am I silly to be upset?

meritaten

This has been gnawing at me all evening! I would like your thoughts please.

I have shared childcare of my DGS since he was a few months old with his other nanny, for my sons partner (will call her DIL, cos that is how I think of her). He is now 4 and at nursery.

his other nanny takes him or picks him up 2 - 3 days a week and so do I. The arrangement works really well - we cover each other for sickness, appointments, or shopping trips and I have absolutely no complaints there!

Whats really upset me is that DGS is in the Nursery Nativity tomorrow and I sort of assumed that DIL would get me a ticket to go see him. (I have already seen 3 of the Grandaughters Nativity/Xmas events).

But, she has mentioned that Nanny S is going (in passing). Obviously, I am not invited as DIL hasnt said to meet her at the school or even the time of the Nativity.

I would have loved to have seen him - and am a little worried that he will spot his Mum and Nanny S and wonder where I am!

So? do I say anything to DIL? Perhaps I shouldnt have assumed an invite and should have said I would pay for a ticket to see him? How can I put it tactfully that I feel 'left out'?
Thoughts please!

Emmzi

Just ask

**curlywurly**

I can see why you feel that way. In all 3 schools my daughter has been at, these type of events usually only allow 2 attendees. We often had to choose between going ourselves, and inviting my parents. Having said that, once I realised there were often a couple of spare seats, my parents would often turn up and plead ignorance ... they were never turned away! I'd have a word with DIL to see if there's any reason you can't go.

My FIL always gets asked if we are allowed more than 2 tkts, but he sees it as a burden, and there's a lot of huffing and puffing, so whilst that doesn't seem to be the case here, DIL may think that since you contribute so much already to DGS's life, you may not want to spend an afternoon watching him dressed up as a sheep/reindeer!

Person_one

I think its ok to just ask if it would be possible for you to watch the play, but it might be that there's a lack of space issue so only two grown ups per child perhaps?

Armchair23

Good grief woman why on earth are you asking a bunch of strangers when you can have a simple conversation with the one person who can answer your question.

You have a very reasonable question to ask and I can see no reason at all why you should feel embarassed ot awkward in asking it.

Go On XXX !

**curlywurly**

Armchair23 wrote: »

Good grief woman why on earth are you asking a bunch of strangers when you can have a simple conversation with the one person who can answer your question.

Cos that's what this forum is for - getting a cross section of people to give their opinions?

Spendless

I was also going to say is it due to restricted tickets? Up until this year my kids have only been allowed 2 tickets due to a large school year and a small hall. They've recently built a new hall and eldest is at Secondary so I managed to get 5 tickets for my DD's nativity and invited my mum, nan and sil-none could make it-they're so used to not being able to go. :rotfl:

tanith

My grandaughters play is also restricted to 2 tickets per family so could be she just thought you knew that already .. but won't hurt to ask.

McKneff

If space is restricted there may be a DVD available, if you cant go then ask them about that too

meritaten

I dont think that there is a maximum of two per ticket - he is at MY old school and the hall is massive! besides which, from listening to other parents some of them have purchased 4 or more tickets.

yes, I will probably speak to her about it - bit late now, as I know that Nanny S is taking him to school tom first thing, as he is doing 'wraparound' and DIL is coming to the school straight from work!

Plans_all_plans

You're looking into this way too much. I think you're probably thinking that the other nan's been invited as "the preferred nan."

However, the baby's mum probably hasn't even thought you'd be interested in going as it's not your day to have the child and you might have something else on if you're usually busy. Granted, it wouldn't hurt for her to have checked with you if you wanted to go, or mentioned it but said that there's a limit on tickets, but she prob didn't even think.

Just ask her outright. There's nothing embarrassing or upsetting in it. It seems like you think she's done it deliberately to exclude you. (This is extremely unlikely to be the case, as you do her a massive favour with child care!)