you know when all you lovely people give advice...

tesuhoha

Oh, and you and only you should be in control of your bank account.

tesuhoha

Hope you are feeling stronger now.

postingalwaysposting

tesuhoha wrote: »

Hope you are feeling stronger now.

yes thanks tes, just really worried about this payment (if i am getting it back or not)... i suppose i will have to wait until tommrow but it will be playing on my mind. I just have to say no... to everyone and also stop buying stuff for the house, i will get there one day... hopefully very soon

tesuhoha wrote:

You can get advice from here but only You can change your life.

yes and i am determined too, small steps at a time :A

tesuhoha

Okay Posting. You know what youve gotta do. Good luck about the payment tomorrow. Hope you get it back. If you dont then your bank account is a strictly no go area. Think you should close it before any more money can be taken. You are not liable for this debt.

tesuhoha

Just noticed Posting, our post count is almost identical.

postingalwaysposting

:rotfl: so it is tes... thats spooky :rotfl:

Seaxwyn

Hello Posting. I've just caught up with your thread and feel so indignant for you. How hard it must be to take this behaviour from your mother, someone you could reasonably look to for support. How can she live with herself?

What shines through from your posts is how different you are - sensible, resourceful and also dutiful and considerate. All at a young age and without much in the way of a role model from your parents. I take my hat off to you! (or would if I wore one).

Very best of luck with it all - I can tell you will go far in achieving everything you want, and I'm sure it will be sooner than you think.

CAFCGirl

Woah! I missed so much, one evening of book reading and look that what happens.

Hun, I can't say much else that hasnt been said already. If you contact CAB or even your bank, I think you'll find that its actually illegal for the DCA to conduct that transaction on your account. So ZTD was right, it will go down as a fraudulent transaction. If the payment is being made from your card you have just as much right to phone the DCA (Don't rely on your Mum, else you dont know where the refund will end up going!) because effectively since you're paying it you've kinda taken it over.

So phone them, let them know you're not happy and see what they offer you, if it's less than what you want (i.e half of it back) tell them you'll call them back. Speak to bank/CAB and then call the DCA back with the legal spiel. You'll get your money back then.

Then tell the DCA you will pay them by direct debit, standing order or by giro cheque only. That way you've got much more of a paper trail, rather than it just looking like a £200 transaction.

Secondly I cannot believe that your mum told you she was going to take your card for shopping!
And use it!!!!
From working in retail I can tell you it's illegal for your mum to be in possession and use your card. Whether she thinks she's got your permission or not. Only way you can ever get round it is if it's prooved to be a joint account with both names down as holders. So in that respect, I kinda hope whoever serves your mum picks up on that!

Change all your PIN numbers, right now! Tell ehr you've changed them because you cant trust her, which is exactly it. You cant trust her not to spend your money, you cant trust her to pay what she owes.

I know you listed what your mum has to pay out, but the BT bill, if I remember correctly you're paying, have you put a block on the phone yet? Plus you mentionned loads of overpayments. If she's struggling, which she obv is, then she should ensure the minimum is paid to everything and try and get herself straight with the things that need to be paid immediately, and ensure that they are taken care of. If she cant afford to run a car with petrol etc then she shouldnt have one. Under no circumstances is any of that your problem though.

And lastly, pack your bag, I'll come and get you, and you can come and live at Chez CAFCGirl

Big hugs hun, keep your head held high because you've got so much to teach this world, and your Mum, and you should be bloody proud of that!

kathfisch

postingalwaysposting wrote: »

thanks kath ~ i am pants with money because i just spent all my paypal money...

What did you spend it on hun? I find it hard to believe it was something totally unnecessary and reckless, that's not like you. And even if you did... who could blame you the way things are right now?!

postingalwaysposting wrote: »

i am pants with money because people walk over me... i am pants with money because i am stupid enough to let others have there way...

Those are not 'pants with money' things. They are 'I'm a kind and caring person and I always try to do my best for other people and avoid confrontation and so I end up saying yes when I want to say no because they put me in a difficult situation' things. Which is different, and its something you're changing already...

postingalwaysposting wrote: »

she has just come in my room and she is now working tom and will give me the money (well £40) i told her thats not the point the point is i have to do this in the first place, and i told her (well shouted at her) i seem to be suporting everyone and i cant do it anymore

... and this is a good example! Well done you for telling her how things are in such definite words :T

postingalwaysposting wrote: »

she just slumped off...

because she couldn't argue with that... the message will be getting through!

postingalwaysposting wrote: »

kath i will do all of that but not very quickly...

Oh no, I didn't mean all those things will happen soon, but they will, that's the point. You seemed to be giving up hope of them ever happening but they are what give you strength and determination, so I didn't want you to give up!

postingalwaysposting wrote: »

i havent given it but i am sick of money i am sick of looking at the stuff i am sick of working for the stuff and i just wanna live on the moon and get away from everything. I wont do anything stupid but i am fed up of everything, work, home, job, money, life, family...

I know exactly how you feel, sometimes everything is just too much and you need a break. Hopefully the holiday will give you that, but also once your family get the message that you're not their private cash machine you might have a bit of peace. You earn enough to pay your bills, buy some things and save gradually... to be allowed (by your family) to actually do that would be a huge break from the stress you're under now.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you

K x

gingeremmie

Echo the others. Have you changed your PIN and put a block on the phone? Those are things you can do quickly and relatively easy that will help your financial situation. It's not up to you to pay for your mum and brother's long expensive phone calls. And I'm pleased you went to the doctors.

And have a hug