Dilema - donation to make ex pregnant

Peater

Yikes. Step away from the train wreck!

RUN!

Hagar_uk

JC9297 wrote: »

It is more than a tad wierd! There is no way you should agree to be a donor, it seems as you were pretty much that for the first one in all honesty, as she must have got pregnant pretty soon after you met. If you want to be a father again wait until you are in a relationship with someone who wants you to play a full part in her and the child's life, rather than someone who just wants you for your sperm and presumably maintenance.

It is very weird setup as you say, as the for the first one, I had known her for years before we got together and knew she had been told it was unlucky she would ever get pregnant, even before we got together so our son being born was special.

If was to donor, she would be happy for me to have access and be a father, just not a day to day basis like a real father.

It is doing my head in, to make it even weirder, my ex is in a on/off relationship with another women, who I detest as she was one reason why me and ex split up..

Hagar_uk

londonsurrey wrote: »

Have it because you want it.
Could you only love a child that has your genetic makeup? Would you find it difficult, even for the sake of your son, to try to love its new sibling that was not genetically linked to you?

Nope I could love another child, and if I met another women with a child I am sure I could love them as well, but in this case, if she had a child from a donor, I would have nothing to do with it, my ex would not want me to have any part of their life. She would however tolorate me in my own childs life!

Person_one

This is a wind up, right?

Late on a weekend night, and I see what you did with your user name there...

Hagar_uk

thorsoak wrote: »

This is oh so wrong, in my book! Your ex "wants" another baby - can she afford to bring up another child, would you be paying maintenance - or would she want to stay home until the child is 5 and let the Welfare State support her and the child/children?

If on the other hand she has a career and proposes to continue working - how will the childcare pan out? More time for the baby in childcare than with parents??? So who actually brings up the child?

If this is 21st Century family life - then I'm glad I'm out of it.

She wants to be a full time mum I think, hence the second child, she is even talking about home schooling for the first year she is currently on benefits, living in rented house, she of course get money from me for current child, if I had enother child with her, I would pay more, but it does not sit right with me

Hagar_uk

mountainofdebt wrote: »

Please tell me this is a wind up

If not this is just another reason why the benefit system should be changed.

It is not...like I said I think she is mad and her needs to be a mum are selfish..but I have a chance to be a father again, which may never happen, is it better that is mine than a child grows up with no dad at all

Hagar_uk

Money_maker wrote: »

You never did update on your last thread as to whether your ex let you take your son away with you. With all due respect, I suggest that considering your relationship and your financial situation you keep it in your pants. Heaven help any further children she has.

My ex did would allow it legally, but emotionally and practically made it impossible, so for my sons sake, went on my own.

She is a good mum, can't deny that, but that is not a valid reason to have more child in its self IMHO, but if she is going to have one...it would be best for my son I think if it was mine as well...maybe?!

Peater

Hagar_uk wrote: »

but I have a chance to be a father again

You don't.

Call me old fashioned, but a father is there when a child wakes up and there when it goes to sleep.

Hagar_uk

Emmzi wrote: »

are you and your ex good warm friends who will always be close buit just can't share the same house?

or

is she a bit of a nutter?

We have been up and down....the split was not what i wanted, but she blamed me for working too much and being away abroad to much for the split, Things started off friendly, then got nasty as I was getting jealous as her friend/lover who had help split her up was seeing much more of my son than me, nut things have got friendlier again.

There has been talks of us trying again in the future, but her friend (another ex) is just in the way

gonzo127

i can understand why you are trying to justify it and how you are trying to justify it, but i think this is wrong, it will not affect your child, i have 2 step children and one of my own, they do not seem to have a problem with not sharing the same biological dad, and the little one doesnt have any problems with the other 2 going off to see their dad and her having to 'stay at home'. children are remarkably adaptable and will not have any problems with a situation, unless the adults in their life show them its a problem

as to some of the other comments you have made, her 'tolerating' you having a relationship with your child just put things into prospective for me, and to be honest i would not be surprised if, once she has got what she wants from you, that she starts being a pain when it comes to access.