I know this can't be solved I just need support

kittiej

^^ Here here

MrsTinks

I'm going to have to disagree... It's not the OPs mums duty to pay for her sisters care. Whilst as a parent I think she should certainly be more supportive then it's not her duty to take the financial strain of caring for her sibling.
As the niece of a severely mentally disabled aunt who has now sadly passed away some years ago I saw the agony of my family and the choices my grandparents had to make and my father too... they had to legally denounce her to make sure should anything happen to one of them the government wouldn't take the house out from under them to pay her care (this was when their other children were still young too - a terrifying thought to them some 50 years ago to be homeless if one passed away as her care would have been recouped first - thankfully things in Denmark have now changed!). But I can appreciate the pain and anguish these choices must be for the OP.
There is a whole lifetime before the OP where her mum may have built up recentment to her disabled sister, and now her sister is getting all her daughters love too. I'm not condoning it but I can just maybe see where the trouble started?

OP - your mum can hop up and down and hissyfit about the police till she turns blue... it's a civil matter and unless she wants to claim you got the cards without her consent she will get told politely to go away. If she does try to claim that you obtained them without her consent then just tell the truth. You applied for the card, she was aware and consented and the bills go to her I assume? Not like she can claim she doesn't know!

Your shortfall isn't as much as it was initially so that's good news - it's possibly small enough that with something to earn a little extra you could manage this... Others have suggested cleaning jobs - I'd second that - or ironing at home. I have a cleaner at the moment and I am very flexible about when she comes to help me out. I know she has 2 kids and is a carer for her husband. All I ask is she lets me know if she will be doing a different day to normal or if she can't make it.
Ironing likewise you could do without worrying too much - you could take in ironing and do it at home. Do be careful if you do deliveries and pickups - you will need to probably let the mobility people know you are going to use it for whatever in case they don't like it

Where there is a will...

kittiej

I can only applaud the OP since there are too many people who want to put relatives into homes instead of caring for them themselves.


It's all very sad.