please delete.

scheming_gypsy

raven83 wrote: »

Ok i should add at this point that the other person is not male. Does that make any difference?

Depends... is it another woman or the family Alsation?

thorsoak

It will all end in tears Her OH "thinks" he is in a stable relationship, her children have a stable home environment; she has "feelings" - no doubt genuine - for a female friend. But what is her OH going to say when it bubbles up to the surface, as it no doubt will?

Does she really think that things will ever be "normal" again?

And what about her friend's feelings?

It will all end in tears

ses6jwg

See her husband wants to get in on the action?

blossomhill_2

More likely she is in love with neither than both
Nor her kids either if they are an age that would be affectd by any potential break up of this "perfect family life"
Maybe loves herself too much

Tropez

raven83 wrote: »

See this is what i was thinking maybe that it is possible, i do believe human emotions are very complex things.

They are. Love is not something that is tangible, it can't be quanitifed in any way and although there are attempts to define love individuals will have their own definition of what love actually is. Some will say it is a longing, some will say it is a desire, some would argue that if you love someone you'd die for them etc.

But within human relationships there are always people who have different ideas about the boundaries of love. Some people separate sex from love and do not consider it unfaithful if their partner has sex with somebody else. Some people live in what we call unconventional relationships where they have both emotional and physical relationships with more than one partner. You can go back in history to find examples of three, four or more people who live together and say that they all love each other.

As a result, as I say, I don't think it is impossible to feel romantic love towards more than one person. Where I personally would draw the line however is to engage in a relationship outside of another relationship without the agreement of all those involved as lying to someone about something that many people place great stock in isn't an example of love to me. It doesn't however mean that they cannot possibly care but they are willing to hurt those feelings and by my own definition of love, you don't willfully hurt someone you love.

*max*

Great post Tropez!

jayII

DUTR wrote: »

I'm sure along the thread someone will say it is ok
She/ we know it is wrong

but it is there twice in the 10 commandments

7 “You shall not commit adultery.

10 “You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.”

I have no doubt about it, someone will say 'her husband should make more effort' yada yada.

I'm not religious, the bible is just a series of interesting stories as far as I'm concerned, but I still think that lying and cheating are very very wrong, unless there is a VERY good objective reason. (Something like life and death or serious injury.)

jtr2803

Tropez wrote: »

I think it is possible to be in love with more than one person but because of the society in which we live we are conditioned to believe that this is not so but human emotions are far more complex than this and I think it isn't beyond the realms of possibility to feel strong emotional connections with more than one person.

However, I don't think that someone who engages in behaviour knowing that it would hurt someone else is in love with the person that they're willing to hurt.

This is exactly what I was thinking along the lines of, did this notion of being faithful to one person come from the bible? (I honestly don't know but having seen someone quote the 10 commandments it would seem to tie in). Let's face it, history gives a strong indication that Homosexuality and Polygamy were often practised years ago!

I am not saying it is 'right', I don't judge other people because they choose to lead an alternative way of life but the deceit is the ultimate no-no for me.

victory

tropez has the right words, who would want to hurt a person they say they are in love with are soul mates, each others best friends and what to thank them for their loyalty, for their love, for their friendship go and do it with someone else?

Great person:D

jayII

raven83 wrote: »

Ok i should add at this point that the other person is not male. Does that make any difference?

Maybe. It depends on the husband's take on things. If he thinks it's okay then she's not doing anything wrong as their relationship is their business.

Some men say they don't mind their wife being unfaithful with another woman. I can't understand it, but we're all different.