Sorry to rant like this but am I wrong to be so angry?

katiecoodle

Thanks for your honesty. I guess I just want something for me. I have never had a holiday in 10 years of marriage. I've watched him spend £5K+ on a drum kit, and another £1500 on his spare one (!) which he has never used. He goes out for a meal with his friends EVERY saturday night and bets or plays golf every saturday afternoon. I've scrimped and saved for years and he's hardly felt the burden because I've managed our money so well. I've never asked for a holiday except the one which (yes I know it wasn't his fault) was ruined for me. I want to treat my children to something really special. Of course Lapland won't be a holiday for me, I just want them to have something lovely.
I was looking at £1500 for a 2 night break for the 4 of us.

Emmzi

yes, you are out of order. go and apologise. the world will not end if you have sensible savings and no holiday.

[Deleted User]

katiec you are very very wrong. Your husband is literally worried sick and you react by throwing coffee over him. Get your priorities right, lapland and any holiday abroad is not a priority. You should be building a cosy nest so that you all feel safe come what may. You are on track to breaking up your family. Get a grip and quickly

gonzo127

other ideas might be somewhere like centre parcs which i know every time i have taken my kids they have LOVED because of all the activities you can do - once again not a cheap holiday, but probably a lot cheaper than lapland (and also in the uk)

LittleMissInDebt

I can understand your frustration and it's possible it's been building up for a long time with your husband having been ill etc. However as others have mentioned it is possible that he is not ready to travel again, so what about looking for something closer to home - maybe he's genuinely scared of going abroad.

What about Centre Parcs or somewhere that does something special for christmas in this country - you can get the holiday you want, without the stress of being abroad and the kids will probably love it. I know mine would love to go for a christmas weekend at Centreparcs. They're getting a trip to the local santas grotto though because that's what my budget can afford

The cold coffee section of your argument was probably not persuasive, but at least it wasn't hot :eek:

LittleMissInDebt

gonzo127 wrote: »

other ideas might be somewhere like centre parcs which i know every time i have taken my kids they have LOVED because of all the activities you can do - once again not a cheap holiday, but probably a lot cheaper than lapland (and also in the uk)

Great minds

elantan

it sounds ot me like you obviously dont agree with him spending money on drum kits, golf, gambling etc ... maybe you need to address this issue with your husband as well ... if he doesnt know that you have an issue with him spending this money he wont see it as a problem ..

FWIW ... my husband would never spend that kinda money on himself drumkits,golfing, gambling or anything ... but would agree to a holiday in a heartbeat ... now to find the money for India for my 40th sigh

and i'm sure you know the coffee throwing was bang out of order .. hot or cold makes no real difference ... have you apologised yet?

SueMaggie

I agree with an earlier poster - your OH may feel that he can't cope with going away from home again due to his depression/anxiety, but that rather than say that's the reason is saying it's to do with spending the money.

He may also be worried that if the money is spent there'll be nothing to fall back on if he falls ill again and can't work.

Rather than do Lapland, could you do a trip within the UK for your children? A lot of cities have Christmas events (Edinburgh has a market beneath the Castle, London has the Hyde Park event) and with all the lights in the streets it can be magical too.

katiecoodle

kittie wrote: »

katiec you are very very wrong. Your husband is literally worried sick and you react by throwing coffee over him. Get your priorities right, lapland and any holiday abroad is not a priority. You should be building a cosy nest so that you all feel safe come what may. You are on track to breaking up your family. Get a grip and quickly

At what point do you stop saving and get a holiday/break?

FagAshLil

I can understand your anger - i would feel like he's being selfish and treating himself whilst you and the kids had their holiday spoilt. I've been to Lapland and it was ok (so freezing and awful food) but it was not worth two grand for a day! But it's not just about the money, is it? Is it also about him being controlling and saying no to you. That would make me very cross. Ok, so the coffee thing isn't great but it could have been worse!

There are lovely Christmassy things in the UK - up here there's a fanastic grotto event in Kielder, so I hear so I'm sure other places do stuff like that. Might need to do some research and present him with a list of options.

A weekend away in Centerparcs, maybe or Alton Towers?