What rights does a unmarried father who is NOT on birth certificate have?AdvicePlease

Karen1980

thesaint wrote:

Your best bet would be to see if one of your relatives would do it at their house, or one of his relatives that you trust. If you can show the court that you are being reasonable, it will be a lot smoother for you. If he resents this, the court will see him for what he is.

Parents can go from not knowing their children to wanting them to go on foreign holidays within a month of meeting. A court wll see this as unrealstic and rule accordingly.

If all goes well, then your children may have a good relationship with their father, if it doesn't get legal advice, don't just stop contact.

A contact centre can be a very sterile and forced enviroment, so I would use one as a last resort.

His parents dont live in the uk anymore, and I havent got anyone that would have him round theirs anyway after all the problems in the past. So that isnt a option.

thesaint

I would try and think of a situation that you find acceptable. This is new to you, and if he decides he wants contact it could be months down the line.

If you poo-poo everything you may paint yourself into a corner.

If you have a judge like Scarlett1 then you will have no problems, but judges are starting to lose those kind of backwards views these days.

black-saturn

Karen1980 wrote:

His parents dont live in the uk anymore, and I havent got anyone that would have him round theirs anyway after all the problems in the past. So that isnt a option.

Then what about a teacher or playgroup worker? The same thing happened to my bf. His daughter hadn't seen her mum for years (yes mums do do it too) and suddenly she turned up on the scene. The courts agreed she could see her under the supervision of her teacher.

P.S. are you sure your not talking about my children's "dad"? This is all so familiar.

Karen1980

black-saturn wrote:

Then what about a teacher or playgroup worker? The same thing happened to my bf. His daughter hadn't seen her mum for years (yes mums do do it too) and suddenly she turned up on the scene. The courts agreed she could see her under the supervision of her teacher.

P.S. are you sure your not talking about my children's "dad"? This is all so familiar.

How does that work then with a teacher? the only times he will be able to see then is really the weekends .. Or maybe after school. I'm not sure how that would work?

black-saturn

Karen1980 wrote:

How does that work then with a teacher? the only times he will be able to see then is really the weekends .. Or maybe after school. I'm not sure how that would work?

I know they are few and far between but you need a sympathetic teacher who is willing to give up a couple of hours a week for free. Very hard to find I realise.

nicola1982_2

The other suggestion I can make is if it is just about him paying the CSA then there is a legal agreement (don't know the ins and outs but a friend of mine made it to prevent her flakey ex from messing about in her daughter's life) in which you both agree that he will legally have no rights or responsibilities to your kids almost like giving them up for adoption. Speak to your solicitor about it. It would mean no CSA payments however you may be eligible for benefits that will cover that anyway.

Karen1980

If he does see them then I want it written in writing when where what time what day etc and see if he sticks to it. If he gets to choose what he wants then we will never agree.

Bossyboots

black-saturn wrote:

I think the fact that he has shown no interest up to now will go very against him. They usually only advise contact centres if you can prove that he is a danger to the children. Even if he beat you up it still doesn't prove he is a danger to the children I'm afraid. They will probably advise that you meet in a public place with them first like McDonalds and you stay with them while they meet him.

No, that's not true. Contact centres are constantly used as an arena for long estranged parents to get to know their children in the early days of reintroduction even where no accusations of previous bad behaviour are present.

Karen1980

Bossyboots wrote:

No, that's not true. Contact centres are constantly used as an arena for long estranged parents to get to know their children in the early days of reintroduction even where no accusations of previous bad behaviour are present.

I would feel so much better if we could use one if it comes to that, Do i go in the room with the kids and him.. or is it just him and the kids?

Zara33

Karen sorry no advice for you i dread the day that this will happen to me and my son.

Just really wanted to wish you good luck and keep us posted on how things are going.