am fuming, sorry its a rant

Kay_Peel

I pass school-children and horses obsessively slowly in second gear. So would you if you had been through the ordeal that I was put through.

I was in a line of traffic, braking to a halt at red lights, when a child bounced against my passenger door and cracked his head on the pavement. His friend had pushed him into the road during a playfight. The ambulance crew told me that it was very likely that he would die from the head injury. He was sedated and in a critcal but poorly state for a week and I never slept during that time, thinking of his family. He recovered, I'm glad to say.

Even though there were dozens of witnesses (including the driver of the car behind me who saw everything clearly) I was still breathlysed, my car impounded for a full vehicle examination and I was interviewed under caution. (Standard procedure for a possible fatal accident involving a motor vehicle).

About six months later the mother of the child saw some no-win-no-fee solicitors and tried to sue me. There was no chance of that, in view of the thoroughness of the police investigation and the number of witnesses, but there was a lot of upsetting correspondence to deal with.

All in all, that split second incident hung over me for a year - and I had only been minding my own business, driving carefully at under 5 miles an hour. I pass that bus-stop everyday and the kids are still pushing, shoving, fighting and throwing their bags around. How soon they forget. I never will.

Tropez

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Honestly, what are the chances of a complete stranger stopping and getting out of their vehicle to threaten a couple of school-kids during rush-hour if those kids were doing nothing that affected anyone on the road?

Save your ire for when you know the whole story. If you ever get it.

It happened to me once. I was with a friend in the town centre after school. Neither of us were even messing about. We were just talking when this nut grabbed my collar and threatened me for no reason.

Of course, we all hope these things are a rarity but I wouldn't rule it out.

It is also possible that the man was the father of a kid who is being bullied and perhaps mistook the OPs son for the bully and decided to make a threat.

adelight

i really doubt this bloke is going to remember exactly what the kids looked like and the exact bus stop they were at and be there at the exact same time as your son and get out and do X to him. it's likely they were being typical 12/13yo boys and messing around, like you know when kids stick their fingers up at cars? or stand on the curb or in the road? or run in and out of the road? or throw stuff into the road? of course your son won't admit doing anything bad, kids don't wanna get in trouble! people get very annoyed at kids that age, they can be very inconsiderate and the bloke probably just wanted an effective (if inappropriate) way to get him to behave.

i would just forget about it, it's one of those things that happens growing up.

rachbc

euronorris wrote: »

I don't think it's OK. Definitely not the pushing part, IF it happened like that. But I do think it is understandable for someone to react in such a manner IF they nearly crashed (or perhaps even run over the OP's son) due to the careless and dangerous actions of a child. I can very clearly remember my Mum's response the time I ran off in a car park and got lost as a kid. There was screaming, shouting, telling off and a smack on the bum for that one. And I've since learned that she reacted so strongly because she was sooo terrified that she'd lost me, or that someone had taken me.

Not right, but understandable. Not the kids own fault, but a likely outcome that he should be aware of, and not shielded from.

And for that reason, I think that ferrying the son to and from school would be an over reaction to the situation.

A mum shouting at their own child in fear is totally different from a random stranger doing it, its unacceptable for a 11 year boy to be pushed by an adult - adults are suppossed to know better!

euronorris

rachbc wrote: »

A mum shouting at their own child in fear is totally different from a random stranger doing it, its unacceptable for a 11 year boy to be pushed by an adult - adults are suppossed to know better!

Why? If it is wrong for a stranger to do it, it should be wrong for a parent too. There's no difference in this instance - both adults would be terrified and upset at the potential harm that could've come to the child, themselves and others.

Like I said, not acceptable, but understandable. Just because I understand it, doesn't mean I agree with it.

pollypenny

rachbc wrote: »

I can't beleive most people seem to think its ok for a adult man to push, threaten and intimdate a young boy and that it was probably his own fault if it did happen

I can envisage a scenario where lads are pushing and shoving each other in fun and one is pushed on to the road - having a near miss from the car driver.

Surely it's better for the lads to have a another fright by being told off by a driver, who himself has has an hell of a fright!

Kids mess about - it's normal! And accidents can be caused, serious ones.

Kay Peel's story is one we need to take head of.

Teddy_KGB

What I don't understand is if the boy did something to provoke the man in the van, why call the police/tell school?

When I was a kid if I did something wrong and got told off by a stranger the last thing I would want is my parents to find out. He obviously knows right from wrong so if he threw a stone at a car/van why would you want anyone to find out about it and get punished?

If he did do something wrong, then he would only tell someone if he was scared of what this stranger did (which does sound OTT).

PinkLipgloss

IMO if they had been playing chicken or something else equally irresponsible, then they would try to hush it up - not get the police involved which will obviously expose the facts.....

ETA - cross post with Teddy - same thoughts!

sashadesade

I can't help but wonder if something provoked the van driver too. We've had kids throw things at/run out in front of our car. One time some young kids ran across the road and threw a glass bottle under the wheels of our car and my husband couldn't swerve to avoid it or he would have hit them. He wanted to get out and give them a piece of his mind but I stopped him because I knew if he did the kids would probably run and tell their parents that a man yelled at them for no reason and it would only bring us a heap of trouble.

I'm not saying your son did anything wrong, just that I wouldn't be so quick to condemn the driver without knowing the facts.

mirrorimage0

right so the story i have got is that both the boys were mucking around inside the bus stop punching each other (for some strange reason) the man who my boy says looked around 50 stopped the van shouted at him and pushed him in to the bus stop, the boys are both sticking to their story and are adament they was not mucking around in the road or throwing stuff just hitting each other. maybe the man thought this wrong or looked more serious than it was.

anyway the police arent coming over tonight as they are too busy so we have to go to the station over the weekend to make a statement and go from there. i would just like to know why from the mans point of view