Objective opinions from the sistahood

katerinasol

With some sites you don't need to be signed in to see if someone is online. Have you asked him outright why he is still on there? How can he deny it if you've seen it online?

I would put it to him outright; you've been 'exclusive' for three months and that's a serious enough length of time for you to feel hurt that he's still looking. Ask him why he is still looking and don't let him squirm his way out of an answer.

As for being relegated during office hours, I wouldn't say that's a dealbreaker. His work hours are his work hours, not his girlfriend hours. My husband can't talk to me when he's at work because he's so busy and I don't push it - I'd rather talk to him when he's at home and can actually pay attention to me.

newcook

create a fake profile and contact him and see what his replies are?!!

if you ask him outright he'll deny it or swing it back at you as to why you are still on there to know - if you finish things and walk away without reason you will never know why he is still on there.

Need_some_help

Thanks for your replies ladies, you have been so constructive and non-judgemental. I have been thinking about this all night, much of it spent crying because I am head over heels in love with him but I can't deny the obvious any more. I am pretty certain he's not seeing anyone else, he's just too wrapped up in his work, but I don't trust him and that's not a good basis for a relationship. Although he is very affectionate towards me, I am certain that he's never loved anyone and have no reason to think that he'll love me either in time.

I'm too old to be playing games so it's time to move on. It seems weird to break up with someone I get on so well with without an explanation so I will tell him why.

FunnySaving

I still think it's worth asking him - what have you got to lose if you're already considering breaking up?

flutterby_lil

Why not just speak to him first rather than break up with him?!?

Why do people not talk anymore?....

skintchick

Are you sure this isn;t your issue rather than his? Do you have trust issues? Just raising it before you dump him.

Need_some_help

flutterby_lil wrote: »

Why not just speak to him first rather than break up with him?!?

I don't think I could frame this in an objective way, I'll just end up crying and behaving like a pathetic wreck. That's the last thing that either of us need.

My man has a very particular personality that many women would not fiind attractive, let alone be able to manage. He also has a health condition that would put many people off him, but just makes me love him more. This is going to be so hard because I really wanted to make a life with him.

candygirl

What is it with some blokes thinking they're cyberstuds?I think it's all about them hedging their bets, and seeing what's still out there tbh:mad:How would he react if he thought you were still looking for other blokes?:D

onlyroz

katerinasol wrote: »

As for being relegated during office hours, I wouldn't say that's a dealbreaker. His work hours are his work hours, not his girlfriend hours. My husband can't talk to me when he's at work because he's so busy and I don't push it - I'd rather talk to him when he's at home and can actually pay attention to me.

I agree with this - if I call my husband while he's at work I know I've only really got 1 minute of his time max, because he's usually very busy. So I only call if there's something I need to know at that minute, which I know he can answer quickly (e.g. "I'm in Tesco, are you OK with me picking up X for dinner?" - answer: "yes sure"). For anything else I'll email or text him and not expect an immediate response.

And I don't think this relationship should be written off, necessarily - you need to have a discussion with him about where you both think the relationship is heading.

Peater

You have asked for some objective opinions, which you have recieved many.

But you have shunned them all in favour of a rash decision. So what was the point?

Sounds like you just want an excuse to sit around in pyjama's eating ice-cream with your girly mates talking about how awful men are....

Talk to the guy! If you have already decided to break it off, what is there to lose?