I know this can't be solved I just need support

quintwins

singlef wrote: »

I put my aunts daycare costs into the nursery box I dont actually have a child at nursery!

oops sorry i misread it and got it confused with another post i was reading

kittiej

Well I would tell your mother that you class the debts racked up on cc's as 'her' contribution to caring for your aunt and I would stop paying.

singlef

I am such an idiot, I have been awake all night in such a state wondering why I have such a big shortfall when it wasn't that long ago it was less than that. So i had a look at the calculator thingy again and realised I had only put in one weeks money instead of 4 of a few of the benefits we receive! so here is my revised statement still short but looking better

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 1

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 0
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 1067.2
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1067.2

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 362
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 0
Electricity............................. 122.36
Gas..................................... 0
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 0
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 35
TV Licence.............................. 12.54
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 200
Clothing................................ 0
Petrol/diesel........................... 80
Road tax................................ 0
Car Insurance........................... 0
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 116
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 23.22
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 1.99
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
Haircuts................................ 0
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 953.11


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 0
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 0

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
halifax........................3076.28...55.1......17.95
barclaycard....................7396.96...163.4.....16.75
Total unsecured debts..........10473.24..218.5.....-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,067.2
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 953.11
Available for debt repayments........... 114.09
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 218.5
Amount short for making debt repayments. -104.41

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 0
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -10,473.24
Net Assets.............................. -10,473.24

singlef

kittiej wrote: »

Well I would tell your mother that you class the debts racked up on cc's as 'her' contribution to caring for your aunt and I would stop paying.

I wish I could

headachesrus

singlef wrote: »

I guess since i am laying everything on the line I should say that the only person getting done for fraud would be me! The second card was applied for online by me with my mothers consent but she never signed anything. All the payments for this card come out of my bank account and she has threatened me with the police if I don't pay. She has me exactly where she wants me! Like I said in my original post I know this cant be solved I just need some support in my darker moments and today is turning into one of those times!

No, no, you have done everything with your mother's permission, she would have a very difficult job in proving that she was unaware of these debts as she tells you each month when they are due.

What would happen if you just stop paying? Will the grief you get from her be any worse than the pickle you are in now?

kittiej

There is no price you could ever place on the lovely thing you are doing by caring for your aunt so that she can lead the best possible life that she can instead of being left to diminish somewhere.

Stop feeling guilty about your mother - it's her own fault for letting you have access to this money.

singlef

quintwins wrote: »

can you change your mobile phone bill? either to pay as you go or sim only

also your grocerie budget could possibly be haved aslong as your aunt has no special requirements, i spend £200 a month on 5 of us however it takes alot of my time to go shopping late at night and cook from scratch which is time you might not have.

Does your dd have to go to nursery if your home all day, i know your caring for your aunt but might be better for awhile if she stayed with you til she's entitled to a free place

this could be easier solved if your mother was willing to play ball, however she's also prob worried about being lumbered with your debt and a bad credit rating and doesn't wanna risk upping the amount owed with a loan, i personally would never get a loan for anyone, we do help anyone we can when ever we can but when moneys involved we only give what we can afford to lose


i know you said you need the car and it's not worth gettinga cheaper one, but you just said it only does a 2minute journey, there are taxi services for this (wheelchairs clamps and have ramps ect) which could work out cheaper in the long run, even if it's only short term

I does 2 10 minute journeys and without it getting my Aunt to daycare would be a problem. I looked into the taxi option and as a disabled person she would get a discount of £2 but only for 104 journeys per year the taxi journey would cost around £10 per day 5 days per week so not saving anything there.

I have just over a year to run on my contract for my mobile phone but after that I will be going pay as you go.

singlef

headachesrus wrote: »

No, no, you have done everything with your mother's permission, she would have a very difficult job in proving that she was unaware of these debts as she tells you each month when they are due.

What would happen if you just stop paying? Will the grief you get from her be any worse than the pickle you are in now?

She would pay it and make my life a living hell! As much as she is a bitter and twisted old witch I could not do that to her! She is a pensioner with a reasonable income but this debt would cripple her if she had to pay it.

headachesrus

Then she will have to default, make arrangements to pay what she can, and you can help her out with it. It is legally her debt, and not yours.

savingqueen

Hello singlef

I don't usually post on here but couldn't pass by without adding something. You are in a very difficult position obviously but you will get through it (and emerge stronger) and you aren't alone, we are all on your side on MSE.

I know you have mentioned selling things - do you have any gold jewellery (I sold mine a few months back and got a really good price)

Any forgotten about little savings accounts? Tesco rewards, boots points et? – all adds up.

Food budgets can be stretched a bit - look on the old style board (very friendly and helpful and lots of great tips).

Any foodbanks near you? Local churches might be able to help? Cheaper transport from community transport schemes (save on petrol costs) – ask for help at voluntary services council or similar.

Any chance of any work at the daycare centre your aunt goes to? Or part-time” cash in hand” work like cleaning people’s homes while your aunt is at daycare – if you had a sympathetic “employer” who let you make up the time if your aunt was unwell?

ideas like these and others given before might cut costs a bit or add a little income but ideally I think you should think bigger.

What is the worst case scenario if you can't pay back the loans etc in your mother's name? She will be responsible - which she would have known when she agreed to help you (she did have the choice). Does she have assets/income/savings etc or is she struggling? You may have to accept that you may not be able to meet the credit payments every month (and still eat etc) and she will also have to accept this.

Is there anyone at all in your family (or family friend) who can help you financially or speak to your mum? You have nothing to loose by gritting your teeth and asking.

At the end of the day, you should still have a roof over you and your aunt’s head as the debt isn’t in your name. That should be your main priority as your aunt needs your support. You have enough to worry about and unfortunately your mum will have to look out for herself. She hasn’t bothered to help your aunt out in any way practically, financially or emotionally so, as someone else rightly pointed out her cc’s payments could be her way of helping. Don’t feel guilty – you have done more than your best and that’s all you can ever do. Put yourself and your aunt 1st - put the debt down to experience, pay your essential costs ie. rent, utilities and food etc 1st each month- if and only if, there is anything over, you could consider paying a small amount to your mother.