Just out of interest......

elvis86

newcook wrote: »

in time, yes - he could be a parent to them but at the minute he is moms boyfriend who lives elsewhere. if ex DIL wants her ex inlaws to get to know him (which as I have said before – its great that all the adults get along) surely she should invite the grandparents over for dinner when boyfriend will be there, not invite boyfriend for dinner to someone elses house and make them feel uncomfortable?!

The dad has re-married.

As I've said before, we don't know the situation and whether the ex-DIL is doing this out of "duty" or because she genuinely values her relationship with her ex in-laws.

There's every chance that this weekly dinner may be uncomfortable for her too, but at the end of the day she is doing it to ensure that her children get to see their paternal grandparents, and I think that's really admirable.

Stephb1986_2

Personally myself I think it's a bit weird that your ex sil and her new chap is going for tea I would of took it as just a invitation for the kids?

Saying that though my future father in law often gets invited round to his ex wifes sisters and mothers for christmas drinks etc, my h2b is the youngest of his kids at 28, my h2b's aunts ask how fil2b is infront of my mil2b and her new husband! I think thats weird too but thats what they do

Steph xx

newcook

I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree!

personally I think its a little odd to invite your boyfriend to dinner at your ex husbands parents house when they are trying to spend time with their granddaughters

elvis86

Stephb1986 wrote: »

Personally myself I think it's a bit weird that your ex sil and her new chap is going for tea I would of took it as just a invitation for the kids?

This isn't a one-off though. This is happening every week. Would you honestly be happy to give up a night every week to visit your ex in-laws? If your OH had an ex and kids, would you be happy about him spending a night every week with his ex's parents whilst you sat at home? I don't think many people would..:cool:

But the OP's ex-SIL and her new boyfriend don't seem to mind. And I think they deserve respect for that, rather than petty-mindedness from the ex in-laws (who they are actually trying to help, by facilitating regular contact with their grandchildren, which their son is unable to do because he moved away).

Stephb1986 wrote: »

Saying that though my future father in law often gets invited round to his ex wifes sisters and mothers for christmas drinks etc, my h2b is the youngest of his kids at 28, my h2b's aunts ask how fil2b is infront of my mil2b and her new husband! I think thats weird too but thats what they do

I don't think that's weird at all. I think that's really nice, and it must make life 10 times easier for your OH?

Just because a couple doesn't want to be together any more, doesn't mean that they have to hate each other/refuse to speak about the other/spend the rest of their lives making their children's life difficult by squabbling.

GracieP

elvis86 wrote: »

This isn't a one-off though. This is happening every week. Would you honestly be happy to give up a night every week to visit your ex in-laws? If your OH had an ex and kids, would you be happy about him spending a night every week with his ex's parents whilst you sat at home? I don't think many people would..:cool:

When I was reading the first post of this thread I actually thought the problem was that the SIL's new boyfriend was uncomfortable with the arrangement and putting pressure on her to stop bringing the children to the grandparents. I thought the OP's parents were worried about losing contact with the girls due to this.

elvis86 wrote: »

And I think they deserve respect for that, rather than petty-mindedness from the ex in-laws (who they are actually trying to help, by facilitating regular contact with their grandchildren, which their son is unable to do because he moved away).

I'm really confused as to why anyone would think that the SIL and her partner are taking the p*ss here. Are the grandparents 5 star chefs who cook meals that people normally pay hundreds of pounds for? Because otherwise I think it's a bit blind not to realise that out of the adults the ones who benefit the most, and by a very significant margin, are the grandparents. They might be cooking dinner but the SIL is the one who is going out of her way for their benefit. She is the one making the sacrifices not the other way around.

babymoo

I have my parents and step parents on both sides, everyone gets on very well with everyone. Mum will help out and pick up step bro (step mums eldest) from work when he's on same shift as my brother. Dad picks up stepdad from hospital appointments if were all busy and every year we all get together for a big family meal including my grandparents and step siblings grand parents. Amongst all this we have 1 very precious little girl who we all dote on and get to spend so much time with because we all get on together.

Mum and stepdad are welcome in dad and stepmum's house and vice versa. I have been very very poorly in recent years and everyone helped everyone out and not because they have to but because were all family. At the end of the day all parents and grandparents want to be a part of the childrens lives.