you know when all you lovely people give advice...

tesuhoha

Basically, what Im saying to you is that you're not in a position to make those decisions. You will be in the future when youve saved and studied, but you dont have those choices at the moment so relax about it and try to enjoy life. Save your money. When you are on your course, try to socialise a bit.

postingalwaysposting

sorry the above post took me ages to write, tes yes the maths gcse will help but i need qualifications in what i would like to do aswell as i dont think animal care is for me anymore... now i have always liked to work in an office (dont ask me why) but no one will take me, even for a photocopying job (this is whats causes me insecuritys) and i also would love to work with old people, but agaion have no idea how to get here, i have thought about volunter work but i cant fit it around my flexi contract, it was bad enough asking for my tues off for my maths gcse :rolleyes:

cafcgirl i have chosen a college for my gcse purely because i hate maths and will (affraid to say this) cheat if i did it at home and then when its test time fail, also if i am stuck then its easier to approch a teacher than go through the palava of phoneing lectures etc and also the people side, i am no good with new people and i want to break this fear. sorry cafc girl maybe i should have reworded that, not all people who work in a shop are thick, i am sorry... no noone tells you life would be this hard... oh how i wish i was still at school

tes i think i can just about cope here another year (2 at the most) the reason staying here seems a good idea is the classes finish at 9pm and to bus it home would take one hour and if i am back in work at 8am the next morning i will die, so mum will collect me (30 min) if i stdy while renting it could add more stress and travel time onto college, so basically making college undo able.

the only other option for me would be dropping back to part time and do a fulltime course in something that will get me a better job as well as my gcse maths...

postingalwaysposting

tes i would never get a car loan, i dont want debt ever :rotfl: right so reading all you great words i have divised a mini plan, not as drastic as moving out but a plan never the less..

* pass my driving test ~ first time although i can afford to do it again
* go to college and do my gcse maths ~ this will open up more jobs/more study
* live at home but keep saying no
* maybe get a lock fitted on my door (with mums permission) to stop bro walking in as and when
* get a life ~ find something to ocupy me
* stop stressing ~ life happens i just have to go with the flow
* remember i am an idividual not a sheep

so i think this will be my final soa... adding all my bills etc...

£100 Rent at home
£70 BT/Broadband
£4 Bike insurance
£11 House insurance
£50 Bus fare
£18 Xmas savings
£6 Charity
£50 Me stuff ie toiletries etc
£300 Savings
£180 Driving lessons

= £786.00

ZTD

postingalwaysposting wrote: »

ztd ~ the big one no money, i know i dont spend a lot but i like to have a cushion just in case, i think i will move out and then have nothing and then the debt will start again and i dont want to live in debt for my life... also there are perks at home... i.e lifts home, lunch box made etc etc

Ah, you've just hit one of the pitfalls of budgetting. You must compare like with like. You compare your mandatory spending with your guaranteed income - which you've done, and it's possible, even if there is no overtime to work. NOW, compare it you usual (but not guaranteed) income, and that will tell you what kind of lifestyle (with discretionary spending) you could expect.

BTW, did you include housing benefit and the college rebate in the calculations for moving out?

tesuhoha

Pap, it strikes me that your mum is not all bad as she does do quite a lot of stuff for you. I think you need to work on your relationship with her so that she is basically on your side. By this I dont mean lending her any money but maybe by doing little jobs round the house to help her out (Im sure you do this already), making her cups of tea, chatting to her, maybe breakfast in bed. Buy her a bunch of flowers, a box of chocolates, a bottle of wine now and again to show her that you appreciate her. You could also accompany her shopping as long as its her thats doing the buying and you have such an iron will, Im sure you can resist. That way, you could use being at home to your advantage. You can do the courses you want while living there and when you have the better job, move out. This might seem like a very long term solution but there doesnt seem to be an easier one to achieve what you want which is your own place with money to spare. If you do this and carry on working, you will probably be able to save the money for a car anyway. Once you have the better paid job you will afford the rent and run a car anyway. I think you can do this Pap as you have great determination. You have to stick at it once you make a long term plan as it is like debt repayment; you will get there eventually. Otherwise, I dont really know what you can do short term to achieve what you want. If you move out in September, as you say, money is going to be very tight. I would definitely resist the car at the moment though because you really cant afford it.

CAFCGirl

LOL Pap, dont worry hun I wasn't offended.

All I'm saying is, is that you're obviously good at your job, it doesnt require that much from you, and like you said you're probably over qualified. Is it possible there is any aspect of shop work that you do enjoy. I for one want to be a Merchandiser, but go through the smaller steps first in order to channel myself.

As for getting into office work, offer yourself out as work experience maybe? I've had one person do two days worth of work experience with me at my shop, and a week later came back to tell me they'd got a job after loads of rejections through lack of experience, and the weird thing is, I actually gave her very little to do since I was limited in what I could ask her to do.

Maybe write to a local college, solicitors etc and see if you can get anything. It doesnt hurt to try.

As for moving, you seem in yourself to have put it on a back burner emotionally. There is no time limit on you to do this, in your own time and when you're more comfortable. It takes a very mature attitude to it to say no I'll stay put because I dont want to end up in more debt by pushing myself too early. I think you should continue saving for it though as some extra motivation.

Besides who knows what might happen, someone on your course might wanna move out too and you could end up in a share with a friend.
Or you can still always come and live with me, I could do with a friend

Life is hard, but if it werent hard it wouldnt really be worth it in my mind . At least feeling, be it angry, hurt, happy, lets us know we're still alive!!

postingalwaysposting

ztd no i didnt put the benifits into my soa basically because i dont like benifits they are given to you and taken back away and you are left with the 'debt' to repay the government, i have seen this happen far too much

tes yes are relationship is ok and she does do a lot for me and i will miss her if i left, but i think life will be much easier (finacally and mentally) if i stayed at home, she has even said in the last few days that when i pass my test i can borrow her car to keep myself going ~ now this wouldnt have happen a few weeks ago... i do get her treats, too many prob and they are appriciated but i just feel it would be better if i give her the cash we do go shopping quite often, we will do today (i hate shopping :rolleyes:) but we always fight (not badly) at the till who will pay what, as whe wants to pay for mine and i want to pay for hers, so most of the time i just let her buy what she wants, i have also been buying some of my food for the month to make it easier on her, she seems to apriciate that. I dont know what i want really and i am just happy to muddle along as i am (saving) and when the time comes to make a decision i will, i just feel that if i jump head first into this i will fall at the first hurdle and i dont want that to happen... and to be honsest yes everyone (except my friend) have all moved out of there parents houses but i dont feel this is a great need anymore, since i am not being used a a money service anymore i seem to have come on leaps and bounds at home, yes things that my brother does really gets my goat but all brothers are like that right and he is like my father anyways so i wouldnt accept anything better :rolleyes: I dont know why i am worrying about something that prob will not happen and something that i have months/years (2/3) to decide

tesuhoha

If you want to work in an office, then maybe you should take some kind of business course. How about being a legal secretary? I think you can study to do this but you would need to find out what qualifications you would need. I think I would like to do this if I was younger and it would be an interesting and enjoyable thing to study. You would also need if you havent already got them to buy clothes for this job like smart trousers/skirts/jackets/blouses/nice shoes as they would expect you to look very smart. However, places like Primark and Matalan do smart clothes and there are always sales. If something doesnt come from a sale then you wont see it on my back but I work in an office and manage to keep up appearances.

postingalwaysposting

aww cafc girl sometimes i just want to get hold of you and give you a huge hug.... all what you said id true and i will look into work experienace even if i hae to do it while on 'holiday' from work, if it will allow me that encouragement it would be great, i did some ofice work while i was in school as work experience and i loved it, they were the best days of school ever... sadly it was so long ago now that most employers wont look at it :rotfl:

Thanks all of you for taking your own time once again to look at my situation you are all unique and wonderfal people... thansk isnt good enough :rolleyes:

postingalwaysposting

tesuhoha wrote: »

If you want to work in an office, then maybe you should take some kind of business course. How about being a legal secretary? I think you can study to do this but you would need to find out what qualifications you would need. I think I would like to do this if I was younger and it would be an interesting and enjoyable thing to study. You would also need if you havent already got them to buy clothes for this job like smart trousers/skirts/jackets/blouses/nice shoes as they would expect you to look very smart. However, places like Primark and Matalan do smart clothes and there are always sales. If something doesnt come from a sale then you wont see it on my back but I work in an office and manage to keep up appearances.

see now this would interest me... or even a secretay for a business of some kind, this would suit me down to the ground, but yes i havent got all what you have stated but they are easy enough to buy and also i feel if i got a job i was proud of i would make myself more presentable, instead of the hair up, long jackets, black trousers sort if person i am now...