DFW with no name (and 101 probs)

Erme

Morning all...

Weather is changing so am feeling quite sluggish and tired...as normal. It always happens this way in the winter. Not so much the dark nights but the dark, low air pressure days. We've also had a lot of that in the summer which doesn't help though it's been quite humid but I just want to sleep today ...I know I shouldn't as I'll be up half the night but still.

So it's about maintenance and routines today. It's about keeping busy and like trying to be nice to myself. I want to go out and see people but like I don't know. I might phone volunteering and see if I can go in for an hour or two but I'm so anxious and catastrophising that it's hard ...even to meet folk.

I was so hyper and happy last week. Just proves how much things can change and so quickly. I've ordered some lecithin so hoping that helps as I feel serious pants right now

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miggy

Getting out and about is often good - but not if it overloads you. Could you just go along to volunteering on spec?

It's grey and chilly here too. Bring back the sunshine!

Erme

Yeah I can go to volunteering on spec Miggy

I'm so tired and trying to reestablish routines

And I felt really depressed tonight with the tiredness though it could be the lecithin I'm now taking. The health food guy wants me to up the dose by 18x. I don't think so. I'm not sleeping either so life is a bit weird.

Just soooooo tired. Am off my high well and truly and now I have the stress of DS not giving me her snail address for like 20 years and her birthday on the 24th ...so at this rate she's not getting a card or a present as it's just too humiliating

I don't know why but I'm thinking about a move again. Maybe somewhere near the river and the beach? I don't know. Want a 2 bed or like a ground floor flat. Not least now the house is tidy :j It means I can have viewings. Do I sound crazy? I love this place but I have itchy feet. Do I sound strange? Also if I get by the beach and the uni I can like register with a good GP practice that's easy to get to. It's not far away. Just where I jog. Maybe about a mile from where I live currently? I don't know. I reckon being closer to the beach and also near the river would be good :j though I do like being central

Anyhow I had a crisis today. Flat, no support shoes are just no good for me. So I went shoe shopping and I found a pair of FLY wedges for £24 :j reduced from £80

Whoop whoop whoop

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miggy

The shoes were a bargain so it would have been a mistake not to get them.

I think that present will have to go c/o DM. Or can you send an Amazon voucher by email or something? Some people don't make life easy.

I don't know about the move... I can see there might be some advantages but then again you have a place you like already. Is it just a yen for something new?

Are you getting enough exercise? If it's as windy in your area as it's been in ours I don't think you can be cycling much. Just that sometimes exercise helps with sleep. I hope it rights itself soon anyway. It's miserable to be tired all the time.

Oh dear, I seem to be full of questions tonight. Sorry about that.

Hope you sleep better tonight.

xx

Erme

Miggy dearest. I spoke to DS last night and she was awful...really rude and black and white (and considering the last call whereby she wasn't fab) I am in no mind to send her a birthday present. But give me a few night's good sleep and I might change my mind...

Anyhow a late night the other night really mucked up my sleep pattern so trying to stay awake on 7 hours broken sleep today. Am waiting to hear about a job - just cleaning - 30 hours a week, 6 days a week (some Sabbaths ) but still. DM wasn't fab when I missed a few days fly lady and gave me a hard time. She would say she was only teasing but when my whole life as far as they're concerned is just an extension of them it's hard. It's hard when when I quit anything or change my mind about anything they take offence. I know she thinks I'm lazy but like I try so hard and do my best. It will never be good enough for those two though and that's just the way it is.

So I've been on the tax credits website and after paying rent etc I should be about £50 a week better off . Yay.. So pray I hear anytime from Monday tea time about this job. I think I shall try it for a week before I tell DWP as like whilst I'm no benefit cheat I don't exactly want to do it for a day then get the sack and muck up my benefits IFYSWIM.

But yeah will be good to be working. I just have to pray I have the energy to do OU after it all. It's 11-4 every day bar one day off and like about a 20 minute walk from home. So should be fine. Or else I can cycle. I can put my music on and chill. Should be fine.

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Erme

I didn't go for the cleaning job as like my chronic knee strain decided to remind myself of it's existence on Saturday and I was so tired after volunteering it was unreal.

Also what with buying plane tickets etc last week I've well and truly overspent so I have about £2 or something daft to last me till pay day :eek:

So on with the crochet and things that are cheap. I need to get buttons today for it so like I'm off to the charity shop in a bit to see if I can find 5 buttons for it (hoping there's a dress or something I can nab for about 50p or something?)

So yeah knee is very sore and apparently, according to the GP it's chronic knee strain so it 'aint going to get better unless I have major physio. I figure just live with it as much as I can but it's been so painful this week it's unreal.

Also I had a bad food day on Wednesday where I had less than 1000 cals and felt so spaced out it was unreal :eek:...not good. Enough of the diet - she says still weighing herself min once a day LOL.

So yeah family is family. I've broken contact with the Narcissist who was doing my head in. He phoned on Wednesday and left the most annoying message and like he never texts and always disturbs me when he phones. He says he's short of money and won't go for a cleaning job yet he can't even touch type. He came over last Saturday to 'check email' and like spent 5 mins oogling the cleaning in the flat :mad:....then didn't make any eye contact when I spoke to him so I'm quits.

Anyhow best check budget and like go from there

Blessings

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miggy

A shame about the job but ISWYM, no good if your knee's going to suffer, and undoubtedly it will given the nature of cleaning.

Sorry to hear the budget's running low - I hope you find some nice buttons for 50p! Remember when charity shops used to rescue buttons to sell? Those were the days!

P.S. What sort of buttons and how many? Just in case I have some that would suit.

Erme

I remember them Miggy

Yeah I got some buttons for £1 so I just have the horrid task of putting them on now :eek:

The rest of the cardi is finished

Anyhow it's been a dodgy week what with family (more stress cos I didn't send DS a present for her bop day) x 2 (once last weekend) and then overspending...

Why is it I treat the Overdraft with such flippancy just cos it's interest free :mad: knowing I'll pay it back in 2 weeks. One week skint. One week blow money is how it seems to be going

Anyhow filled out my OU student association card stuff the other day and thought 'not going to pay £5 min for passport photos :eek'..fortunately I found an app on my mac for 69p that I hope and pray has done the job. Argh probs with modern technology is how fast it's changing otherwise I love my macbook....

And I made bread the other night in the kenwood chef with the recipe from the kenwood book. Best bread made in the KC to date

So I'm getting tired in the evenings and not upto much flylady stuff then (not even keeping my sink shiny) so trying to pack it all into the am. Eek. I even have a timer now for computer time LOL

Hope everyone is well


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Erme

Morning all. Can't believe it's the beginning of the month since I updated my diary :eek

Anyhow I've had a stomach bug and like now have a sinusitis fluey type bug . Pants again.

So much for OU - not a lot is getting done with all these bugs and have even unsubscribed from flylady emails cos there's about 6 a day and all they seem to do is sell you stuff

Please don't mention the overdraft. It's a curse word. I tried to get it increased the other day but I failed. I hope it hasn't screwed up my credit rating too much as like I worry about these sort of things. I didn't need the OD increased in the end as the giro came through when I needed the monies but still.

Family is a little better now I'm having less contact and trying not to respond to bad texts (yet to succeed ) but still. It's really not good when they have no insight and it can be quite draining.

Don't mention lazy bones - MM - he won't text and he point blank refuses to adapt. It's not so much his fault as the professionals who say he can't work when he jolly well can :mad:. Makes my blood boil when he has so much better concentration than I do :mad: If I had the concentration I would work. I would love to work. I am just not well enough. When my concentration goes it hurts. Physically I'm in a lot of pain and there's only so much they can do about that.

Anyhow off to drop in soon. Got another e-cig last week from garry dibley (fab mod maker and cheap) so well pleased but now waiting on new top bits to replace my 101 cartridges that are a nightmare to fill. Am hoping about £40-50, maybe less will cover me in top bits till about february. That's cheaper than paying £100 for cartridges from china. And also a lot cheaper than roll ups

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Erme

I went away last weekend and like now am head sick so can't write much. Baby steps again. Will be okay. For those who have facebook (miggy does) then catch me on there. otherwise see you when I return to Earth

Erme