Divorce - Is this fair?!

LittleMrsThrifty

You need a new solicitor.

AndrewSmith

dearlouise wrote: »

I can't remove him from the house without his agreement, as the property is mortgaged.

.

It will be the lender that decides this also, They may decide not to transfer the mortgage to being joint between you and your mum unless your joint financial situation fits their underwriting criteria.

I know it's a ridiculous situation however because there is no equity you are not actually transferring anything except the debt on the property and are reducing the number of people they have accountable for the debt. I know you may have already spoken to the lender about this and it may be fine, just giving you a quick heads up in case you haven't.

Person_one

OP, I don't think you are coming across as angry, just matter of fact. Maybe its just that you have a different written communication style to many on here and its impossible to read tone over the internet!

I understand about the cats, I would live off tesco value beans in a shed before let my healthy animals die. It might not be a bad idea though to think about finding new homes for the four that aren't on medication, don't worry about their separation issues, there may well be experienced owners happy to work on that. Have you looked into getting the medication online? You can ask for the prescription from your vet and pay a lot less that way.

I really do feel for you, what an awful situation to be in at 25 when you should be carefree and enjoying life. I hope you find a way out.

CH27

Box his two cats up & deposit them where he is living.

How long before the finances are settled in court?

milliemonster

I think one of the problems you have is that until this gets to court and is settled one way or another, then irrespective of what you both personally agreed regarding how you would split all the debt between you both in a way which is fair, legally you are both responsible for repayment of all the joint debts, this means in reality that your ex can do as he has done, just shirk his responsibility and dump the whole lot on your shoulders, yes this isn't fair but for whatever reason he has decided that shredding his credit rating is the preferred option to paying back what he owes and leaving you to pick up the pieces. I may be wrong here but I also can't see how even if this got to court the courts would get involved in who takes on which debt, I would think they would only decide on who gets which asset and as neither of you have any assets to split (the house is in severe neg equity so can't be considered an asset at this time) then they won't get involved in your disputes over who takes on which debt.

If your ex doesn't want to pay towards the debts anymore that aren't solely in his name, then unfortunately these will fall to you to pay, there is nothing you can do about that regardless of how unfair it is, if you can't afford to pay them then this leaves you with options as already suggested to cut back further or increase your income to repay the debts, if this doesn't seem feasible either then you would have to look at other options such as a DMP, IVA or bankruptcy, a DMP or IVA would protect your mother with respect to your house, bankruptcy obviously wouldn't. You are stuck between a rock and a hard place here and I do wonder if your solicitor being unhelpful is because he's not giving you the answers you want?

Fizzpop

Why not sit down and talk to your mum about going bankrupt, that way you could explain to her that they will chase her for the mortgage but if she sets up a dd/so then you will give her the money every month so she doesnt have to worry.

The rest they will chase your ex for

silvercar

Fizzpop wrote: »

Why not sit down and talk to your mum about going bankrupt, that way you could explain to her that they will chase her for the mortgage but if she sets up a dd/so then you will give her the money every month so she doesnt have to worry.

The rest they will chase your ex for

Unfortunately bankruptcy doesn't work like this. You cannot favour one creditor over another. So paying your mother would not be allowed.

carolan78

silvercar wrote: »

Unfortunately bankruptcy doesn't work like this. You cannot favour one creditor over another. So paying your mother would not be allowed.

She could pay her Mum rent though could she not? We're not talking about the 9k credit card here we are talking about the mortgage on the house and if she was to lose the house totally then she would have to pay rent elsewhere anyway so I don't see how it could be considered as favouring a creditor.

Fizzpop

silvercar wrote: »

Unfortunately bankruptcy doesn't work like this. You cannot favour one creditor over another. So paying your mother would not be allowed.

Thanks for that i didnt know..

carolan78 wrote: »

She could pay her Mum rent though could she not? We're not talking about the 9k credit card here we are talking about the mortgage on the house and if she was to lose the house totally then she would have to pay rent elsewhere anyway so I don't see how it could be considered as favouring a creditor.

This is what i was thinking more along the lines of just she put it better lol

RAS

dearlouise wrote: »

In that case at the moment I'm being lumbered with 100% of all assets and debt.

Yes

That is the meaning of joint and several liability.

Your husband is also "lumbered with 100% of all assets and debt".

It is for the financial settlement associated with the divorce to divi up who bears what loss.

Stop seeing yourself as the victim and you will make far more headway.

He is a loser by the sounds of things and a bully but that does not make you a victim.