Worse of Boyfriend Moving in

zoezoe_3

I cant see what you are moaning about

1) You and your partner have two children to support so yes you will find things a little tight. Children can be expensive and they cant all be raised by the state.

2) You were not better off as a single mum your houshold income has raised by 20k - it is down to you how you decide to split it.

3) You will be getting around £500 a year in tax credits and £30 a week between you for childbenefit (including the child who does not live with you). Your little darlings will cost the state in terms of educating and health care. What else do you want ?

4) you should be asking your partner to share his money with you and not the state to pay you more.

Spendless

sexy fu-fu Since you will no longer qualify for help with nursery via tax credits have you considered using childcare vouchers to fund your nursery costs? Ask your employer is they do them/will start doing them. You can salary sacrifice upto £55 a week in exchange for the vouchers and they are tax and NI free.


I think your OH will be able to do the same even if he is not the childs Dad as long as you live in same house but I'm not 100% sure so check this out.

I stand by my earlier comments of you need to speak to your bf about finances. It doesn't sound fair to me that he is moving into your place which *could* give him a share of the equity should you split, but he isn't sharing his wages more equally with you.

kelloggs36

As you are not paying through CSA, has he checked on the calculator what he should be paying now that his circumstances have changed? If not, he needs to do this as he could pay a bit less - people may think it unfair on the PWC looking after his children, but if he were to pay via CSA then there would be a reduction made to his assessment. If he pays a bit less then there won't be any point still in his ex going to CSA as they will just assess him the same as he has worked out. It may save you a bit of money.

Once your children are 3 years old, they should qualify for some free nursery education - 5 sessions per week, thus reducing your contribution quite a bit. Hang on in there, it's only a short time that it will be like this but it is a sacrifice that we all have to make when we have children and work.

lewt

force him to sign something that says he wont be allowed to have half if you spilt. that should start off the relationship nicely.

kelloggs36

Let me get this straight - 1200 pounds per month for nursery fees and household bills.

Household income: 1126.66 your monthly income net + CSA from your ex = 1326.66 + 1200 bf income - 300 CSA to his ex + 120 per month child benefit + 45 Child Tax Credits per month. Total monthly income = 2191.61 net income per month.

2191.61 - 1200 = 991.66 pounds per month left over.

Do your household bills cover everything including housing costs eg rent/mortgage? If so, then I envy you. I wish I had nearly a grand left over per month to live on.

If I have got this wrong, please put me right and explain? By these calculations you can easily afford to live without any extra money. Did you have this much left over before? You are no longer considered a single person with children, you are seen as a family unit and the total household income MUST be looked at and taken into consideration.

If your current bf wishes to keep his money for himself and will not see himself as a family unit, then perhaps you need to reconsider your position with him? Are you saying that he will pay 50% towards all bills etc, but you are unhappy that you are left with less money for yourself then he is? If so, you need to think about what you really want. Do you really want to have a 50/50 split of income and outgoings? In which case can you not negotiate a joint account and then you both have 50% of what is left over to spend as you like. If he won't do this, then this appears to be the issue, and not whether you should be entitled to more money from the state because clearly you shouldn't be on that income.

Morglin

Duplicated

Morglin

I think the some posters should think themselves lucky that they weren't bringing up kids in the 70's............no nursery costs, no tax credits...........we had to pay it all (single or a couple).

To live as a couple is often more expensive than to live singly - but then again, money is not the most important thing in life, is it?

I cannot see why the taxpayer is having to pay anything for children to attend nursery - if they go, then the parents should pay the cost.

On £50k+ a year salary, they should be able to pay for their own children's nursery places.

Nanny state gone mad.:mad:

Lin

lottee

Morglin wrote:

I cannot see why the taxpayer is having to pay anything for children to attend nursery - if they go, then the parents should pay the cost.
Lin

Totally, but I hate the fact that some get it & others dont, based on salary intake. My OH & I both work, hence being taxpayers also, but we say so earn too much to be entitled to anything apart from the funded sessions, since our son turned 3, which is a great help. Don't know where we used to find the money before then!

Spendless

lottee wrote:

Totally, but I hate the fact that some get it & others dont, based on salary intake. My OH & I both work, hence being taxpayers also, but we say so earn too much to be entitled to anything apart from the funded sessions, since our son turned 3, which is a great help. Don't know where we used to find the money before then!

lottee-have you ever looked into the childcare vouchers I mentioned before. We don't qualify for nursery help via tax credits either, but using childcare vouchers was a big saving to us. Sorry going O/T a bit.

black-saturn

I'd love to meet any single parent who was better off than someone in a couple :rolleyes: Bet they are few and far between.