Divorce - Is this fair?!

Emmzi

go bankrupt

take in lodgers to cover the mortgage

the banks will then chase him for any debt with his name on it

mum will be stuck with the £9k in her name, but she probably knew that when she took it on.

dearlouise

bigmomma051204 wrote: »

I'll be honest, you need to stop sounding so abrasive and aggressive to people who are trying to help you! (if you aren't meaning to, then don't take this the wrong way... you are just coming across as VERY aggro!)

Hope someone can offer you advice that you deem good enough soon xx

I'm not being aggressive and abrasive, at all. I'm very happy to take suggestions.

Though I'm being matter of fact. My whole life is in tatters, and I'm not going to be airy fairy about it.

And it's not about the advice being good enough. I just would like suggestions I haven't thought of. Hence my post here...!

dearlouise

Emmzi wrote: »

go bankrupt

take in lodgers to cover the mortgage

the banks will then chase him for any debt with his name on it

mum will be stuck with the £9k in her name, but she probably knew that when she took it on.

I have considered bankruptcy. I need to do more research. Especially regarding the house.

Though it seems extreme for the sake of £9,000. When I read on the bankruptcy forums about people having £100,000s written off.

And if I didn't have to cover the debts that ex-husband is trying to push onto me, my salary can cover the mortgage & living costs. I'm coping just fine right now.

Emmzi

dearlouise wrote: »

I'm not being aggressive and abrasive, at all. I'm very happy to take suggestions.

Though I'm being matter of fact. My whole life is in tatters, and I'm not going to be airy fairy about it.

And it's not about the advice being good enough. I just would like suggestions I haven't thought of. Hence my post here...!

Your response to "do you think you are being aggressive" is, um, aggressive.

You could thank people for their time even if you have your own reasons for not taking the advice. That'd soften it a bit!

dirtysexymonkey

dearlouise wrote: »

I have considered bankruptcy. I need to do more research. Especially regarding the house.

Though it seems extreme for the sake of £9,000. When I read on the bankruptcy forums about people having £100,000s written off.

you said £60,000 in your op. which is it?

Emmzi

dearlouise wrote: »

I have considered bankruptcy. I need to do more research. Especially regarding the house.

Though it seems extreme for the sake of £9,000. When I read on the bankruptcy forums about people having £100,000s written off.

£9k you don't have plus whatever the business loan is - don't think you gave an amount?

Partly, if you are BR and he isn't, the banks will chase him, not you, which seems a bit fairer. Try asking on the BR board, lots of experienced people there.

74jax

dearlouise wrote: »

I'm not being aggressive and abrasive, at all. I'm very happy to take suggestions.

Though I'm being matter of fact. My whole life is in tatters, and I'm not going to be airy fairy about it.

And it's not about the advice being good enough. I just would like suggestions I haven't thought of. Hence my post here...!

Many people would swap their lives to be in your position right now, some people won't see your life as 'in tatters'. You do have options, you just don't like them and they aren't what you would have chosen had you had the choice.

I would suggest you speak to a solicitor, stop paying any of his debts, and look again at the bankruptcy. You say it's not worth it for 9k but I thought the house was in 50k neg equity?

dearlouise

Emmzi wrote: »

£9k you don't have plus whatever the business loan is - don't think you gave an amount?

Partly, if you are BR and he isn't, the banks will chase him, not you, which seems a bit fairer. Try asking on the BR board, lots of experienced people there.

The business loan is £9k. That's the only thing I can't afford to take on.

Given I've taken *everything else* and a property that's in negative equity, I'd have thought that would be enough to satisfy my 'half' of the divorce settlement.

Will pop over to the forum & have a stab there.

Emmzi

well until you get a financial settlement in writing court stamped there is no "half", everything is a marital asset/ marital debt.

dearlouise

74jax wrote: »

Many people would swap their lives to be in your position right now. You do have options, you just don't like them and they aren't what you would have chosen had you had the choice.

I would suggest you speak to a solicitor, stop paying any of his debts, and look again at the bankruptcy. You say it's not worth it for 9k but I thought the house was in 50k neg equity?

And I'm sure I'd swap lives with a good proportion of the population now too. I haven't done anything wrong in all of this, yet I'm being penalised like I'm the one that left.

Me going bankrupt wouldn't solve the house equity. There are 2 other names on the property that wouldn't be bankrupt, so they'd be chased instead. One of which being my mother, which I'm not happy about.

I have a solicitor!