Divorce - Is this fair?!

dearlouise

Emmzi wrote: »

well until you get a financial settlement in writing court stamped there is no "half", everything is a marital asset/ marital debt.

In that case at the moment I'm being lumbered with 100% of all assets and debt.

74jax

dearlouise wrote: »

I have a solicitor!

But you say 'he's not being helpful'?? I was only making a suggestion to seek advice that was all.

Emmzi

dearlouise wrote: »

In that case at the moment I'm being lumbered with 100% of all assets and debt.

Letting yourself be.

dearlouise

I'm going to have a stab over at the 'Living with Bankruptcy' forum, they may have experienced loopholes, and any things I may be able to tap into in this situation.

Welshwoofs

It seems to me that you need to think long-term because, realistically, it's not just all the debt you need to pay back but at some point you're going to need to get the house up to scratch because if it's in a bad state of repair it'll just keep getting worse until it's fixed. You really need a plan on how you can pay back debt and get needed work done on your house.

The £174 a month for 5 cats - is that just for food? If so I'd have thought that could be cut down enormously (I don't spend that amount on feeding my 12 stone Mastiff a month and I'm sure he'd be outeating 5 cats)

If your house is up to it, as another said it may be wise to think about lodgers....but bear in mind that they may not be as forgiving of delays to repair issues as you are being the homeowner.

I would get some professional debt advice and see a lawyer over the terms of this divorce.....though I fear that the debt to your Mother is going to be unenforcable as technically it's her debt since the credit card is in her name.

dearlouise

Emmzi wrote: »

Letting yourself be.

I'm not letting myself do anything. I'm just trying to deal with things as they are dropped in my lap.

dearlouise

Welshwoofs wrote: »

It seems to me that you need to think long-term because, realistically, it's not just all the debt you need to pay back but at some point you're going to need to get the house up to scratch because if it's in a bad state of repair it'll just keep getting worse until it's fixed. You really need a plan on how you can pay back debt and get needed work done on your house.

The £174 a month for 5 cats - is that just for food? If so I'd have thought that could be cut down enormously (I don't spend that amount on feeding my 12 stone Mastiff a month and I'm sure he'd be outeating 5 cats)

If your house is up to it, as another said it may be wise to think about lodgers....but bear in mind that they may not be as forgiving of delays to repair issues as you are being the homeowner.

I would get some professional debt advice and see a lawyer over the terms of this divorce.....though I fear that the debt to your Mother is going to be unenforcable as technically it's her debt since the credit card is in her name.

Thankfully my mother/father are helping sort the house out one weekend at a time, doing everything ourselves. EG last weekend was spent fixing holes in the porch roof, which given the rain we had this week, has worked perfectly. All for the sake of a long ladder and a few tubes of bitumen. I'm quite content at working hard over time in sorting things out myself.

£174 is the amount I entered onto my financial disclosure. If I get 'deals' from the supermarket and bulk buy, I can get it down to around £100-£120. Some of it is medication for 2 of the cats which I can't whittle down.

My mother is aware of her situation with the credit card, though she has received legal advice that should he stop paying, he can sue him for at least half of the balance (arguable half of the balance is my responsibility). But again this is at a cost. Court costs aren't cheap.

Emmzi

moneyclaim online is quite cheap. but if he has no assets/ spare income it is pointless.

bigmomma051204

dearlouise wrote: »

I'm not letting myself do anything. I'm just trying to deal with things as they are dropped in my lap.

Its okay. We DO understand that you are in a poop situation and of COURSE you are going to be frustrated and angry. Rightly so! But you just seem to be directing your anger at people who are trying to help you here..

Keep your calm and go see another solicitor - you said that your current one wasnt helping so it couldnt do any harm to get some different advice could it?

You need to get some proper advice though - okay, people online can be very helpful BUT they dont know ALL the background on ur situation and most arent legally trained so therefore cant give you totally sound advice. At least take a trip down to citizens advice bureaux (not that they are Great....!)

We do all sympathise though Your ex sounds like a right bar-steward!

paddy's_mum

dearlouise wrote: »

My solicitor said I should have them terminated. Not possible.

Actually, yes, you can. If push came to shove and it was their welfare or your own, are you seriously telling us that you would die of starvation so long as these sickly cats had everything provided for them?

I adore my pets but I'm not prepared to let my love for them reduce me to walking the streets, begging ....