please delete.

victory

I can't understand it either because surely man or woman it is still unfaithfullness and taking your thoughts feelings and emotions elsewhere , sharing what you should be sharing with the one person that is forever in your life and should be exclusive, hence the marriage bit

Tropez

jtr2803 wrote: »

This is exactly what I was thinking along the lines of, did this notion of being faithful to one person come from the bible? (I honestly don't know but having seen someone quote the 10 commandments it would seem to tie in). Let's face it, history gives a strong indication that Homosexuality and Polygamy were often practised years ago!

I am not saying it is 'right', I don't judge other people because they choose to lead an alternative way of life but the deceit is the ultimate no-no for me.

I'm not sure where the concept of monogamy came from but the spread of religious values may certainly have a bearing on the way societies have developed to accept it as the norm.

There's certainly strong evidence that people have in the past lived in polygamous relationships as some people still do today. I don't think there is a right and wrong way and the relationships of others are largely their business but there is a line, for me, and as you say it is the deceit which would call into question whether she really feels love for her husband.

jayII

victory wrote: »

I can't understand it either because surely man or woman it is still unfaithfullness and taking your thoughts feelings and emotions elsewhere , sharing what you should be sharing with the one person that is forever in your life and should be exclusive, hence the marriage bit

Absolutely!

But equally, (as long as no one is being hurt or injured) I believe that none of us have the right to dictate what other people do in their relationships. I couldn't partake in 'swinging' but it works for some people and I respect their right to choose.

McKneff

It doesn't however mean that they cannot possibly care but they are willing to hurt those feelings and by my own definition of love, you don't willfully hurt someone you love.

This is what I mean, they show such little respect for their partners that they dont even think about what it means, what can happen, it just doesnt occur to them at all, thats the hurtful bit.

Jessie11

Sounds to me like she's probably a lot more likely to be gay than bi

property.advert

Perhaps the guy knows but doesn't worry as it is another female whereas he might be more threatened by her having an affair with another man. If the bisexuality is out of the closet, then he must have known and accepted it before now. Some folk manage to live as a threesome, sharing the same bed. Hardly an unusual thing IMHO.

I wonder if Brad Pitt worries about Angelina Jolie's ex girlfriends ?

DVardysShadow

raven83 wrote: »

... Have a friend who is happily married to ( childhood sweetheart ) perfect family life 2 kids own home everything is as it great.....but....she sometimes indulges in having sex with someone else. Now she always claims that she loves her hubby and loves being a family but at the same time she says ...

No one has mentioned the hypocrisy word.

Unless she has her OH's agreement, she should be weighing up the costs and the needs of the children and making her choice.

onlyroz

Open relationships are perfectly valid as long as all parties are happy with the situation. However, if somebody is willing to sneak around, lie and cheat, then I don't see how it can be true love.

Lotus-eater

I totally understand that you can be in love with 2 people and I also understand that she gets total satisfaction from 2 very different people, but that on their own, they wouldn't totally satisfy her.

I completely get where she is coming from and what she needs.

But.... she is in a marriage, not being single and seeing different people. She made a commitment (either by marriage or an understanding) and unless the person she made the commitment to knows her actions, then she is cheating and that's not fair on her DH or her kids.

CH27

raven83 wrote: »

Ok i should add at this point that the other person is not male. Does that make any difference?

None at all. She is still being unfaithful.
She isn't respecting her husband & their family & it will all end in tears.