Little Brother gotten Girlfriend Pregnant!

Darlyd

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

Sounds like he's got himself a keeper there!


My advice would be to have a quiet word with her, including the words 'statutory rape' and advise her to tell him he's not the dad; and to palm it off on somebody else... and nothing else will be said about it.

Right or wrong; it's what I'd be doing.

Exactly what I would do!

And I would be asking for social services opinion on this too.

janninew

j.e.j. wrote: »

I agree with this. Does your brother have a social worker?

I'm not sure on this, he has a support worker through College. I'll check with my Mum later when I go round.

persa

janninew wrote: »

I'm not sure on the ins and outs, but he was always around 3 years behind at school. He is under a Consultant for care and gets help at College. I will check with my Mum later and have a read through his paperwork.

I mentioned that he should get checked out, he told me not to be stupid and that this 'women' hasn't got any 'germs!'

Your 'emotional age' isn't necessarily the same age as your 'school age', but it does sound worrying. Boys tend to mature slower than girls anyway, which combined with what you have said does make me wonder if it was inappropriate for this woman to be having a sexual relationship with him in the first place.

Tread carefully, but you may need to get the authorities involved. If you and your mum are in any doubt, the consultant might be a good first port of all - if nothing else, will be able to confirm that your brother has been naive like a normal 16 year old or whether he has in fact been taken advantage of as an 'underage' boy.

LadyMorticia

I really can't help but feel like your brother has been taken advantage of.

The girlfriend sounds like a right catch. (where's the rolls eyes smiley when you need it!)

As I understand it, if your brother is 16 but has a lower mental age, even though he may be old enough to consent, the girlfriend can still be prosecuted because mentally he isn't old enough to consent, if that makes sense?

I'm not sure I explained it very well.:o

janninew

4Chickens wrote: »

OP I have some questions:

Does your brother have a statement of special needs?
Yes he has a statement of special needs, he had this when he was in Year 7 and because of the findings was withdrawn from mainstream school and went to a specialist school until he was 15 years old. He now attends the local College doing brickwork and has full time help.

What are your parents views on this at the moment?
My Mum is very upset, but trying to support him. She said the baby may still be her Grandchild and she will want to be part of its life. My Dad is livid with both of them, he is quite an old fashioned man and has always been open with my Brother about condoms and staying safe and thinks my Brother has been very foolish.

What would you consider your brothers' mental/social/emotional age to be taking into account his special needs?
I would consider his mental age to be around 13, I work in a large secondary and he doesn't act like most of the 16 year old boys. Though I'm not an expert.

What exactly are your brothers' special needs, ie aspergers (autism), dyslexia, dyspraxia etc?
I know my Mum has received DLA for him for many years. I'm not sure of the full nature of his condition, but as said in my last post he was deprived of oxygen at birth and suffers from dyslexia and very bad mood swings.

The answers to the above will determine how this situation should be handled.

Oh and by the way, it doesn't have to be your mum and dad that report this to the social services or police, anyone can do it.

I think this skanky woman is going to use your brother for as long as it suits her, then as soon as her next meal ticket comes along she'll ditch him. Most 16 yo boys with or without special needs would not cope well with this.

This is my fear that she will string him along and use him when it suits. I know that things are going to be very unstable and unsettled for the next year or so.

Bloomin_Freezing2

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

Sounds like he's got himself a keeper there!


My advice would be to have a quiet word with her, including the words 'statutory rape' and advise her to tell him he's not the dad; and to palm it off on somebody else... and nothing else will be said about it.

Right or wrong; it's what I'd be doing.

Yes I agree with the part of telling the boy it is not his child, but to palm it off onto someone else?? :eek: Would you want your brother/son/partner (child from previous relationship) etc being chased by the CSA & paying for a child for the next 18 years that was not their own?

claire16c

If she was sleeping with him when he was 15 Id be going to the police.

Desperado99

Awful situation

A lot of good advice on here already. I would definitely be talking to your brother's support worker and, in time, be doing a DNA test.

Lucy1973

j.e.j. wrote: »

:eek:
The situation sounds abusive to me. I am just thinking out loud here, but if a 31-yr-old man had been having sex with a 15-yr old girl he could get prosecuted. Does the same apply when the genders are the other way round?

Yes I'm pretty sure they are. I remember reading when this situation happened with a female teacher having an affair with a 16 yr old pupil and she was put on the sex offender register.

Errata

Because of his learning development at 15 he's a vulnerable child and at 16 a vulnerable adult. I'd say he'd been groomed by the woman and enticed into sexual actitivity with her. That's not right, and advice should be sought about the best way forward in dealing with the situation.