Going to a women's refuge

3moggi3s

I've just been off the phone with Women's Aide. I needed advice on how to leave my abusive husband.

They have given me phone numbers to get help, mainly to get refuge. I won't be able to do anything until Monday night until he goes to work. In the meantime I will be collecting my things to get ready in a moments notice when the time comes for me to leave.
Mainly, I need to know that they have room for me Monday night. When they tell me yes, I will not look back.

The reason my husband beats me is I cannot find a job. I know that we are financially in a world of !!!!! and can lose everything, but I don't need to feel more worthless than I do now for not finding employment. I apply for anything and everything, but I just can't get a job. I don't want to put him in jail for what he has done to me, because that would financially hurt him even more. The violence is escalating and now it comes with threats that he is going to kill me.

I just couldn't find the courage until tonight. I feel so utterly ashamed and embarrassed about my situation.

If anyone has gotten out of an abusive relationship and gone into refuge I would like to hear from you.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. .

whitewing

Really, really well done for taking this step.

Mojisola

3moggi3s wrote: »

The reason my husband beats me is I cannot find a job.

No, the reason he beats you is because he's a bully/a control freak/an inadequate man who has to make himself feel powerful by hitting you/etc/etc.

Humphrey10

3moggi3s wrote: »

The reason my husband beats me is I cannot find a job.

No it isn't. He beats you because he wants to. The fault lies with him, not with you.

Congratulations on deciding to leave.

alex21

Best of luck. Let us know how you are getting on. You are doing the right thing although it must be hard.:starmod:

Bumpmakesfour

Bless you hun xx Well done for making that decision. Is it just you..no kids?

Poppy9

Well done for taking control of the situation. Do you have any family or friends who can offer you support as well?

deb68_2

well done for you doing this
my friend did it 5 years ago has never looked back
good kuck
take care

adamantine

its not your fault he beats you. the fact you dont have a job is an excuse. its his fault he beats you. he deserves to be thrown in jail.

can i ask why you have to wait till monday? you have managed to make the call tonight so why cant you leave tonight? just grab what you can and run. you can get copies of all the documents you need for divorce later.

please go as soon as possible.

bigmomma051204

Well done for making the decision. You now have a day or so to stick to that decision and i hope that you will. I have been in a similar situation but escaped with the help of friends/family and not going to a refuge... but in my job i have also worked with survivors of domestic abuse, supported them through the criminal justice system and have worked in refuges. So if u need any info or support feel free to PM me or just on this post.

You are doing the right thing. And when you are in the refuge, ask if you can take part in the Freedom Programme - the womens aid ladies will know what it is. It is an excellent programme which looks at men who dominate and helps you through this tough time. Not something to worry about in the immediate future but just to remember for the long term. It will really help you :A

mandi

3moggi3s wrote: »

I've just been off the phone with Women's Aide. I needed advice on how to leave my abusive husband.



The reason my husband beats me is I cannot find a job. I know that we are financially in a world of !!!!! and can lose everything, but I don't need to feel more worthless than I do now for not finding employment. I apply for anything and everything, but I just can't get a job. I don't want to put him in jail for what he has done to me, because that would financially hurt him even more. The violence is escalating and now it comes with threats that he is going to kill me.

I just couldn't find the courage until tonight. I feel so utterly ashamed and embarrassed about my situation.
.

Hello 3moggi3s

Firstly I want to say that I too have been a victim of DV so fully understand how you feel .

I imagine this must have been going on for sometime now for you to come to your decision tonight & you don't have to feel ashamed or embarrassed , crickey quite the opposite .

The reason your husband is hurting you is because he has issues which need addressed & you need some intervention .

I was hurt many times before the police were involved , one occasion my head was smashed through a window , had it not been for the leaded glass I'm sure my injury's would have been fatal .

What I'm trying to say is that you need to inform the police , have him arrested & boy do I know how difficult it is if you still love someone, but honestly it will be the best thing you ever do .


If you think your best option is to leave when he goes to work then so be it but then he will never face the consequences of his actions unless you leave him & then report him.

3moggi3s I really know how difficult this is for you.

Stay Strong my love.