Cant afford to attend sisters wedding abroad.

balletshoes

Don't string your sister along with comments like you'll try to save and do it cheaper. If you already know you are not going to be able to afford to go, tell her now. That way you both know where you stand.

CH27

Tell her straight that you cannot afford it & will not be going.
Tell her ASAP.

tanith

Your sister is choosing to marry abroad so its very rude of her to then blame you because you can't afford to go.. I agree with the others tell her straight she chose to exclude everyone who can't afford to go from her wedding..so there is no one to blame but herself

Goldenyears

As said by someone else your sister could have arranged a reception at home after the wedding for those who could/would not travel.

We did not attend my niece's wedding in Hawaii but she did arrange a home reception afterwards. We could have afforded the trip, but why should we have to ?

With these overseas weddings I always wonder whether the couple check that the marriage is properly registered with state or national authority of the country they are in.

Bumpmakesfour

Question..?
What's the financial position of the rest of your immediate family?Will they all be able to fund the trip?

claire16c

Goldenyears wrote: »

As said by someone else your sister could have arranged a reception at home after the wedding for those who could/would not travel.

We did not attend my niece's wedding in Hawaii but she did arrange a home reception afterwards. We could have afforded the trip, but why should we have to ?

With these overseas weddings I always wonder whether the couple check that the marriage is properly registered with state or national authority of the country they are in.

Why should the person getting married arrange a reception at home if their wedding is abroad? Its not obligatory. A marriage is about the two people involved, not providing a party for all and sundry.

You didnt have to go to your nieces wedding, but it would have been a nice trip. It would hardly have been a horrible place to go to :rotfl:

And Im pretty sure most people do their homework before getting married. I got married abroad and it meant I didnt have to deal with stupid laws that the UK has.

there are some interesting replies on this site where the poster has a similar dilemma

http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/2006/mar/31/personaleffects

Sambucus_Nigra

elainec wrote: »

Hi, My sister recently got engaged and decided they will be having wedding abroad end of next year.
Now they have announced the trip will cost £1800 for me, my husband and our small child for 1 week all inclusive.

There is no way we can afford even that, let alone outfits, passports, spending money and insurance.
I have tried to advise her we cannot afford it but will save and see if we can get something cheaper nearer the time. I have booked the time off my work anyway. She just got a bit snippy with me and now looks like she is ignoring me.

At moment we are really struggling, OH is self-employed so we cannot budget easily for spare money. At moment we have no spare money, i had to turn down a meal out recently with her and a friend as i couldn't afford it, so she does know we are struggling.

I feel bad for saying this to her as she will obviously be excited about planning the trip. I am also upset that i have to explain this to her and that she has put me in this situation.

Why lie to her? Don't tell her that you will save - if you save you should spend it on things for yourself not someone else's wedding.

If you start off on this road it will only get you more and more worried about telling her. Start off the way you started that sentence above. 'There is no way we can afford even that, let alone outfits, passports, spending money and insurance'. See, you already said it once, just keep saying it again and again until she listens to you.

coolcait

claire16c wrote: »

... I got married abroad and it meant I didnt have to deal with stupid laws that the UK has.

That's interesting. Which UK laws would have stopped you getting married here, but not abroad? Or, what made it easier to get married wherever it was that you had your wedding?

Basically, I'm not quite sure what you mean here - can you explain a bit more, please?

LondonDreamer

coolcait wrote: »

That's interesting. Which UK laws would have stopped you getting married here, but not abroad? Or, what made it easier to get married wherever it was that you had your wedding?

Basically, I'm not quite sure what you mean here - can you explain a bit more, please?

I can't speak for the original poster but if you are not a UK citizen, there are (or were, last time I looked) additional visa requirements for getting married within the UK. Some people just don't want to deal with that.

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Why lie to her? Don't tell her that you will save - if you save you should spend it on things for yourself not someone else's wedding.

If you start off on this road it will only get you more and more worried about telling her. Start off the way you started that sentence above. 'There is no way we can afford even that, let alone outfits, passports, spending money and insurance'. See, you already said it once, just keep saying it again and again until she listens to you.

Agree with this. My personal opinion is if they insist on getting married abroad and also insist on people being there, they should foot the bill! Otherwise, they will need to come to terms with the fact that most people aren't going to be able to afford (or don't want) to spend that amount of money to be part of their day.

DH and I were married abroad. My family all live abroad (although not where we got married) so there would have been significant travel costs for at least one side of the family no matter where we chose. But we decided not to invite anyone and also didn't host a reception for either family afterwards. It was only important to us that we were married, didn't care about giving everyone else a party to go to. We were the third wedding in his immediate family that year, so I think everyone here was a bit partied out anyway.

globetraveller

Unless there is a valid reason for getting married abroad( eg OH's family is there) then its incredibly selfish to expect your friends and family to fork out money to go to a place they may not want to go to at a time they wouldn't choose to have their holiday. Most folks get married abroad because its a cheaper for them.
By all means ask but don't expect. Older relatives may well find they also have a fortune to pay for insurance alone.
I understand why some want to marry abroad- just be prepared to do so without any friends and relatives there.
OP - don't feel guilty- just tell the truth.