What rights does a unmarried father who is NOT on birth certificate have?AdvicePlease

kelloggs36

Will she make a statement which will strenghthen your case?

Karen1980

This is what I would have needed, But she wouldnt give me a phone number or address as she thought I might give them to him. I dont have any proof what she is saying is true, unless I can get some police records , I have talked to my girls about the situation, ( not slagging HIM or trying to force their words, ) I asked if they would like to see their daddy as he would love to see them, my oldest went into panic and started to cry and my youngest didnt know what I was talking about. ( as current partner has bought her up since she was 5 mths old)

Bestthingsinlifearefree

Not taking over Karen thread but as a dad I would say.

If people could wait until they were in a loving long term relationship and THEN have children. At least the little baby arrives in the world with a mum and a dad in caring relationship.To have children with out this in place seems a bit selfish.

This is the minimum we should all aim for for ourselves and educate our children to aim for.

Yes later ppl may fall out, get divorced but at least the child starts off with a mum and a dad in a caring relationship.

thesaint

If he is on an assault charge, it doesn't make much of a difference.

I know someone who was convicted of killing one of their children and was granted contact to see the other child by a court. This is not a 3rd hand story I heard from a 'Bloke down the pub'. It happens.

Anarchist

Call the daily mail!

hobo28

Anarchist wrote:

Best of luck Karen, I don't think you'll have any problems though. If the guys up on assault charges already then I sincerely doubt they will even allow visiting rights to him.

Yes they will. If it goes to court, what will likely be discussed is how much contact and when/where it occurs rather than if he should or not. Things will spiral out of control very quickly at that point.

Thats why I think she should go to mediation. Its a way she can gauge how serious ex is about contact and what his true intentions are. If indeed his stance is "Well I'm paying maintenance so I might as well see them." then the simplest thing to do may well be to just withdraw the CSA claim. The £5 per week hardly seems worth the aggro.

People can and do change. If ex has changed into a mature person then serious thought should be given to allowing him contact. But you won't know unless you find out. Plus as others have mentioned. Refusing to go will also
count against you in court.

karen1980 wrote:

Thanks for you replys I have had a talk with my partner and family and I have had a few mins with a solicitor ( app on thurs morn) I worry about the children being in his care because I have never seen him act responsible, His X wife ( who he married whilst I was preg with no 2) she has moved out of the county to escape him because him and his current girlfriend asulted her, and she told me before she left they were up on a assult charge and she couldnt live here anymore for her own safety. After being told that How else can I feel about him, Do I want the children near a man who acts like this? Its things like this which scare me.

Good luck with the sol. karen. Just bear in mind that some solicitors are better than others so don't be afraid to shop around or ask for recommendations off friends. It was frankly down to some terrible advice from my ex's solicitor that helped me a great deal. If I were her, I'd have sued.

hobo28

Scarlett1 wrote:

I have obviously touched a nerve, but it makes me mad when fathers recon they do their best by taking a child out for 2 hours once a week and they think that its acceptable, I hope the welfare of karen's childrens is put first before anyone exercising their right to see them just because he might have to start paying for them.

Sometimes thats all a woman will allow and us men are supposed to just accept it. Luckily times are changing. The vast majority of men are decent and try to do their best for the kids.

We all hope that the welfare of karen's children are put first. The problem is that what is best depends on who you are. OP's opinion sounds like its pretty much "No contact is best". I have my doubts on that one but accept I don't have the full picture. The current wisdom from court is that a child's welfare is best served by having BOTH parents involved in the children's lives. In general I would definitely support that. However, in practice it does mean that some people will get contact where they perhaps shouldn't.

Karen1980

OK, My children dont know who he is, so How will I arrange contact, I cant let them go with '' a complete stranger'' in their eyes? I heard someone say Contact centres?? Will this be the process?? What happens at one?

black-saturn

I think the fact that he has shown no interest up to now will go very against him. They usually only advise contact centres if you can prove that he is a danger to the children. Even if he beat you up it still doesn't prove he is a danger to the children I'm afraid. They will probably advise that you meet in a public place with them first like McDonalds and you stay with them while they meet him.

thesaint

Your best bet would be to see if one of your relatives would do it at their house, or one of his relatives that you trust. If you can show the court that you are being reasonable, it will be a lot smoother for you. If he resents this, the court will see him for what he is.

Parents can go from not knowing their children to wanting them to go on foreign holidays within a month of meeting. A court wll see this as unrealstic and rule accordingly.

If all goes well, then your children may have a good relationship with their father, if it doesn't get legal advice, don't just stop contact.

A contact centre can be a very sterile and forced enviroment, so I would use one as a last resort.