Shocked and desperately need advice!

Little_Miss_Winner

Hiya and welcome to mse.

Whilst it must have been a terrible shock to you, i don't really understand this statement;-

Thanks for all your helpful replies! I don't think I'm ever going to get to the bottom of where the money's all gone plus part of me is too scared by what I may discover

I am sorry, but if the shoe was on the other foot, i'm sure you husband would want to know how you had managed to rack up such a debt? Wer'e not talking a couple of hundred quid here, we're talking £50,000.00 !
Surely he has got all the credit card statements, i think firstly before you decide what you are going to do to start paying the debts back, you need to find out how EXACTLY they were run up, and what the money was spent on.

Why are you scared what you'll discover? What do you think he has spent it on? Surely in being together 7 years you must have some sort of incling?

Apologies in advance if this post is a bit harsh, but until you find the root cause of this spending, it will only happen again, and again, and again.....


hugs to you
pot
xx

dizzydaydream

Re: SOA Any extra expences - birthdays, christmas etc I pay for. Going out? What's that! Have just joined the 'clicking' sites so will hopefully get a bit more coming in soon! Will definitely follow all your advice, you're all wonderful!

miggy

Hi there,
What a shock for you, but I do admire the way you are dealing with this.
I'm not an expert but there are plenty of people here who really know the ins and outs of debt management and will give you good advice.
I wanted to second what people have said about claiming tax credits. I have three kids and the extra money has been enormously helpful.
Also - five kids and one of them newborn - now is the time for you to look after yourself. I know it will be tempting for you to try and do more to help but such a lot hinges on your health.
With a view to this, could you rope the kids in to help? (If they aren't already.) Perhaps they could 'pay' for their acting classes by doing a few jobs for you, things don't have to be done perfectly but it will still save you time and effort, even if it's just doing the dishes or hoovering round. Explain to them that you are trying to be good with money or something and they can help. Honestly, what they can free up in your time will be worth its weight in gold.
(I should warn you that having talked to our kids about overdrafts, being careful with money and so on, I have learned I should have also told them only to discuss money at home. A few times one of them has said something embarrassing about how much money we don't have, in public! LOL)
I also don't see that your Mum's money should go towards your husband's debt - for a start it's not going to teach him how to avoid getting into more debt in the future, and also, as you say, it's too close to the heart for you. If after thinking about it, though, you decide you want to use some of it to help him, I suggest you first set aside something towards some nice way to remember your Mum - a bit towards the children's futures, a rose tree in the garden - whatever you think.
Anyway best of luck with it all, you are in the right place here, and take care of yourself.

spendthrift66

Hello Dizzydaydream and everyone else! This is my first post ... even though I have 'lurked' around this site for a couple of years. I hope this isn't hijacking the thread, but I'd just like to ask a question about CCCS. I have just quit my job, through stress and ill health, so am starting a temp job on Monday which will pay about half of what I was earning. I went on the CCCS website yesterday (after years of getting in and out of trouble with consols and more ccs etc) and within an hour I had an offer of a debt management plan for myself and partner and a budget. So far so good. I know you can't get credit whilst on the plan ... but does it affect credit rating for ever? I thought they were amazingly helpful and very efficient ... but is it too good to be true? Please let me know if I am supposed to start a new thread for this? Many thanks.

dancingfairy

Hi Spendthrift and wlcome too :hello: . Probably best to start your own thread so people will be able to help and not clutter up this thread too much as well.

all_hours

spendthrift66 wrote:

Hello Dizzydaydream and everyone else! This is my first post ... even though I have 'lurked' around this site for a couple of years. I hope this isn't hijacking the thread, but I'd just like to ask a question about CCCS. I have just quit my job, through stress and ill health, so am starting a temp job on Monday which will pay about half of what I was earning. I went on the CCCS website yesterday (after years of getting in and out of trouble with consols and more ccs etc) and within an hour I had an offer of a debt management plan for myself and partner and a budget. So far so good. I know you can't get credit whilst on the plan ... but does it affect credit rating for ever? I thought they were amazingly helpful and very efficient ... but is it too good to be true? Please let me know if I am supposed to start a new thread for this? Many thanks.

Hi spendthrift,

You'll get more advice if you start your own thread.

If won't affect your credit rating for ever - you'll get late payments and defaults recorded on your credit report. The defaults stay there for 6 years from the date of issue. The late payments drop off after 3 years.

Wannabesaver_4

hi there - If you contact the CCCS and enlist their help i think there is quite a bit that could do to help you out! They might say (dont quote me) that the £21,000 woudl be accepted by the creditors as settlement figure - thus clearing the whole debt. Worth a try anyway.

I woudl def call the CCCS - they are amazing and very helpful! they will rest your mind at ease!

Good luck x

SSB

Hi
:j Congratulations on your new baby! I cannot believe that you are able to manage such a large family, loss of your mum, suddenly discovered debts and still sound so incredibly sane.

I agree with misspoppy, do not use all of your inheritance since this is the only safety net you have. There is no way of knowing how responsible your husband will be regarding these debts until he starts to sort them out himself. He will benefit greatly from your support, however it will not necessarily tackle the root cause of it.

Contact Child Tax benefit office, if there are any problems with the overpayments, contact CAB. We deal with tax credits every week. Good luck with it all.

Pobby

I understand the emotional bit regarding your inheritance.I also was in a similar situation having inherited a house and money from my Mum.At the time we had a large mortgage and a failing business which owed 10s of thousands of pounds.We had little equity at the time.It really hurt me to pay creditors out of my Mums hard earned money.

However some 7 years later I am sitting in a smaller house but with no mortgage{big downsize}.Also nearly every penny that I had to pay out is back in my bank account due to getting a well paid job and heavy savings.

I comforted myself by thinking that my Mum would have seen it as a wise thing to do to get out of debt.

Debt_Free_Chick

dizzydaydream wrote:

Income

Husband's Salary - £1500 flat without OT but OT available
My Salary -£0 at mo' but when I am working varies from £100 - £800
Other - £257.50
Child benefit - £210 (not including newborn yet!)
DLA - £176.60
TOTAL - £2144.10

Out goings

Northern Rock Mortgage - £920
Council Tax - £106
Gas & Electricity Powergen - £87
Sky tv & phone - £56.65
BT line rental - £11.50
Wanadoo Broadband - £17.99
Tesco Dog Insurance - £13.94
Repair Protection - £7.50 (don't know what it's protecting! Will find out!)
Centrepoint House Insurance - £31.58
American Life Insurance - £4.95
Charity - £16.00 (Definitey going!)
Magazine subscription - £1.50
L & G Assce Insurance - £68.98
Kids' Performing Arts Classes - £180
Shopping - £400
Petrol for 2 cars - £150 (need both as hubby works shifts)
Car Insurance - £70 (total guess-both paid in full)
Mobile phones - £100 (mine & kids are payasyougo, hubby on contract)
School trips/swimming etc - £20
Cigarettes - £100 (He'll have to quit)
Work snacks/food - £70 (:eek:)
TOTAL - £2433.59

Ignoring the debts and savings, you are running up new debt every month as you spend more than the amount coming in.

Even if you could magically make the debts disappear, then you would immediately start running up new debt. So you simply MUST trim that budget by £300 for starters.

Let's then assume that you use the inheritance to pay off some of the debts. You still need to trim even more off your budget in order to make the minimum repayments on the debts not cleared.

Put simply, you've got to trim that budget by about £1,000. The current debts are approx £50,000 which require repayments of £1317. So if you use the inheritance to clear £20k you'd be left with debts of £30k. On a rough pro-rata, you would need minimum repayments of £790.

So ... you need to trim your spending by £300 to get it on budget and then by a further £800 to finance your remaining debt.

Bear in mind, that making the minimum payments only is unlikely to clear the debts. In fact, they will probably increase unless you can get some balance transfer deals. So whilst you need about £800 to pay the debts, that would be the minimum payments only and would only be a temporary measure before you get more problems.

Back to your budget - you need to trim about £1,000 off your expenditure - or find £1,000 a month extra income :eek:

Hubby will need to do overtime every time it's offered to him. Is there any going at the moment?

Can you do anything from home? Take in ironing?

Selling stuff on ebay is OK, but it's not regular income, unless you have tons of stuff to sell and you manage to shift it month-in, month-out. Otherwise, ebay sales are just a one-off "windfall".

Your regular monthly position with no debts is not healthy. With even a tiny amount of debt, it's precarious - unless you address the spending and/or generate more income. Don't fanny about looking at where the money went just now - leave that for later. You must address your monthly budget first; pay off what you can from savings/inheritance and then address the minimum repayments on the remaining debt.

I hear what you say about the kids' performing arts classes, but you actually don't have the money to pay this. Every time you pay it, you are increasing your debts :eek:

If you can repost the debts with the APR, we can suggest the ones to pay off with the inheritance. Once they're paid off, we can look at restructuring the other debts using balance transfers and life of balance cards.

HTH