Cant afford to attend sisters wedding abroad.

euronorris

Moufflon5 wrote: »

Definitely agree with you. But then who would only want to do expensive stuff anyway?

The majority of people don't, but I've come accross a few who only ever wanted to do expensive stuff.

But then, that was when I was working in the City, and it seemed like all out war to show who had the most money. Bleugh!

Glad I'm away from that now.

claire16c

Well in my opinion a boiler is more important than a sofa for obvious reasons. Thats why I think the sofa was a silly example. But again this is all worst case scenario, most people boilers/sofas etc are unlikely to break down just before someones wedding. If bizarrely mine did, Id find a temporary solution that enabled me to go. If you assumed bad things were going to happen all the time, youd never plan to go anywhere ever!

With a location that would only be an issue if you made it one. You just pick a destination where you know your family would want to go and keep anywhere else for another holiday on your own - unless you dont mind no one coming of course!

My family and I like to go to the same kind of places on holiday anyway, my mum has asthma too but she doesnt mind hot places. So I could pick those places, you wouldnt if you wanted your mum to be there because like you say she doesnt. So you can obviously make the location fit into your circumstances. I know where they think would be horrible, so I just wouldnt pick somewhere there would I?

claire16c

euronorris wrote: »

The majority of people don't, but I've come accross a few who only ever wanted to do expensive stuff.

But then, that was when I was working in the City, and it seemed like all out war to show who had the most money. Bleugh!

Glad I'm away from that now.

Thats a world of its own isnt it. Someone I know used to work in the City and got taken the complete mick out of him because his tie was from M&S and not somewhere I guess his colleagues considered good enough! He never wore it again! Totally crazy.

shellsuit

claire16c wrote: »

I agree that they should be prepared for that. I would never have been horrible to anyone over it. But most people we really wanted there did come. There was 1 friend who I really would have liked to have come but due to circumstance in her family she had to drop out, thats life. Which is why I think its unfair in this post that the OPs sister is being funny with her about it and if that was me Id just pay for her. I would do anything to be at my sisters wedding because in years to come I know I would remember her wedding over a random piece of furniture which for some reason came up as an example.

If it was an friend at work or something then obviously that would be different and it would probably come down to whether it fitted into our holiday plans that year.

My sister lives abroad and so she hardly has any holiday days because of the country she lives in, and she likes to try to come back here once a year, but she came to my wedding. But then I wouldnt plan a wedding in a horrible destination that no one wanted to go to! She will probably get married abroad somewhere too, either in the country she lives in now, or 3rd one, or back here, and whichever it is there will be someone who cant come. But you cant please everyone.

Do you have children?

I'm sure anyone with a family who didn't have a sofa, would put buying one above spending to go abroad for someone's wedding.

If you don't have children, it's easy to understand where you are coming from, but having my kids sit on a floor or wooden chairs for the forseeable just so I can go to a relatives wedding is crazy!

I wouldn't look on it in years to come that I'd missed a glorious wedding for the sake of some furniture, I'd look back on it that I'd missed it because I provided for my family like any decent parent would.

And that's how you and I differ.

From what I can gather, you don't have children so aren't responsible for anyone else, your family aren't short of a bob or 2 and you have a credit card with a good amount to spend on it.

If I'm wrong, feel free to correct me.


ETA ; Someone mentioned saving up for things like a car or sofa etc over going to a wedding...

You were the one who come up with the sofa scenario

Youd have to have a pretty bad relationship with a sibling to buy a new sofa over going to their wedding!! Thats awful.

euronorris

claire16c wrote: »

Well in my opinion a boiler is more important than a sofa for obvious reasons. Thats why I think the sofa was a silly example. But again this is all worst case scenario, most people boilers/sofas etc are unlikely to break down just before someones wedding. If bizarrely mine did, Id find a temporary solution that enabled me to go. If you assumed bad things were going to happen all the time, youd never plan to go anywhere ever!

I don't assume bad things will happen, but I'm aware that they might. So I could agree one day, and then have to cancel the next because I had to spend money on something else.

What if the wedding was in winter, and your boiler broke then? What temporary solution is there? Given that it may have taken you 12 months or more to save enough for the wedding abroad, and would likely take you the same amount of time to save for a new boiler? I would definitely, absolutely, choose the boiler and forfeit the wedding. No temp solution is going to be effective enough to last throughout a winter full of snow and ice like we've had in recent years.

With a location that would only be an issue if you made it one. You just pick a destination where you know your family would want to go and keep anywhere else for another holiday on your own - unless you dont mind no one coming of course!

Yeah, but isn't that just it? A lot of people choose the destination that they want, not one that they think their friends and family would like.

My family and I like to go to the same kind of places on holiday anyway, my mum has asthma too but she doesnt mind hot places. So I could pick those places, you wouldnt if you wanted your mum to be there because like you say she doesnt. So you can obviously make the location fit into your circumstances. I know where they think would be horrible, so I just wouldnt pick somewhere there would I?

Well, you wouldn't. But plenty of people do, because it's 'their special day'. I think people just get carried away with what they want, and forget to consider that if they want x, y & z person to be there, then they have to be more considerate of their situations.

euronorris

claire16c wrote: »

Thats a world of its own isnt it. Someone I know used to work in the City and got taken the complete mick out of him because his tie was from M&S and not somewhere I guess his colleagues considered good enough! He never wore it again! Totally crazy.

Oh it's nuts! Don't ever admit to owning clothes from Primark in a Corney and Barrow bar!! :rotfl:

claire16c

shellsuit wrote: »

Do you have children?

I'm sure anyone with a family who didn't have a sofa, would put buying one above spending to go abroad for someone's wedding.

If you don't have children, it's easy to understand where you are coming from, but having my kids sit on a floor or wooden chairs for the forseeable just so I can go to a relatives wedding is crazy!

.

No I dont have children, but when I was a child me and my sister spent most of the time sitting on the floor or on bean bags actually now I think of it :rotfl: Same as my nieces and nephews. They seem to have an aversion to sofas and like to sit as close to the tv as possible!

And we never broke my parents sofa. Ive never actually known anyone to have a sofa physically break. Including the one I got off ebay for £20.

I actually think the example of a boiler is a better one. If someones boiler broke down then that is something that needs to come first.

euronorris

claire16c wrote: »

No I dont have children, but when I was a child me and my sister spent most of the time sitting on the floor or on bean bags actually now I think of it :rotfl: Same as my nieces and nephews. They seem to have an aversion to sofas and like to sit as close to the tv as possible!

And we never broke my parents sofa. Ive never actually known anyone to have a sofa physically break. Including the one I got off ebay for £20.

I actually think the example of a boiler is a better one. If someones boiler broke down then that is something that needs to come first.

I've seen sofa's break.

I've also seen the old one, which my sister passed to my brother and his family (3 kids), get completely wrecked by the kids jumping up and down on it whenever they thought their parents weren't looking! :rotfl::mad:

And I can remember breaking my parents bed doing the same thing. I also fell off and broke my finger (think bone sticking out), so Karma got me back!:eek:

claire16c

euronorris wrote: »

Well, you wouldn't. But plenty of people do, because it's 'their special day'. I think people just get carried away with what they want, and forget to consider that if they want x, y & z person to be there, then they have to be more considerate of their situations.

I agree totally.

I just think some people on this thread assume that anyone who gets married abroad hasnt considered anyone else, when its not like that for all of them. Same as for people who get married at home, some people consider others, some dont.

euronorris wrote: »

Oh it's nuts! Don't ever admit to owning clothes from Primark in a Corney and Barrow bar!! :rotfl:

Oh god if they thought M&S was bad I dread to think of their opinion of Primarni :rotfl:

claire16c

euronorris wrote: »

I've seen sofa's break.

I've also seen the old one, which my sister passed to my brother and his family (3 kids), get completely wrecked by the kids jumping up and down on it whenever they thought their parents weren't looking! :rotfl::mad:

And I can remember breaking my parents bed doing the same thing. I also fell off and broke my finger (think bone sticking out), so Karma got me back!:eek:

Some of the children I look after are banned from jumping on their parents sofa because of that very reason.

I did used to jump on my parents bed I do remember that. Ugh sounds nasty!