MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Should little sis get a holiday too?



  • the parents should set targets acording to the childs ability.

    p.s it would have been nice to be payed for my exams ;- (
  • Sharlie wrote:
    if they dont get the grades you expect of them they don't get a "prize" is like punishing them.


    That's life, isn't it? We can't keep them in cotton wool forever!

    I do, however, know it's just dangling a carrot. If I didn't do as well as expected, I'd get something to cheer me up - or for trying etc etc. I was in no way spoilt, but I never be "punished".

    Any good parents would of course always believe their child had done the best, whether that be a D or an A*.
    Please note: I am NOT Martin Lewis, just somebody else called Martyn that likes money saving!
  • Hi Folks,
    Call me mean, but imho parents should neither bribe nor reward good results at school. Praise and the child's own satisfaction should be enough. I never got anything for doing well at school, just praise when I did well, and encouragement and understanding when I struggled, and it's seen me through life so far! Otherwise, where do you stop???

    I didn't get anything either really. I'd get someone I needed as a present. I think I got a razor for passing my GCSEs - it wouldn't have waited till xmas!

    Some children/students need tha extra push though. How many of you parents know that your son/daughter aren't bothered about their GCSEs.... they're coming, so what appraoch? Surely a bribe/push/encouragement is a good thing.

    I'm at uni now and I find healthy competition between classmates good now.
    Please note: I am NOT Martin Lewis, just somebody else called Martyn that likes money saving!
  • JayD
    JayD Posts: 698 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Post
    I would hope that all parents strive to treat their children equally - this means equally fairly. If these parents believe that offering a holiday is an incentive to their children to work their hardest to achieve the best grades that they believe they can, then of course the goalposts should be tailored to what they percieve each child's achievable best is (assuming that thier preceptions are based on the projections made by their children's teachers). But I think such 'incentives' can operate in different ways on different children and may be a positive spur for one but be a negative additonal pressure for the other.

    It is not just abilities but also tempraments that can differ.
  • Ask the school for her predicted grades or target grades and give her the holiday if she matches or beats them.
  • Hi, I have never believed in this type of rewards but think that in this case if each child works to the best of their ability then they should get the same rewards, regardless of the grades. I have always believed that you should encourage each child to do their best and no-one can expect more than that.
  • anne99
    anne99 Posts: 61 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    It's a bad system, but the parents, having started it, should ensure that all their children are equally rewarded assuming one hasn't refused to try at all.

    My family has no tradition of such bribery, so I resisted going down this road with my own teenagers when they suggested it ("everyone else gets...."). Both did fine at Standard Grades (Scottish equivalent of GCSEs), but DS messed up his Highers as a result of a combination of ill-health at crucial times, his (and our) misplaced optimism that it would all come right, and a total lack of joined-up thinking at the school that failed to flag up that each of his teachers thought he would fail their subject. Hardly believable, but it happens. No remedial or disaster-aversion action was taken, and he failed four out of the five highers.

    Naturally, he was devastated, and it took a lot of time and support for him to regain his self-respect and come round to seeing that there were good alternative ways ahead when his original career plans imploded.

    If he had also had to cope with the loss of a greatly anticipated holiday or significant sum of money, well, it wouldn't have helped. I suspect that to have been given it anyway as a consolation prize or sympathetic gesture wouldn't have helped either.

    The grown-up world might like to kick you when you're down, but parents are there to support you, not to join in.
  • Mumphali
    Mumphali Posts: 26 Forumite
    My brother was naturally brainy and i was hard working. For A Levels my folks gave us both holidays for getting the grades we needed to get into the uni of our choice - so it was fair for both
  • This is a good one.

    It worked the opposite way with my brother and me when we sat our highers.

    He was first and was offered a set amount for each grade. £20 C £50 B £100 A

    He went on to get 5 As. Perhaps the money was an incentive!!

    As I was deemed to be clever, my offer was jackpot or bust.

    I had to get the 5 As. I didn't think it was particularly fair. I thought I worked harder in the actual classes so didn't need to revise.

    In this case, I think there should be a target agreed with Ashley which is a challenge but that is realistic enough to provide the motivation to acheive. This all assumes that Ashley is driven by money and holidays!!!
    Working in the shadowy world of Financial Services!
  • Mmmm, how many of the folk dissing this as a 'bribe' do their own work for the fun of it? None!?! There's a surprise... This is not a bribe, it is a reward for effort. Go for it.
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