parents evening/exes gf issues!!!

KateBob

zoesmummy_2006 wrote: »

From what i gather the gf doesnt particularly like me, though i have no idea why.

It's a method of dealing with the guilt, she's turned you into the bad guy so she doesn't have to deal with what she did!

Of course you don't know what your ex has said to her about you :eek:

thatgirlsam

zoesmummy_2006 wrote: »

I wanted to meet her as soon when he wanted to introduce her to the kids, which was literally within a couple of weeks, but he refused to let me, has always said that its none of my business. im thinking he's more scared of what i could tell her about what he's said to me regarding wanting to come back to me, the 'happy wedding anniversary' messages he sent after leaving me to be with her, and the worst thing i've ever heard about leaving her and the baby before born and having nothing to do with either of them. From what i gather the gf doesnt particularly like me, though i have no idea why.

Because you are a big threat to her

My ex used to compare me to his ex if we argued - Oh **** wouldn't have behaved like that' '**** wouldn't say or do that' ' why can't you be more like ****'

Its horrible and it made me hate her!

I met her after we split up and he did exactly the same thing to her about the ex he had before her!

I get on with her now

Anyways, he probably does the same thing to her - She is probably fed up of hearing how perfect you are!

pigpen

At least he is interested enough in his daughter that he is making the effort to even go to parents evening.. Many dads dont go even when the parents live together.

So long as you go does it really matter whether he goes or not or what time?

Oldernotwiser

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

I'm guessing the girlfriend is tagging along as well

Not if he tells her he's going to the pub though.;)

thatgirlsam

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Not if he tells her he's going to the pub though.;)

He is probably not allowed there either

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

The voice of experience here....


DD (now 18)

The ex is a violent, abusive &&&& who got away with all that he did through using his nice, middle class, hippy boy persona. Well, other than abducting DD as a 9 month old and not returning her for 4 years. Cheers to the judge that said, well he shouldn't have done it, but now he's been in hiding for nearly a year whilst waiting for court dates, it's too late to change things now. She came back at age 5.


I detest him. There is no way I could ever forgive him for the many things he did to us. If he was on fire, I wouldn't xxxx on him, I'd go and get some nice juicy steaks and chuck them over his militant vegan (but gorging dairy products on the sly) carcasse.

But, we have sat together (albeit a little unwillingly) on concerts, shows, plays and the like. I have ordered him enough tickets (where there hasn't been a limit, because myself and DD2 got them and tough luck) so that he can go and bring his demented witch mother, his daft as a brush and quite possibly brainwashed wife, his rather nice bloke father or anyone else he so feels fit to drag down to show what a great father he is to support every penny I spent on her, the time dealing with her screaming he was coming to get her, the terror of eating because he taught her all food mummy has is poison, the dance lessons to help her feel confident about her body, the music, all those things he had no involvement in, but was more than happy to take credit for.

We never went to parents' evening together. EVER.

Until she was at college. That was cosy. Him, his wife, DD. Lovely. And then the college drop the bombshell that she hasn't been in for more than a few days (because she has been going to her boyfriend's house every morning after leaving for college) and hasn't done any work. So I had to sit whilst they made lame excuses about how she suffers having to travel, how they will make every effort to assist (except for him getting out of bed to give her a lift to college, as he doesn't work) and all the guff that passive aggression in public entails. When I know full well she's been a lying little mare who has decided that a boy who tells her not to wash or wear nice clothes is worth more than her future. A public row over this would not have been appropriate.


You can't talk freely with a complete &&&&&&&&& sitting next to you, especially when he says grandly 'Ah yes, we know all about THAT' or (some of the earlier ones a primary teacher repeated to me) 'We all know that school reading schemes aren't worth the paper they're printed on' - and the last thing you need to be tarred with the same brush when he says something spectacularly stupid such as 'how dare you make my child sit next to an African child, I'm going to sue the lot of you when she gets tuberculosis from goat sacrifice blood' or 'you cannot take photos of my child as it's not vegan and I don't want her spirit to be tainted by flesh at your hands'.



By all means grit your teeth if he shows up with girlfriend in tow. But don't do parents' evening together.

gratefulforhelp_2

jojo makes a good, if terrifying, point.

pigpen

jojo.. can you change your name to Jojo the Battleaxe? ... I do love you.. and I would publicly humiliate such a KH who would say such things in front of me and openly sneer at their stupidity in my equally passive aggressive manner lol..

(I was bad when the diabetic nurse was taking DS3s detail. KH came in spying and I said oh dont worry it is stuff you woudnt know like his birth date, gestation, fave toys/hobbies/food etc.. The nurse thought I was being vindictive [which I fully intended] until she experienced him knowing nothing about his son for herself )

ebayqueen_2

Hi there
I am so sorry about the way you have been treated by your ex. I would not go to the parent night with him. Definitely not. Parent/teacher meetings are not the be all and end all of life. I am married 20 odd years and could count on my hand the number of times my husband has attended them.

They normally start at 4 in the evening when he is currently slogging his guts out so he can feed and clothe his kids. As long as one parent is there and knows what is going on that is plenty. His statements are always something like : 'Well are you happy with the way things are'. 'I trust your instinct'

I don't feel the need for him to accompany me simply as it one big spiel. Teachers dread the pair of parents who will sit for ages asking questions they probably know the answer of before they actually attend. If there is any problem with a child at school, it can be communicated with either parent via email, phone call etc.

I know so many teachers who dread parent/teacher night and proclaim it a waste of their time.

I wouldn't lower myself to be polite to that man when your children are not around. Certainly in front of them do your best to be civil and good mannered as I can see from your posts you most definitely are. Sod him. If he wants to see the teacher let him get another appointment if he 'can't' go with you.

Plus with respect, don't make him too welcome in your home. I know you have 2 children together but he is not your friend. I hope I don't sound harsh. Get on with your life .... meet him when you have to and SOD HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish you every happiness with your children. They will grow up knowing what a good mam you have been and that is your main priority.

As for that woman. She will live in doubt for many years because she knows how naturally deceitful he is.

Take care
E

zoesmummy_2006

I was just trying to be reasonable with him, i'd made an appointment which happened to co-incide with his collecting the kids-not at all intentional, i didnt think about it until a good few hours later, and then just thought sod it, rather than change the time i'll ask if he wants to come with me. He always said when he left that we were parents first and foremost and that the kids come first, hence why i asked him if he wanted to come with me. Oh well, I shall go and enjoy hearing what a delightful and bright child my daughter is-cant wait!!! she is my pride and joy-along with ehr brother!!!