Going to a women's refuge

bigmomma051204

Just wanted to come back this morning and let you know i am thinking of you and hoping you are staying strong :A

Keep yourself safe and get ready for tomorrow as safely as you possibly can xxxx

Ps - please, when it is possible (and i know this may be a while what with getting settled etc) come back and let us all know how you got on and that you are okay. Thinking of you xx

go_cat

On a practical note remember to take your passport, birth certficate, NI card etc - anything that you may need to ID yourself.

Also details of bank accounts cards etc

If you can get a new SIM card for your phone so you can change your number

Really admire you OP so the best of luck for Monday

Darlyd

Well done on taking the first steps..

You are a very brave strong woman....

Good luck xxxx

greenhill

darlyd wrote: »

Well done on taking the first steps..

You are a very brave strong woman....

Good luck xxxx

Ditto. Be thinking of you tomorrow x

murphydog999

Yes, same as above really, stay strong and determined, and think of a much brighter future. Best wishes and all power to you.

make_me_wise

3moggi3s wrote: »

I've just been off the phone with Women's Aide. I needed advice on how to leave my abusive husband.

They have given me phone numbers to get help, mainly to get refuge. I won't be able to do anything until Monday night until he goes to work. In the meantime I will be collecting my things to get ready in a moments notice when the time comes for me to leave.
Mainly, I need to know that they have room for me Monday night. When they tell me yes, I will not look back.

The reason my husband beats me is I cannot find a job. I know that we are financially in a world of !!!!! and can lose everything, but I don't need to feel more worthless than I do now for not finding employment. I apply for anything and everything, but I just can't get a job. I don't want to put him in jail for what he has done to me, because that would financially hurt him even more. The violence is escalating and now it comes with threats that he is going to kill me.

I just couldn't find the courage until tonight. I feel so utterly ashamed and embarrassed about my situation.

If anyone has gotten out of an abusive relationship and gone into refuge I would like to hear from you.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. .

Well done you for having the strength of mind to be walking away from such vile abuse. I wouldn't be waiting till monday night personally. There is nothing stopping you going to your nearest police station, confiding in them what has been going on and asking them to assist you in leaving your home and getting into a refuge. Your husband is quite clearly emotionally unstable. Dont take his threats to kill you lightly, there are far to many women who make that mistake and end up as statictics.

Please know that none of this is your fault, something I am sure he has thrown at you, as well as other destrcutive comments. How exactly did your husband think that beating you was going to help you in your quest to find employment? Making someone terrified of the person they love and leaving them shaken up from suffering a violent attack does nothing to improve their chances of securing a job.

If I were you I would think very carefully about whether or not you have him charged for what he has done to you. Dont dismiss the idea purely on how it will effect him. The abuse he has inflicted on you is one of the most awful crimes. If he isn't made to face up to his problems and deal with the consequences he will treat other people in the same way.

pixie76

I don't have any words of wisdom for you but just wanted to say you are very brave and you are definitely doing the right thing. Take care of yourself & keep us updated.xx

wifeanddaughter

Lots of best wishes for tomorrow - you are doing the right thing. I'm currently on the pattern changing course run by Women's Aid which is aimed at women from abusive relationships, eventually I would stronly suggest you do that. Initially it is far more important to get out and start afresh, but this course is all about giving you the skills to make sure you don't end up in these negative relationships again. I am finding it a really valuable experience and learning more about myself and the skills to be assertive.

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, you are very brave.

starry_eyed_4

good luck for tomorrow, but like others have said if you feel you are in danger please just leave and go straight to the police or dial 999.

please remember to log out of this site and clear your history just incase x

LondonGirl252

All the best for tomorrow and the future, I hope you stay brave and go through with it. You won't look back.

Good luck xx