MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Should little sis get a holiday too?



  • if i had done this (which i wouldn't), i would say to the next child the more A grades you get, the money you get towards a holiday.

    parents have saved face. oldest doesn't feel like younger has cheated and youngest still gets a good chance of 'winning' some money to a holiday. maybe not as going far as her sister (on holiday), but still a reward for hardwork.
    What goes around - comes around
    give lots and you will always recieve lots
  • sue.b_2
    sue.b_2 Posts: 105 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Children should not be bribed.
  • Most schools will give guidance on what grade each student should obtain - a 'target' grade - if work is put in. Use this as your yardstick - and perhaps offer a 'bonus' for exceeding the target. Unfortunately in this monetised and materialistic world we have ALL created in one way or another, kids these days expect some sort of reward!

    Having given a reward for one sis it will be damaging not to offer it to the other - but gear it to obtainable grades....
  • sue.b wrote:
    Children should not be bribed.

    I totally agree, but since these parents have been daft enough to start it in the first place off course they should give the girl a hol whatever her results. It's the effort that counts not the result.
  • The effort should be rewarded of course! As long as she does her best it is all one can ask! Motivation is the key !!
    Reminds me of a friend who took her daughter to Singapore on holiday for her 21st birthday present, as that was where she was born. I thought that was a lovely idea and so I asked her younger sister where she was born thinking the same treat might apply. With a wry smile she replied Basingstoke!
  • As someone who was 'bribed' i would like to say i felt it was more a 'performance related pay' system.. Back in 1996, when GCSEs were still a bit difficult, I needed 5 C's to get into my local 6th form college. Now, I've got a bit a of a habit of just doing 'what's needed' even though I'm fairly bright.

    So my parents came up with a scheme where I would only be rewarded for excellence - 50 quid per A*. Any grade below C would mean a 50 pound debt. Since i'd only managed to get 1 A* and mostly B's in my mocks, this was quite a challenge

    The 'bribe' was my extra motivation, it set a higher target of achievement than I was planning on working for and made me buckle down a lot harder. They were slightly mean and set me a thousand pound bonus if I could get an A* in Spanish (my worst subject), knowing the work required to gain that grade would degrade my other marks. I think this was a cruel joke, but that's my parents for you.

    In the end, I got 7 A*'s and a C in Spanish :). 350 quid, bonus!

    Yes, little sis should get a holiday, if her parents set realistically tough targets for her (although they should be achievable), although I think that she should still get it even if she misses by a little bit.
  • At GCSE age children are old enough to motivate themselves. If they want to work hard towards their future that should be their choice. If they don't work hard they will face the consequences. Bribing them only adds more pressure from the parents, and the children will feel like they have to do well for their parents and not for themselves.

    But I agree, if the parents have given the first girl a holiday they have to give the second girl one too. The first girl should understand her sister isn't capable of the results she got so she should understand. But the second girl might feel inadequate.
  • As a note, my little bro isn't as 'naturally bright' as I am, but he's far more motivated and hard working (consequentially he's now doing a doctorate in clinical psychology... so he's not stupid either)

    If I remember rightly, his money was based around achieving A's .. turned out he got exactly the same money as I did
  • I think if the parents expect little sis to get less than A's then its almost certain that she wont get A's. Its the makings of a self-fulfilling prophesy. Why should the standards be set as less than with the older sister? even if she has to work harder, she's capable of making the grade.
  • The basis of the holiday shouldn't be the attainment of Straight A's, it's the working hard and putting all the effort in.

    Years ago I had disappointments in one or two of my exams, and my dad always told me that no matter what happens, as long as you go in that exam room, having worked as hard as you can, and prepared to the best of your ability, and you still come out with a poor grade - it doesn't matter, at least you tried your best.

    I then went on to get a 2.1 Degree in IT, 4 Microsoft Certifications, and I'm thinking about a Masters Degree in the future.
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