Is this rude, or is it just me?!?

Moominmamma

It was my dd's birthday yesterday and she had a joint party with a friend from her class at the local swimming pool. Altogether we had invited 30 odd kids, most of whom are friends with both of the girls as they're in the same class.

As of yesterday afternoon we'd had 13 replies to say kids were coming to the party, and 3 to say they weren't able to. The rest of the parents didn't have the courtesy to bother replying at all and yet 27 kids turned up to the party!!

Is it just me, or is it perfectly acceptable not to bother RSVPing to a party invite and then to just off-load your off-spring on the day?!? Surely these people realise that it's kinda handy to know how many you're catering for, how many party bags you need etc?

And to add insult to injury, I completely appreciatre times are hard and all that and wasn't expecting loads of lavish presents but some of the kids turned up without even a card :eek:

Personally I find this kind of thing outrageously rude, AIBU?

Seanymph

Rude but normal I'd have said.... normal courtesy seems to have gone out of the window in many cases.

cheepskate_2

Totally agree with your post, but a sad fact of life .

As for present i would not dream of not taking one, even if i was so skint, poundshop do arty stuff so altho cheap it is still something.

To think the next gerenration of some kids are going to be worse than their parent- scary

Lunar_Eclipse

I'd say very rude and (hopefully) not very normal.

I'm guessing, on the basis that you're managing the party, that your daughter is of primary school age, when I have never known a child turn up completely empty handed, without saying so at the time (we did this once when I brought the gift at the end of the party for a good reason which I can't recall now!) The onus is therefore usually on the parents to respond and facilitate/buy a gift for the birthday child. I'm wondering if most people had actually forgotten, so also didn't get round to buying anything.

At my daughter's 10th birthday party this year, one child didn't turn up, who we thought was coming. It was a diary mix up, we both received heartfelt apologies and he still brought her present in to school for her on the Monday. Hope that restores your faith in people a little (not that I'm making it about presents, hopefully you got that.)

adamantine

totally rude! alot of people seem to not be RSVPing anymore. ive heard it very often these days. one of the reasons i wont have a big do for my kids (apart from the fact i cant afford it)

as for turning up empty handed - well thats just unbelievable! a nice card is more important to me as it shows you have at least taken a few mins to choose something nice but to show up without anything to a childs party is awful!

though i do know parents who chose to throw parties instead of buying their kids much presents as it works out cheaper for them as they dont have to spend so much out but invite loads of better off people who they know will spend alot on presents for the birthday boy/girl. they will be screwed and the kids very disappointed if this trend continues!

suzybloo

I am with you OP - this was extremely rude even a quick phonecall or text to say sorry cant manage or many thanks that would be lovely, would make all the difference, and even a nice wee homemade card would have been acceptable - as, like you say you appreciate there are many going through hard times, but manners cost nothing.

Tigsteroonie

I think when A is old enough to have parties, I will be putting "No RSVP = No Partybag"

Teenie_D

:mad: this really bugs me can't believe people don't have the time to give a 2minute reply and to not turn up with presents is just taking the pee!

Were you able to cater for the ones that hadn't rsvp'd if you had to give final numbers before the party? It would have served them right if they turned up and there was no space for them.....would hopefully teach the parents a lesson (but unfair to the kids I suppose:o, it's not their fault the parents are rude!).

I do like that whole no rsvp no partybag but would feel obliged to give the children one anyway, again it's not the childrens fault.

mrcow

That sounds very unusual.

Joint party - are you sure they didn't reply to the other parent and they didn't relay it to you? Sometimes things get missed.

aliasojo

Just a thought but maybe the parents thought the kids telling their pal they would be coming was enough? Depending on the age of course.

I know formal RSVP's kinda died off when my daughter got older and word of mouth was what was used between the kids.

Teenie_D

My DD had a joint party with 2 of her friends in summer and we (the Mums) met up and arranged party bag etc together so surely the OP and the other parent would have discussed it at some stage before the party?

And we didn't expect a formal rsvp but just a "***** will managet to the party" while passing was fine, just being told if a child is going or not is all that is needed, doesn't matter how it's done.