Prams on buses

mad_dr

biscit wrote: »

Indeed.

Company A designs space for parents out of courtesey.

Ignorant person B choses not to respect this.

Person C states Person B is being ignorant.

Logicless person D blames person C for the situation Person B caused.

Hang on, I must have missed something... Where did the OP say that the space was designed for parents?? Didn't the OP say that:

Company A designates that certain spaces on the bus should be given up to EITHER parents with bulky, awkward items relating to their kids or disabled people (by disabled, we'll agree that this covers any form of restriction to one's physical state that renders a seat closer to the front of the bus or with more room, beneficial).

Person B who is disabled sits in one of the spaces.

Person C who has no more right to the space, gets on the bus and confronts an elderly, disabled person, bluntly stating that person B needs to move.

Person B protests due to her disability (perhaps not realising that person C's paraphernalia prevents her from using an alternative seat or perhaps realising that they both 'need' the same seat but that she was there first).

So person C complains to the driver.

The driver turfs person B out of her seat, toward the back of the bus.

So really the "situation" was caused by both person B and C being on the same bus at the same time, nothing more. If person B OR C hadn't got on the bus, the situation wouldn't have arisen.

Anyone with half a brain knows that the bus driver should have ASKED person B if she could move to make way for person C. If person B falsely refused on the grounds that their disability prevented them from moving to another seat, THEN person B would be being unreasonable.

However it's fairly obvious that for person C to demand (not ask) that person B move and for the bus driver to demand that person B move is not polite, respectful or sensible.

The Doctor's verdict: the bus driver should look for a job requiring less interaction with people.

biscit

Hmm, possibly right, more generalising than specific to the OP situation, but nevertheless relevant to some of the issues that have come up in this thread.

Bridesmaid83

Just sharing a story. It took me three weeks to build up the courage to leave the house alone with my newborn. I had a small bout of PND and when my bus came along, it was too packed for a pram and I had a complete emotional meltdown and walked home in tears. It's hard for a new mum to be out and about with the baby for the first time

Even now that my baby is 16 months old I feel uncomfortable getting on a bus with my buggy as everyone seems to stare. Why is that?

jayne2011

Awww Bridesmaid83 xxx
I had BAD pnd, and even know I can still struggle leaving the house without having a panic attack. I am so glad you feel that you are getting better

I don't have a clue why people stare and watch you, judging you on the bus.... drives me mad! Mostly little old ladies that judge me. I always make a point of talking about the kids daddy to them and flaunting my wedding ring fingers with my engagement, wedding and eternity rings. hehe

eyelinerprincess

PinkLipgloss wrote: »

Agreed Jayne. I have been trying in vain to explain this point. However, it seems several posters are of the opinion that:

- prams should not be on buses at all (all mothers with new borns should only venture out in their immediate vicinity and not travel on buses until their child can walk and the mothers can use fold down type buggies and fold them down with one hand or somehow struggle with baby - *safety concerns anyone?*)

- if someone is using the pram area mums with babies should either wait for the next bus OR fold their buggy down to use (again - safety concerns)


One can't help but wonder why bus companies bothered designing these spaces on a bus at all?

*sigh*

Just to play devil's advocate, what if the child in the buggy is old enough to be taken out and sit in a proper seat? I know someone who takes their 5yo on the bus in a buggy because she "can't control him" (no learning difficulties, she just has no idea how to control her kids).

PinkLipgloss

IMO a 5 year old (without any disabilities) has no business being in a buggy :eek:

My initial reaction is that the mother should fold down the buggy and sit next to him in a regular seat. If he is unable to behave safely on a bus then the parents really need to address that asap.

mumps

Nicki wrote: »

No one is saying that old people or ill people sitting in this space deserve to be abused. I don't think even OP said that the young girl abused the old lady. The issue is whether it is acceptable to ask the elderly to move from that space to give access to the pushchair.

It isn't acceptable to verbally abuse anyone, but a polite request to move into another space does not in my view constitute abuse which has ruined the last weeks of someone's life. I am truly sorry if your MiL experienced anything more extreme than this, but I am also surprised if it was a daily occurence spanning several weeks, as I personally have never seen anything like this happen on a bus, much less regularly.

She was in no state to go out on a daily basis, sorry I don't know what I said to make you think it happened daily. Young women would ask her to move and she would refuse, as I said in an earlier post because of the design of her local buses and a problem with a hip replacement that went wrong she found these seats the easiest to use, I don't know why as I don't live in the same city. This happened over many months as she had the hip problem before the cancer but as she became weaker she found the abuse harder to deal with. She eventually wrote to the bus company and got clarification that as a disabled person she had as much right to these seats as moms with pushchairs. She would try to explain but would then get verbally abused, not a one off from what she told me. This didn't happen on every bus journey but as you can imagine with a woman in her 80s with a dodgy hip and terminal cancer it was something she didn't need. Having said that she could hold her own till the very end.

Just edited to add, you wouldn't have realised how ill my MIL was, she would be well dressed, head held high with her little bit of hair done and lippy on. With her coat on (several sizes too big by the end) and her hat to hide the fact she had lost most of hair her from treatment, she would have fooled most people. That is the danger of judging people on how ill/disabled they are - it doesn't always show. I guess most, if not all, of those young women would be mortified if they knew how ill she was and how they upset her when she ventured out determined to be independent till the end. I know they probably love their grannies and wouldn't want it to happen to them.

I remember asking a driver to let me off a bus that was stopped at traffic lights, he refused as obviously they aren't supposed to do this. He then looked at me and asked if I was OK, I explained I had morning sickness and was trying not to throw up on his bus. He opened the doors just in time as I threw up for England. As I looked back I almost laughed at the look of relief on his face, it wouldn't have been a nice mess to clear up. I reckon he would be rushing young women off his bus for weeks to come if they asked him to open the door.

ladylouise62

From my experience there are a whole lot of people who are not considerate. I see so many people on buses selfishly claiming seats and ignoring those who want or need help. From personal experience I spent a few months almost immobile, but having to work to eat I struggled onto the bus with my cane (the only person getting on so in full view and in very obvious distress ) and I was never offered a seat when it was full, let alone one of the designated 'disabled' ones. Even when I asked in a loud (but polite) voice if someone could offer me a seat, I had to wait quite a while whilst everyone stared at their feet.. and as I waited, the driver would start off and I would be thrown about in pain. Once I even had a woman moan at me for hitting her bag when I was unable to balance in the moving bus with my pain and walking stick.. again, no-one would give up a seat for me.

People selfishly hog a double seat whilst the bus fills and only move their bags etc when someone stands and glares at them for a minute. I rarely see anyone get up to help someone struggle on or off with pushchairs or luggage or mobility scooters, and am fed up being one of the few especially since i have issues myself.

The other day I was annoyed to see a man allow a toddler to take up a seat in a crowded bus whilst others stood ( I always sat on my Mum's lap when the bus filled), but even more annoyed to realise that he also had a pushchair taking up a space that he could have sat in.

Funnily enough, although I have seen some bad queueing in shops recently, I do find that bus queues tend to work properly.... well, we are British, you know


!!!God I feel like a real grumpy old woman !!!

Irn-Bru-Kid

Today I witnessed something that typifies the reason why people have a problem with prams on buses.

Standing at the bus stop with me today was a mother, another lady who appeared to be the grandmother, three kids, two prams/buggys, one with two seats, the other single.

All three kids were out of the prams, the prams were absolutely packed with shopping, Iceland, Argos etc, so big bulky bags. The seat in the prams where the kids should be were also covered with shopping. So they get on the bus, all three kids take seats, mother and grandmother expect everyone else to move and then they packed out the front of the bus making it almost impossible for people to get on and off.

So, two adults, three kids, two overloaded prams. They take up five seats, all available space for buggys/wheelchairs and they have purchased one ticket as granny had a pass.

PinkLipgloss

Ah - that is a whole different kettle of fish.

In that instance the driver should tell said mother to fold down her buggies as CLEARLY the children can safely sit on a regular bus seat.

I do not condone her particular behaviour at all. If I had a pram or a wheel chair I'd be extremely miffed at her using up the bay for shopping. It's meant to ensure children/wheelchair users are safe on the bus - its not a parking area!