Time to Take Control

wannabee_in_credit

Managed to get a bit of a chat with my hubby last night after I got the kids to bed. He's pretty much agreed with you lot, that my mother's private life isn't really any of my business and I should try and keep it to myself, no matter how upsetting I find it.
I spoke to my sister about the other stuff and she's going to go to my mother's nurse appointment with her on Wednesday and make sure that it's mentioned there.
I feel a little better about it... I just find it strange that someone I always looked up to, respected, and who has pretty much taught me my moral values has now let me down in this way. Sad really.
Still, I was already chewed up about going back to work tomorrow anyway - think that is also playing on my mind. I blimming wish Ofsted would come in and get it over and done with - maybe then I might start enjoying work a little more.

OrangeFairy

Hi Wannabee

I understand where you are coming from. I am very close to my mum and if anything was worrying me about her health I would be terrified. I am very glad your sister is going to the docs with your mum so she can ask the right questions.

It is hard when someone you has looked up to disappoints you in a way. Some of my Mums parenting choices have shocked me later on in life.

I found out a few years ago that she got back with my dad coz she purely wanted about child but want it to have the same dad as me and my brother....she then got rid of him when she was pregnant

Difficult to understand her reasons knowing I'd never do something like that!

LadyBones

Sorry to hear about your dilemma Wannabe, my mum has properly shocked me since my father died too, it's a tough one. My advice is to give it a bit of thought and then put it aside, it's another one of those things that can't be controlled.

Do you have Ofsted looming? That's an added stress you could do without!

Take care x

Igamogam

Good luck with the OFSTED - wish we had OFSTED as I would much rather a few days notice rather the almost 12 months we get here.


Hope all is well with the diabetic nurse appointment

wannabee_in_credit

Sneaking the last 10 mins of my ppa to write a reply to you lovely people on here - thanks for getting in touch.
We've been on Ofsted alert since about May. We are in the unfortunate position of having been a satisfactory school for the past 2 inspections, which means if we get it again we get into the dreaded notice to improve.
It'll be 3 years in Feb since we were last done, but the Head has been prepping and nagging for months now. And our Head is the type that uses the stick rather than the carrot. I'm not sure how much longer my sanity can stand it. It seems to be that our department are the focus for something but we keep getting our books called for work scrutiny, and there have been a couple of members of staff put onto action plans etc. I know I'm far from perfect but the honest truth is that I genuinely don't know how much more I have left to give. I leave the house every day at half seven, rarely get home before 6, and don't muck about with my spare time at work.
I have 2 kids, and an unwell husband that will always be my top priority. I wonder if I'm getting to the point where I'll die if I get beaten with the stick again (all metaphorically of course).
Much as I like my job it's work to live, not the other way round (and I just went through threshold so I can't be all bad can I?).

OrangeFairy

Hugs Wannabee.

I really hope the ofsted report is good and your headmaster loosens up a bit. Can't be nice at the moment!:(

wannabee_in_credit

Well I'm coming on here for a bit of a vent so I apologise in advance.
The work scrutiny I mentioned in an earlier post didn't go well, but rather than offer any individual feedback the Head has decided to put the entire department on review. That sounds pretty much like an action plan to me really - but for the whole department rather than the individuals that need it. That really peeves me off because I wish that we could get some individual feedback about what we need to be doing rather than all of us being tarred with the same brush.
As of Monday they want all planning and marking (unlucky as I rarely write a formal lesson plan any more and don't have any at all from previous weeks to give), and we have the Head coming to meet with us all to tell us what's going on. I think that there is some ulterior motive but unfortunately we're not being told that.
So things have gotten all rather unpleasant really - I was already working at full pelt but now I'm being asked to do more. Not for the good of the kids but for ticking boxes for those higher up the chain than me.
I just wish Ofsted would come in and get it over and done with. It feels really unfair to be under such a close watch. I want to get union involved but head of department has said no as we shouldn't be rocking the boat. Talk about a dictatorship.
Not really much I can do other than shut up and get on with things really - I feel quite sad that this has happened as I used to enjoy my job. It was all about the kids but now feels like it's all about doing what those in charge want at all costs. I am looking about for other jobs but unfortunately things are dire out there at the moment.
I've worked until 6pm every night this week, plus 2 hours last night and 4 today. I really don't know how much more I have to give.
:mad:

wannabee_in_credit

Ugh, I feel absolutely dreadful today.
I am not sleeping well at the moment, and woke up far too early this morning, stressing about what might be going to happen at work between now and Christmas. I could cry because I'm so angry that I'm letting work stress spoil the precious time I do get to spend with my family. I did 6 hours of work since Friday evening and am still sitting here feeling guilty because I'm not working today. I'm grumpy with the kids and feeling really tearful, and I wasn't feeling like this at this time last week.
I'm not one for letting things get the better of me usually, but I do occasionally suffer from stress and I can feel it sneaking in now. I know that I earn a lot of money and should expect to work hard, but I sometimes wonder if my career choice is worth it. I love the teaching, I love (most of) the kids, but I can't bear what the management are doing, and there are no other jobs out there at the moment. Ugh.

brizzledfw

Hi WiC

Couldn't read and run. Sorry to hear how carp it is at school at the moment. It does sounds like the HT is using an axe to push through change rather than a scalpel! I suspect this is more about their fear of losing their job if the OfSTED 'ruling' is satisfactory..aka notice to improve.. It's the fear that they will be judged as wanting. How are his/her middle management team? If they are not strong I guess that makes it harder for everyone.

Anyway getting stressed will ultimately not help you hun so please try and limit your additional hours. From what you have said you sound like you are good and in a shortage subject...can s/he really risk losing you??

Hugs

Brizzle

Igamogam

I undestand how you feel WIC but dont over do it. Take some time and contact your union health and well being dept - thay will have something/someone to help/speak to about the stress and how to deal with it. Best to get advice now before the stress becomes unbearable. Sorry all sounds a bit clinical but I teach children with challenging behaviour so I know about stress and I also know what can happens when help/advice is not sought at the very beginning - do your self a favour and be good to yourself