Step daughter's wedding - Who pays?

Louise03

Am I being a wicked stepmonster or is she being unreasonable?


Probably abit of both. You do sound very bitter and people are only making a judgement on your side of the story.

NAR

She has two parents - tell her to get her mum to fund half the wedding!

shellsuit

Louise03 wrote: »

Am I being a wicked stepmonster or is she being unreasonable?


Probably abit of both. You do sound very bitter and people are only making a judgement on your side of the story.

In what way does she sound bitter?

She's already said her husband offered his daughter a 4 figure sum but she turned her nose up at that.

I'm not making a judgement on the Op's side of the story, anyone who expects someone else to pay for their wedding is taking the P.

BitterAndTwisted

I would advise your husband from the sidelines but any discussions about the money should be between father and daughter only.

Perhaps a shot across the bows to the effect that if she doesn't think Daddy's contribution is lavish enough it could be completely withdrawn and the couple will have to finance their dream wedding somehow on their own.

big5

We saved up to pay for our wedding. Our parents offered to pay for certain things (dress, cake, etc) which was appreciated, although we weren't reliant on their contributions.

Expecting the father of the bride to foot the bill for everything is very old-fashioned and if the bride-to-be is dictating what her father should pay for and having a strop when he says no, I think that is really quite rude.

pimento

Even Bernie Ecclestone was shocked at the cost of his daughter's wedding.

adelight

Sounds like one of those spoilt bridezillas like on don't tell the bride! She's being unreasonable. Talk to your OH and agree on a fixed amount you will give her (i'm assuming it's "shared money" between you two) and let him break the news to her.
IMO, if someone isn't mature enough to grasp that people spend money they earned how they want to, then they're not mature enough to get married!

Fuzzy_Duck

I'm the same age as your stepdaughter and I'm appalled by what a stroppy, spoilt little cow she is. I'd be tempted to do what crazyguy suggests, but it's probably better coming from her father if she's low enough to comment on how you spend your money.

You know it won't last anyway as she cares more about 'her special day' than the man she's actually marrying.

Caroline_a

I would say that the whole wedding fiasco now is just a huge money-making thing. Dresses costing thousands and thousands, 'favours', flowers for everywhere, exotic honeymoons, etc etc etc. I have been married twice, once in a church, and once in a registry office. Both were planned on us paying for everything - my parents gave us a deposit for a house first time round (yeah yeah, houses were loads cheaper then!), and the second time they gave us a cheque towards the reception. However... had they given us nothing then we would have had the same wedding!

I do think that with themed weddings, exotic location weddings, etc etc, it just brings out the bonkers element of some people!

OP, maybe to DSD a word.... 'sorry dear, we're off round the world next year, that's all we can afford'... cheeky mare!

adamantine

NAR wrote: »

She has two parents - tell her to get her mum to fund half the wedding!

exactly what i was going to say! back in the day, weddings were funded by the brides PARENTS not the father alone as divorce was very very uncommon if it happened at all! tell her to go to her mother and get her to pay for it!

my parents paid for my wedding but it was a tiny affair with only them and my now-ex-hubby. i never asked them to. i asked my dad to price up the wedding (it was in vegas) as i was working and he was off for the date we wanted and the next thing i knew he called to say it was booked and paid for!

if i get married again (huge huge huge IF) i wouldnt expect anyone other than me and fiance to pay for the wedding.

why not offer to pay for her dress or the meal or the actual ceremony and nothing else?