parents evening/exes gf issues!!!

Ziggazee

It seems clear that the ex is telling each woman something different here.

It also appears to me that the OP may still be a little bitter about the breakup. Bottom line is the ex now has a new partner, and a new family life. I'm not saying that he should forget his old family (far from it!!!) but I wouldn't have thought it appropriate for him to be getting together with the ex for whatever reason (even concerning the children). I see no reason why they can't have separate parents evening appointments.

thatgirlsam

Ziggazee wrote: »

It seems clear that the ex is telling each woman something different here.

It also appears to me that the OP may still be a little bitter about the breakup. Bottom line is the ex now has a new partner, and a new family life. I'm not saying that he should forget his old family (far from it!!!) but I wouldn't have thought it appropriate for him to be getting together with the ex for whatever reason (even concerning the children). I see no reason why they can't have separate parents evening appointments.

It will be appropriate for the children in certain circumstances though - You can't have seperate sports days, school plays etc

make_me_wise

At the end of the day why is it so important that you go to the parents evening together? As long as you do both regularly go and catch up with your childs teacher and keep up to date with her targets and abilities, that is what matters.

It is pretty irrelevant in the big scheme of things whether you see the teacher at the same time. If there was a problem or issue that needed resolving with your childs education you could discuss this between you.

Your ex seems to be with an extremely insecure individual. Who wouldn't be insecure with your ex. She knows he is capable of shagging someone else behind his wifes back whilst she is pregnant. I bet she doesn't like him out of her sight. Hardly the foundations for a happy relationship is it. If their relationship develops and they marry she knows deep down that all she will be doing is creating a vacancy.

Focus your energies on you and your daughter. The exs' gf isn't worth a second thought hun.

shiprob195

At least the OPs ex is interested in the childs education. My Ex H couldn't care less. He has our 2 DS overnight once a week. I inform him of all events at school and all hosp appts (DS2 has ongoing ENT issues)...He has never attended in 2 1/2 yrs

Ziggazee

It will be appropriate for the children in certain circumstances though - You can't have seperate sports days, school plays etc

Well no, but my point is there is no need for them to go "together".

thatgirlsam

Ziggazee wrote: »

Well no, but my point is there is no need for them to go "together".

I agree, but you said 'for whatever reason, even concerning the children'

I was just thinking that for certain things it would be nice for the children to have both parents there

I guess they could still attend events like school plays and not have to sit together

There are divorced or seperated parents at school who don't sit next to each other - Mind, you could cut the atmosphere with a knife!

Sensible_Jess

OP
FWIW, I think your intentions were good but it's clear your ex doesn't want to go to parents evening together. He seems to be dressing this up to you as 'my GF won't let me', but I bet the story he's spinning her (GF) is that you're trying to get him to go with you as some kind of warped way of 'getting him back'. :sigh:

What a catch! Sounds like you're better off without him and the fantasy world he lives in. Hope you enjoy parents evening and in future, he can make his own appointments!

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Will happily go to his funeral though. Will bring me dancing shoes an' all. For when DD has left the crem, obviously :whistle:

This made me laugh out loud! I needed that today, thank you JoJo:T

scheming_gypsy

Sensible_Jess wrote: »

OP
FWIW, I think your intentions were good but it's clear your ex doesn't want to go to parents evening together. He seems to be dressing this up to you as 'my GF won't let me', but I bet the story he's spinning her (GF) is that you're trying to get him to go with you as some kind of warped way of 'getting him back'. :sigh:

What a catch! Sounds like you're better off without him and the fantasy world he lives in. !

didn't you make up his fantasy world with the first part of your post?

you decided what he was thinking and what he was telling his bird.

ilikewatch

If your children spend a reasonable amount of time with your ex partner, then I think it makes a lot of sense for him to attend parents evening with his girlfriend - there is a real possibility that she will become the childrens stepmother in time, and will probably have just as much of a role in their upbringing as your ex partner - as such it makes a lot of sense for her to be taking an interest in their education at this point. I do agree with other posters that your ex partner sounds like a bit of a wimp though, he should have clearly told you that he would not be going with you as he wishes to go with his new partner.

FBaby

Ziggazee wrote: »

It seems clear that the ex is telling each woman something different here.

It also appears to me that the OP may still be a little bitter about the breakup. Bottom line is the ex now has a new partner, and a new family life. I'm not saying that he should forget his old family (far from it!!!) but I wouldn't have thought it appropriate for him to be getting together with the ex for whatever reason (even concerning the children). I see no reason why they can't have separate parents evening appointments.

I find this incredibly sad. If you chose to have children together, surely you should be able to cope to being with your children's other parent once in a while without feeling like the world is ending. As for the new partners, if they feel so insecure with that idea, something is very wrong with the relationship.

My parents divorced when I was 2 years old, didn't remain friends, but were civil to each other and would certainly not make a fuss if they had to get together for school events etc... My step-mum didn't like it, but she was incredibly insecure. Still, my dad made it clear that he wanted to be able to show me that he could spend 5 minutes with my mum without feeling guilty... and the thing is... as a kid it meant everything to me. I didn't care that my parents didn't live together, I could imagine it anyway, but I did care very much that I could share important events in my life with both of them, who I both loved equally at the same time.

Because of my personal experience, it is important that the same can happen with my kids. Unfortunately, their dad has never shown an interest in going to parents' evening. It is such a pity because it is such a massive booster to go as I always receive wonderful compliments. This past one was particularly important because we have moved to a new town, with my new partner, and the kids started a new school. Normally, the kids tell their dad things as they are old enough to do so, but on that occasion, I bothered to email him to let him know about the dates. He thanked me for it, but clearly decided not to go. So my partner did come instead. My boy was very happy with this, they get along brilliantly, but I still find it strange that his own dad wasn't there. His choice though.