Problem with sons father.

vik6525

kelloggs36 wrote:

Hold your nerve girl!! What does he earn? How many children does he have in his household?

Somebody said 24k - so I shall use this as a ball park figure.

I'm sure you said that his new gf has 2 kids and they live together?

Based on this, and taking off tax, national insurance and allowing for his 2 other children in his household, he should be paying you 41 pounds per week.

However, if your child stays with him for 1 night per week, deduct 1/7 of this = 35 he should pay. If your child stays 2 nights per week with him, deduct 2/7 = 29.28 per week.

So, he should either pay you 29.28 per week, 35 per week or 41 per week, depending on number of nights child stays with him. DO NOT let him fob you off. If he makes threats, LET HIM AND CALL HIS BLUFF by going to the CSA. He is trying to manipulate you because he doesn't want to pay but he MUST.

Please let us know how you get on. As I am CSA staff (on career break!) please feel free to PM me if he tells you anything to try and put you off again.

He has a girlfriend who lives with him, but theres no other kids involved...

kelloggs36

In which case the amount the CSA would ask for is about 41 pounds. You could ask for 30 as a negotiating point - it is less than the CSA would ask him for. It is a reasonable amount, and if he refuses then he knows he will have to pay even more - so the choice is his!!!

vik6525

Oh you're just amazing! Thank you so much for your advice! xxxx

kelloggs36

Good luck and please keep us informed - it would be interesting to know if he coughs up or just digs his heels in.

vik6525

Hi! Just thought id let you know... went out today with ds and his dad... had a good chat with his dad and we agreed on £30 a week.... thank you all so mcu for your help. you gave me the courage to ask... xxxx

*sandymogs*

vik6525 wrote:

Hi! Just thought id let you know... went out today with ds and his dad... had a good chat with his dad and we agreed on £30 a week.... thank you all so mcu for your help. you gave me the courage to ask... xxxx

Only just read this thread vik, so well done for plucking up the courage to ask for the maintenance and to get the result you are entitled to. :T

Make sure the amount he pays is raised each year, the same as his wages.

kelloggs36

Well done hun!!!!! I'm so pleased that you managed to sort it out. Just make sure he pays though, won't you? if he doesn't, you know that the CSA is an option for you. He won't be that stupid though, I hope!!!

Rachie_B

vik6525 wrote:

Hi! Just thought id let you know... went out today with ds and his dad... had a good chat with his dad and we agreed on £30 a week.... thank you all so mcu for your help. you gave me the courage to ask... xxxx

:beer:

glad you felt able to broach the subject in the end

must be a weight off your mind !

comping_cat

Well done, that must be such a weight off your mind, and the money will be great for your son xx

*Sparkle*_3

Glad to hear you sorted it, how old is your son, if you dont mind me asking?

I'm just very suprised that you havent asked for it eariler, its hard bringing up kids, when they need new trainers or clothes,school trips,etc has your ex never contributed to these things?

If he hasnt surely he should have been putting a regular amount away into a savings account for when he gets older, thats just something you'd want to do for your child isnt it?

I bet your ex was just waiting for you to say something and all this time he's been getting away with it.

best wishes