was pregnant in 3 months. Was she even using any kind of contraception or were you?

And by the way getting pregnant from a donor isnt necessarily that easy. Once youve found one, you could potentially spend months or years trying to fall pregnant especially at the age of 36. It seems like you are grasping at straws incase she has another child with someone else first - like some kind of weird race.

And if you would like to have a family with someone else, youd be better off not doing this because i dont think its going to sound very attractive to any future woman that you were a sperm donor to your crazy ex! Id run for the hills if a guy told me that.

j.e.j.

I've not read the whole thread, but it sounds like this woman's determined to have another baby, and if Hagar_uk won't do the deed then she'll just look for a(nother) donor. Personally I don't agree with the way she's behaving and the whole scenario sounds a bit unhealthy. I'm all for 'free thinking' but this might be a bit too free thinking.. :eek:

OP I think we can't make the decision for you. You understandably have issues with her having her female lover(s) and have called it quits as far as having a relationship with her is concerned but you're still friends..? Its about how YOU would feel, and also bear in mind the financial implication of having another child with her.

Hagar_uk

I am glad for everyone advice on this, it is has set my mind at rest, I have not called it quits, I still hope something could happen, and it has nearly happened, I just have tendancy too put my foot in my mouth in anger which has not helped, when we broke up we were very friendly, then it went to hatred, now has improved a bit.....she is happy at the moment being in control of her life and our sons and having everything on her terms.

j.e.j. wrote: »

I've not read the whole thread, but it sounds like this woman's determined to have another baby, and if Hagar_uk won't do the deed then she'll just look for a(nother) donor. Personally I don't agree with the way she's behaving and the whole scenario sounds a bit unhealthy. I'm all for 'free thinking' but this might be a bit too free thinking.. :eek:

OP I think we can't make the decision for you. You understandably have issues with her having her female lover(s) and have called it quits as far as having a relationship with her is concerned but you're still friends..? Its about how YOU would feel, and also bear in mind the financial implication of having another child with her.

Hagar_uk

claire16c wrote: »

ce.

And if you would like to have a family with someone else, youd be better off not doing this because i dont think its going to sound very attractive to any future woman that you were a sperm donor to your crazy ex! Id run for the hills if a guy told me that.

Lol....when we first talked about she asked if i would still want to try if i met someone else..we had been talking about doing it the old traditional way as well.. is it just me who thinks being faithful is kind of part of the deal of relationship