please delete.

neverdespairgirl

No, I don't think it's "love" in either sense.

Love to me is about actions as much as words. If you put your husband's emotional, sexual and mental health at risk by treating him with an utter lack of respect, that's not "love" to me.

*max*

I don't think she's in love with her husband anymore, and if she thinks she is, she's just kidding herself. When you are in love with someone, you only think of them, noone else - and you would certainly never do anything to hurt them.

She may "love" her husband, but she has a very odd way of showing it, don't you think?

Saying you "can't help it" is just a cowardly cop out. She wants her cake and eat it too, that's all. It's not love, it's lust. For now all is lovely and rosy, she has her dutiful husband and her children, her home with them. And she has her bit of sex on tap, intimacy and confidence boost with the other man.

All is great and fun and lovely. Until the !!!!!! hits the fan and she loses it all. Because it's going to happen, make no mistake.

neverdespairgirl

raven83 wrote: »

So do you think that she doesnt love her hubby? She always says she does and that he her soul mate etc but i dont buy it because if he was her soul mate surly she would have that connection with him rather than the lover?

I don[t know exactly what she feels. But if her idea of love is to treat the one she loves so badly, that's not my idea of love.

Either way, she's been a selfish cow.

*max*

raven83 wrote: »

So do you think that she doesnt love her hubby? She always says she does and that he her soul mate etc but i dont buy it because if he was her soul mate surly she would have that connection with him rather than the lover?

She's an idiot.

DUTR

raven83 wrote: »

I try not to judge tbh though it has made me think about things.

What you mean you may have an affair as well?
Butdo be mindful she may make tracks on your man at some stage, it happens you know

DUTR

raven83 wrote: »

Ok i should add at this point that the other person is not male. Does that make any difference?

Oh yes, big difference, FF is ok, she should tell the hubby, he may love her even more, wow that is so hot :kisses:

*max*

raven83 wrote: »

Ok i should add at this point that the other person is not male. Does that make any difference?

Nope. Except maybe at least she won't get pregnant.

neverdespairgirl

raven83 wrote: »

Ok i should add at this point that the other person is not male. Does that make any difference?

Nope. None at all.

Tropez

I think it is possible to be in love with more than one person but because of the society in which we live we are conditioned to believe that this is not so but human emotions are far more complex than this and I think it isn't beyond the realms of possibility to feel strong emotional connections with more than one person.

However, I don't think that someone who engages in behaviour knowing that it would hurt someone else is in love with the person that they're willing to hurt.

Elle7

Hmm...it's interesting.

Before you revealed that the other person is female, I was going to say that her husband probably isn't right for her. I believe if she really loved him, and if they were right together, she would get everything she needs from her husband.

The other person being female seems to change that a little, if its physical...although you did say it was an emotional connection she lacked with her husband, so its perhaps still true that she should look for someone who meets all her needs.

If she can't find that, because she needs both female and male attention (I couldn't think of another word to use, I hope this won't seem offensive!) then she should have spoken to her husband. He might well have understood, or tried to help...the way she has gone about it means even if he is okay with it, he'll be hurt that she lied to him and cheated on him, and his trust has been well and truly betrayed. And if she was going to ask him for 'permission' to be with a woman too, trust would be one thing you'd imagine would be absolutely vital.