Taxi...from an ugly duckling to a swan

elantan

Do you think maybe doing some breathing techniques / visualisation stuff help ?

taxi73

elantan wrote: »

It is hard and made all the harder as you've been here before so know what's ahead, we can all read about horrific it is but unless youve been through it you will never truly know

Will delaying your chemo till next week make a difference ? Maybe having a week off it may help? Especially if you get the counselling in the mean time , do you want me to pm you my number? Any time I am night shift you can text me and I will phone you to chat or anything , do you have someone up with you just now ?

being the 2nd time is definitely harder...I've delayed it until next week but the consultant isn't happy with me as he was trying everything to make me stay but I couldn't...he said he'd be in trouble as the treatment is expensive...he didn't understand that I just couldn't do it...am really hoping that I can get councilling before next week and that the tablets help....he even said some people are physically sick before going in..he understands my fear sort of and his thinking was that as I'm there anywhere just get on with it as thinking about it makes it worse but I just couldn't...I wish I could but I couldn't

hubby is in bed and will be up at 6am for work..I don't want him to see me like this as don't want him driving upset

taxi73

maybe it will El will try that

taxi73

am so sorry to post stuff on here was very selfish of me

elantan

Don't you apologise taxi, it's your diary my dear, it's your life and if it helps in anyway to help you then it's been worth it, and knowing the amount of lurkers we have on Mse I am sure you will have helped someone feel less alone as well

Let me know if I can help in anyway

taxi73

will do El..thanks
can't put how I really feel on FB as my daughters are on there
I really do want to get over the fear of wanting to run away just wish I had the answer

elantan

Yep it is hard, and I can only imagine you feel a pressure to try and carry in as normal around loved ones so as not to worry them

I truthfully don't know much about cancer treatment etc but I do imagine that you arnt alone in feeling the way you do just now, it must be hellish for you ( and your loved ones)

Fingers crossed the counsellor gets un touch today, in the meantime were here ( and will be here when you have your counselling etc) so keep talking honey, we may not always have the right answer but we will do our best

And supply virtual Jaffa cakes and cups of tea as well ... Although today I'm thinking a wee half or a wine, surely it's after 11 am somewhere on the planet

elantan

Have you done meditation ? Just wondering I that may help calm you and help with the feelings of wanting to run away ( I would say come up to mine but you would need to bring the polar bears to keep you warm )

taxi73

I am also hoping the counsellor gets in touch today too even if only to give me an appt.
thanks everyone for being here x
best let you get on with your work as guess you'll be busy at this time

elantan

Nope we were up early today so all the hard work is done

It can be strange sometimes the way my shifts go