I don't like my mother!

happyhaddock_2

Kaye and Zigggy, thank you. It's been truly amazing how many people have been through the same thing, but we're conditioned not to talk about it. I don't understand why people have children when they've no intention of looking after them properly, we always said it would of been cheaper for her to hire two servants than have us!.

POPPYOSCAR

Happyhaddock, I did not like my mother either but even so I did cry at first when she died(don't know why really, could have been the shock I suppose) but I did not cry at the funeral and found it all very easy.

My dad however, I cried when he died and for a longtime after.

So do not be surprised if you do get upset when she dies, and it should not make you feel guilty if you do.(i.e. for having felt that way about her)

happyhaddock_2

Oh thanks poppy, I think if I do get upset it'll be more for what could of been and what we've all missed out on.

Ames

It's funny how they treat people differently. My mum did that with me and my sister. Sad to say, my sister got it even worse than me, even though she was the one who stayed and looked after her when our parents divorced. I still hate myself for that, she was 14 I was 18, but I really didn't know how bad it was for her until very recently when we started talking.

One thing I remember was on mum's birthday. I called and it was engaged, called again later. She told me all about the conversation she'd just had with my sister. From the next day though she was denying my sister had called her, making sister out to be a real b*tch.

We weren't sure though if she was being nasty, or just couldn't remember the call because of her drinking. It was about that time that we stopped speaking to her after 7pm because she was so drunk she was just slurring and starting arguments - then denying it all.

meritaten

happyhaddock - if you cannot deal with a narcissist (and alcoholic) then you MUST cut them out of your life! and feel no guilt (easier said than done).
I am glad to hear your relationship with your sister has been healed.
but think on this hun - as your kids grow older and if you still keep up a relationship with your mother - which of your kids is going to become the 'golden grandchild'? because there will be one. she will then play the game all over again!
stay away hun. if you must, see her on her birthday and christmas.

happyhaddock_2

Omg Ames that is just what she is like. She's so nasty to my sister but nice to me and if you pull her on it she denies all knowledge. Oh and we can't ring after 4.00pm now;)

Meritaten I think if she had had access to my children then she may of tried to make one of them the goldenchild. The funny thing is that 'honour' has gone to my sisters only child, but it's definately a double edged sword.

Thanks x

meritaten

is your sis aware of this? why do you say its a double edged sword?

happyhaddock_2

meritaten wrote: »

is your sis aware of this? why do you say its a double edged sword?

Yes my sister is aware, and I mean that now my niece is an extension of her mum. There are no boundaries, she can say what she wants to her, just like she can to my sister, but she isn't so extreme. She has even started trying to turn her against her mum, saying 'how can she treat me like this' etc and expecting my niece to join in denouncing her mum. So now my niece has started questioning why her mum doesnt want to go round and see 'poor nanny'.

As I said my sister is aware of this and intends to knock it on the head before it escalates.

meritaten

I hope so happy haddock. but if your niece is already calling her 'poor granny' then she has taken hold. your sis needs to be very truthful and very careful here. granny is playing the 'victim' card. thats a hard one to disprove.

grey_lady

I wonder, with people like this - why? was it how their parents were and they never learnt any better? - not that, that's an excuse.