MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Should little sis get a holiday too?



  • Sadly, 'hard work' without results doesn't do much for you later in life. My employer doesn't reward me for 'hard work', but for what I actually achieve.

    I too have worked very hard for exams and receive poor grades (still a bit upset about 38% on my advanced molecular biology exam at uni) and worked very little to receive excellence (3rd highest mark in the county in Information Systems GCSE exam without opening a book to revise)

    What is the point of rewarding someone who toils away yet produces poor results?
  • madmamma
    madmamma Posts: 13 Forumite
    Of course she should be rewarded. If the parents want to justify to either sis they can just say that each has been rewarded for achieving or bettering their teachers expected grades. I don't see it as bribery just a reward for hard work - hard to see some whizz-kid in the City refering to their comission/bonus as bribery!!
  • rozzid
    rozzid Posts: 50 Forumite
    I know the standard line should be that she will be rewarded for her hard work with her grades but kids don't think like that. Of course her parents should reward her if they have already started down that road with their other daughter. Although I agree that it should be made clear that the reward is for the amount of work she did in order to get the results she got and not for the actual results themselves.
    Rose :j
  • When it came to my GCSE's I was promised a (small) amount of money for every A that I got. I ended up with 9 Bs and got nothing. Pretty consistent eh?

    The thing is that when we are children rewarding for effort is fine. In the grown up world however no-one is going to say "well you tried hard with your GCSEs/A-Levels/Degree and even though you failed miserably I'll still give you that great job"

    Adults get rewarded for what they achieve not how hard they worked at it.

    And of course you have to bribe kids!!!!! Don't we do the same with adults with pay bonuses, comission, acheivement related pay, more money for a harder job?

    Might as well get them used to the big bad world when they are young so they can cope when they get to that stage.
  • Mics_chick
    Mics_chick Posts: 12,014 Forumite
    She must have done mock exams so I think her parents should base their decision on this and make it achievable but still quite challenging...

    For example if she got all grade C's in her mocks then saying if she gets 3 or 4 B's in any subjects then she'll get the holiday. But I think they should discuss it with their daughter (after they've discussed themselves) and agree something that she's happy with.

    Also I would have something in mind as a "consolation" prize if they can see that's she tried her hardest but not achieved what they agreed. I wouldn't tell her about it until she's finished her exams because by then it won't make any difference. I would give her a wonderful day out/weekend away doing something she would really enjoy like a balloon ride/driving racing cars/shopping trip with a spending allowance/cottage in Lake District/etc. I think it would be better to tell her after she's finished her exams rather than when she gets her results because it avoids her thinking that you've only just decided to do it if she's not done as well as you all wanted.
    You should never call somebody else a nerd or geek because everybody (even YOU !!!) is an
    "anorak" about something whether it's trains, computers, football, shoes or celebs :p :rotfl:
  • The reward/incentive should never have been a fixed point. It should have been if they gain the grades their teachers think they should get if they put their head down. That way it's not based on who got what, but who got what compared to their ability.
  • I think it's very bad practice for parents to provide a monetary or material reward to a sibling for such achievements, unless they are prepared to reward effort and not just grades.
    I have three kids and all have differing academic abilities, I would never dream of telling one that he/she couldn't have the same as their sibling just because they don't have the exact same ability. It happened in my family and caused some sibling rivalry to say the least.
    Kids should be rewarded for giving it their best - no matter what the result is.
  • My dad offered me monetary reward on a sliding scale for my GCSE's back in 1997... I think he rather underestimated my ability or just didn't think it through as he offered me £100 per A, £75 per B, £50 per C and nothing below that (as at the time anything below a C was not very well regarded by colleges or employers)... However when I handed him my results, 1 A*, 4 A's and 5 B's, the £875 was not forthcoming and my dad hastily backtracked and said it was only payment for my top grade and gave me £150 as we hadn't agreed on an A* payment... bless him! I think he almost had a heart attack when he saw my results!

    Luckily I hadn't worked hard for the money alone as it was important to me to do well anyway (although in hindsight I could easily have worked harder and done better! I seem to have a natural gift for exams and only ever revised for Biology before deciding revision was too 'boring'!! lol!).

    Moral of the story - don't underestimate either your children, or your bank balance! ;-)
  • Popcorn! wrote:
    At GCSE age children are old enough to motivate themselves. If they want to work hard towards their future that should be their choice. If they don't work hard they will face the consequences. Bribing them only adds more pressure from the parents, and the children will feel like they have to do well for their parents and not for themselves.

    I know people at uni who still can't motivate themselves to work for their future so how can all 15/16 year olds? Depends on the individual.

    Many schools already "bribe" students to work well with house points or merits etc etc. It's all about rewarding positive attitudes and not just punishing those with bad attitudes! Most people need a little "push" every now and again.
    Please note: I am NOT Martin Lewis, just somebody else called Martyn that likes money saving!
  • I'm 26 and still have trouble motivating myself
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