How to turn down a wedding invitation?

74jax

Jewelleryfan wrote: »

Oh dear :eek:

I wouldnt go if she spoke to me like this and I'd probably tell her I'm not coming cause we are work colleagues not friends :rotfl:

ha ha that's a good one, but I think I might just mutter that to myself and not to her.

She wasn't nasty when she said it, at all. Just wanted us to stop asking her and for her to keep turning us down.

We get on ok in the office, we all make each other's coffee etc and we've listened to her wedding plans and all that, but I feel if I say no I can't go without a good reason, she won't speak to me for the rest of my time there, which isn't hat I want.

sugarwalsh

Well she does sound a bit mad. No wonder she is strugging to find people! Just tell her thanks, but no thanks. The truth is always the easiest way.
Megan

katerinasol

I would go with a pre-booked holiday like everyone said. I do feel sorry for her for not understanding how her behaviour is affecting people; she can't keep her distance and then expect people she wanted to keep her distance from to make a huge effort to make it to her wedding. If she was having a local do then fair enough, but this sounds like it's a bit too far. She sounds like a good example of a bridezilla!

Mojisola

74jax wrote: »

I don't know what she like other than at work. myself and the other 3 girls go out maybe once a month for a meal but we stopped asking her when she said something along the lines of 'I appreciate you asking me but we're work colleagues, not friends, so please don't keep asking me to come out'.

74jax wrote: »

1 girl is getting married in June next year and has said she is inviting us all to her wedding. We were all quite shocked as we only see her at work, she doesn't socialise with us or contact us outside of work.

She doesn't have many friends and as the deal she has is a package for x amount of people I 'think' I'm invited to make up the numbers.

Plus my contact runs out in March and so I won't see her from March until her wedding June and I just feel really awkward about it.

Her refusal to socialise with you is probably why she hasn't got enough friends to make up the numbers.

She didn't want to spend time with you when you asked her but now she using emotional blackmail to get you all to turn up at her wedding!

You can either come up with a reason now and put up with her reaction or tell her you are coming and then decline the invitation when you leave in March. It depends how horrible she's going to be to you if you say no now.

74jax

katerinasol wrote: »

I would go with a pre-booked holiday like everyone said. I do feel sorry for her for not understanding how her behaviour is affecting people; she can't keep her distance and then expect people she wanted to keep her distance from to make a huge effort to make it to her wedding. If she was having a local do then fair enough, but this sounds like it's a bit too far. She sounds like a good example of a bridezilla!

I don't know how she's been recently as I've not seen her for 8 weeks, but before then she was ok. Just very talkative about her wedding. I got engaged in June and so I liked the discussions over food, decorations etc, but it seemed whatever I said she then went over and above to get something more expensive - which wouldn't be hard cos my wedding is so small and informal, but then went on to tell everyone exactly how much it all cost. I get uncomfortable about that, but that;s just me. She has been in tears many times over it and the cost and how much debt they are in because of it, and I just don't want a huge falling out over it. I'm probably making more of it than it is, as I'm not at work and so can't see how she is, and I'm the last one out of our office to say I can't make it, so I think that's worse.

74jax

I've done it.:j

I put: is unable to attend.

And added at the bottom,

Dear xyz. With your wedding falling within the June half term I am unfortunately having to decline. As you know from previous years we always go away during this week for DD's birthday.

I hope you and abc have a wonderful day and look back on it with many fond memories.

BabyBoots

I think that's a great polite response. She'll probably be a little relieved that there isn't just one person from work there that doesn't know anyone else. It sounds like you aren't very close and neither of you will mind too much about you not going, as long as you declined politely.

Politeness is the key though. The thing I want most for my wedding is for my guests to show up and enjoy themselves. I've already had one good friend say she's unable to make it because of her work, and fingers crossed for no more guests that can't make it, although I'm sure there will be some.

Yes, it is expensive to stay over at weddings, and a hassle to travel to them, but what us brides and grooms really want is for our loved ones to share the day with us. Else we'd just elope!

stir_crazy

74jax wrote: »

Yes she sent them out this week and would like to know by end of January.

Eek, that is early for invites. I think she is majorly obsessed by the wedding and TBH she sounds really rude anyway when people cant make it.

I think your reply was really polite and to the point though.

74jax

BabyBoots wrote: »

I think that's a great polite response.

stir_crazy wrote: »

Eek, that is early for invites. I think she is majorly obsessed by the wedding and TBH she sounds really rude anyway when people cant make it.

I think your reply was really polite and to the point though.

Thanks, I'm just a little concerned that I haven't actually got a holiday planned for June, although the last 2 years we did go away during this half term (but it fell in May).

When the other girl told her should couldn't make it as on holiday (and she actually IS on holiday) - (to try and save her on an invite because the invites were almost £8 each) she said 'oh no you're not, it's not on the calendar'.

I think I will just say as my contract runs out in March I don't need to book any time off but we are looking at getting away that time again.

wanchai_2

Good Lord, she sounds like a psycho!!!! :eek::eek::eek::eek: Checking the calendar for your colleague's leave, accusing her of lying about it, crossing people off her Christmas card list for declining, !!!!!!!

74jax wrote: »

I don't know what she like other than at work. myself and the other 3 girls go out maybe once a month for a meal but we stopped asking her when she said something along the lines of 'I appreciate you asking me but we're work colleagues, not friends, so please don't keep asking me to come out'.

Jewelleryfan wrote: »

Oh dear :eek:

I wouldnt go if she spoke to me like this and I'd probably tell her I'm not coming cause we are work colleagues not friends :rotfl:

What she said. :rotfl:

I see that you've already declined, and well done you. I can't believe that she doesn't even want to go for a meal/drink with you, but expects you all to fork out HUNDREDS of pounds on a hen and wedding - which is MIDWEEK and MILES away, on top of everything else - words actually fail me. :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek: