Child mainenance + more!!!

level200

Hi Everyone

I have recently seperated and moved out from my wife and 14 year old daughter (not my fault, she had an affair with an ex boyfriend) anyway.... she has asked me to pay maintenance, I have no problem about that at all (BTW what should i pay per month?) but she has also asked me to pay towards gym club fees too.

I have had to move out of the family home and rent a flat, I have took minimal things from the house as not to disrupt my daughter too much. I have even paid this months mortgage, virgin Tv/ broadband as well as a flat bond, first months rent and basics for the flat. I'm on my knees.

My wife earns the same as me! I want to do the right thing but refuse to be made a fool of again. What should I do?

Cheers
John

make_me_wise

I am sorry but I cant help but feel that you are shell-shocked by recent events and in danger of being completely screwed over.

Your wife had the affair and you have left. Cant quite get my head round why it is you that has had to leave the family home and your daughter.

Is this a permanent split? If so you really need to decide what to do about any assets in the property. Can you continue to pay your share of the mortgage on it and cover the rent on your flat. Or will you need for the family home to be sold and assets split.

You have your own household expenses to be covered now. So stop paying for bills in a house where you no longer live. TV, broadband etc etc is down to your wife now. As is her gym membership, blimey she has some nerve hey. Does she really expect you to pay for her to go to a gym so she can stay trim and carry on with an ex boyfriend.

If your wife were to contact the csa they would assess maintenance at 15% of your net income if you have 1 child together. This may be varied if there is shared care. Or you could come to some kind of agreement between you both.

You sound like a good dad who wants to be responsible for his kid. Dont let that get taken advantage of though. I wish you well and hope things work out for you.

Oldernotwiser

I hope she's talking about maintenance for your daughter and not for her! Which of them is the gym membership for?

Person_one

Solicitor. First thing Monday morning.

You sound shell shocked, you need somebody not involved to help you sort it all out.

neverdespairgirl

Is the gym for your wife or daughter?

make_me_wise

Close down joint bank accounts also.

level200

Sorry perhaps I wasnt clear, the Gymnastics fee is for my daughter.

I moved out as things were very odd and strained at home I had to get out and get myself sorted, dont know if its temporary or permanent yet but the flat term is 6 months to start.

make_me_wise

I think it would be fair to say that your daughters gym membership should come out of any child maintenance payments you give.

Your are no doubt feeling very fragile emotionally at the moment. Your wife will be aware that you are vulnerable right now. Most people who have been in a long term relationship/marriage have their whole world rocked by discovering an affair.

My advice is when you are asked for anything say that you want time to consider it and dont feel pressured into making any rushed decisions.

Most importantly right now I would suggest speaking to your daughter regularly and maintaining the good relationship you have always had. Arrange with your wife when you will see your kid. Things may not stay amicable for long and its best to get the most important stuff sorted out first.

victory

Person_one wrote: »

Solicitor. First thing Monday morning.

You sound shell shocked, you need somebody not involved to help you sort it all out.

Absolutely agree, stop shelling out so much all in one go immediately and get some professional help, they will give you an idea of how much you should pay monthly

Mojisola

Your wife will have her wage, the child maintenance you pay, child benefit and any other benefits she's entitled to. I would work out what that will add up to before you are pressurised into paying anything extra.

level200

How much would a solicitor cost and what should I be asking him/ her?