Dilema - donation to make ex pregnant

Carl31

Peater wrote: »

I just happen to think it is best to bring up a child with 2 loving parents at home. I am sorry that your parents separated and you didn't have that, but why does that make me so wrong?

Your definition is very poor

I see what youre trying to say, but you dont come across right. I dont live with my son, but i go out of my way for him always. More so than my dad, and he was a good dad too.

What about parents that dump there kids at the nursery all day while they work? Is that good? I happen to disagree with that approach. I think a child needs at least one parent at home when it grows up

Peater

Hagar_uk wrote: »

None at all, I only found out my chance that she was thinking of trying again next year, she had already gave up on the idea, as I said I would only have a child with her if we were back together, but she said in passing her preference would still be for me to be the father

Good.

Still think you'd be crackers to go through with it.

Peater

Carl31 wrote: »

Your definition is very poor

I see what youre trying to say, but you dont come across right. I dont live with my son, but i go out of my way for him always. More so than my dad, and he was a good dad too.

What about parents that dump there kids at the nursery all day while they work? Is that good? I happen to disagree with that approach. I think a child needs at least one parent at home when it grows up

Yep, i agree with all of that and can see how i came across a bit skewiff.

Hagar_uk

jojo_2012 wrote: »

so your ex and her new partner sat down and looked at the options for having another child.

1. pay a donor, have a baby but fund it "themselves" if you can call the dole that.

2. don't pay you, have you fund it (at least somewhat). Also have a free weekend babysitter.

I think as lovely as it is for children to have a small gap in age, if you do this you will have MUG written all over your face, it will also be confusing to explain to your child. Book your slot on Jeremy Kyle now.

Apparently the new partner is not involved as such, my ex wants the child as hers...her new/old partner is very attached to my son, to the point where even my ex was getting slightly concerned. I have my son on the weekends, and she just feels she is losing control of them, because I have them for so much of the time (all of 8% of the week!)

yes its a train wreck..in fact her whole family are very alternative.....she has a sister who mother is actually now her father, even weirder stuff, it is no surprise, my ex has turned out this way, as her own mother pretty much did the same thing

Hotspur

Hagar_UK

It's absolute madness for YOU to do this outside of a loving relationship IMHO.

Hypothetically speaking, you could end up being financially and emotionally responsible for any child/children that result should the mother decide to say you had a night together rather than you being a sperm donor in the clinical sense.

I am sure that there will be a good legal reason why sperm donors are usually anonymous. Does anyone know?

If after reading all the advice on here you still want to go ahead then ensure that you do this formally and legally knowing all the pitfalls that will await you in the future. It may make a huge difference to your future, both emotionally and financially.

sashadesade

It sounds like she used you to get pregnant the first time (less than 20 month relationship/16 month old baby?) and now she wants to do it again. You've made numerous posts that make it clear you have big problems with the existing situation regarding your relationship with your son, surely having another kid with her is only going to bring you more heartache? The fact you're still in love with her and hate her partner only compounds the fact that this is a car crash waiting to happen.

pearl123

Hagar_uk wrote: »

yes its a train wreck..in fact her whole family are very alternative.....

He's stated that its a trainwreck and yet look at what he's considering !
OP -having a child in a loving relationship is the way to go!

Cara79

How can you have been together 20 months yet have a 16 month old child with her? That would be the shortest pregnancy in history!!

Either way, I think u'd be crazy to even consider this!

gonzo127

Cara79 wrote: »

How can you have been together 20 months yet have a 16 month old child with her? That would be the shortest pregnancy in history!!

Either way, I think u'd be crazy to even consider this!

I am guessing his math's is out on the length of the relationship, although she might have been pregnant before they officially got together, one night stand with him initially maybe,

Darlyd

The OP quite clearly states , been split up for 7 mnths, have a 16mnth old, we were together for 20 mnts = 27mnths ago they concieved ? Am sure I am right...