What rights does a unmarried father who is NOT on birth certificate have?AdvicePlease

emmaBZ

Unmarried fathers can acquire parental responsibility for their children in several different ways, depending on when their children were born.

For children born before 1 December 2003, unmarried fathers can get parental responsibility by:

* marrying the mother of their child or by obtaining a parental responsibility order from the court
* registering a parental responsibility agreement with the court or by an application to court

For children born after 1 December 2003, the situation is different. Unmarried fathers can get parental responsibility by:

* registering the child's birth jointly with the mother at the time of birth - this is now quite common and many parents choose to do this
* re-registering the birth if you are the natural father
* marrying the mother of their child or by obtaining a parental responsibility order from the court

were you married ? if not then don't worry about it just write back to his solicitor stating that you will not cooperate due to his temper and the stress it would cause your children state that you are protecting your children and will continue to do so ....
also state that you do not wish to be contacted again by your ex or his solicitor.....and say if you are contacted again you will not enter in to any correspondence with them.
or you will be seeking legal advice yourself.....
if he does take it to court then that's up to him but stand your ground , and once you have replied to his letter forget about it , don't worry too much.....
(you can get a free half hour consultation with some solicitors it might be worth doing just to put your mind at rest )

black-saturn

My guess is that if you said no to mediation and it would have to go to court he would change his mind straight away. It's just a bluff so that he feels like he has no control over you. If you show him that YOU are the one thats in control he will soon change his tune. I hate the way that dads can just pick the kids up and drop them again whenever they feel the need. It messes the children up so much. My guess is that if it went to court and he had to pay court costs he will soon change his mind about wanting to see them.

The fact that your younger child sees your new partner as being her father should also make things very difficult for the real father.

welshcakes

hobo28 wrote:

I'm not so sure since he would have to pay £5 per week regardless of if he sees the kids or not. So there seems little to be gained here.

My ex put in for contact with my (even though I know it should be our) two children after abandoning them for 2 years. The reason - the divorce settlement...he argued he needed a bigger share to buy a family house for when the kids stayed overnight.

After I paid him off with settlement, we never heard from him again (not even cards on kids' birthdays). When he reintroduced himself into our lives for money gain, I slapped a CSA application in. He is supposed to pay but avoids and whilst he owes lots of arrears, I know in my heart the kids will never see a penny of it - more chance of them seeing their biological father, pigs flying etc!

Bossyboots

Please listen to Hobo28 who has given you good advice.

The fact is, that unless there are compelling reasons against it, a court will grant contact to your ex, even if it is in a contact centre to start with.

It is not you or your ex the court is interested in, simply the welfare of the children. The protocol is that children have the right to a relationship with both parents unless there is an EXCEPTIONAL reason why they should not. A bad partner does not necessarily make a bad father and just because you now have another partner does not mean your ex should not have a relationship with the children.

That is how the courts will view it, not my personal opinion. The longer you ignore the solicitors the more ammunition you are giving them to put to the court that you are being deliberately obstructive. You are likely to have a long and rocky road ahead now this has all started as once the court is involved there will be an assessment by a court reporting officer and the dredging up of things in the past. He will no doubt try to paint himself whiter than white.

Frankly, you have been offered the easy option of a request by him to send letters to your children. If you force his hand he will make an application to court.

Karen1980

I wasnt married to him.

Bossyboots

welshcakes wrote:

............ and should he ever pay a penny, he is seen as automatically gaining parental responsibility.

This is totally incorrect. See the post by emmaBZ

However, on that issue

were you married ? if not then don't worry about it just write back to his solicitor stating that you will not cooperate due to his temper and the stress it would cause your children state that you are protecting your children and will continue to do so ....
also state that you do not wish to be contacted again by your ex or his solicitor.....and say if you are contacted again you will not enter in to any correspondence with them.
or you will be seeking legal advice yourself.....
if he does take it to court then that's up to him but stand your ground , and once you have replied to his letter forget about it , don't worry too much.....

Please don't follow the advice here. The courts see parents every day claiming to be "protecting" their children. Ignoring the solicitors will simply kick start proceedings. Chances are the ex will be entitled to legal aid so no costs implications to worry about.

You must go and see a solicitor to get your own advice. You may well qualify for legal aid (and I can give you a better idea if you listed your income and rent/mortgage payments). On this thread you have been given some well meaning but inaccurate advice. Go to see someone with whom you can talk everything through and who can reply to the letter for you.

Karen1980

Bossyboots wrote:

This is totally incorrect. See the post by emmaBZ

However, on that issue



Please don't follow the advice here. The courts see parents every day claiming to be "protecting" their children. Ignoring the solicitors will simply kick start proceedings. Chances are the ex will be entitled to legal aid so no costs implications to worry about.

You must go and see a solicitor to get your own advice. You may well qualify for legal aid (and I can give you a better idea if you listed your income and rent/mortgage payments). On this thread you have been given some well meaning but inaccurate advice. Go to see someone with whom you can talk everything through and who can reply to the letter for you.

Ok I got to be brave and see a solisitor, I'm really worried about this.

welshcakes

Karen, there is valid opinion on this thread regarding contact being the child's right and not that of the parent and I absolutely agree that contact should be encouraged where the benefits to the child in question outway the difficulties. However, this is not always the case and obviously from a short opening post, none of us are in a position to know enough to answer that with a straight contact/no contact opinion.

What I would say, is that you know your children and the history of dad's character. Obviously you aren't extensively familiar with his character now. But, if you feel like packing bags and skipping town and a mere letter, I would personally not recommend you attend mediation. I did not attend for the very same reasons and my refusal to do so was never a factor in any contact case that followed.

What does you partner feel about this? He is very valid in this equation.

Bossyboots

Karen1980 wrote:

Ok I got to be brave and see a solisitor, I'm really worried about this.

Seeing a solicitor is really the only way to alleviate your worries. I think you have to accept that your ex is very likely to get some sort of contact. Your solicitor will help you achieve the best scenario for your family.

It may well be that when you sit down with your solicitor, you reveal things that they believe makes mediation and contact unworkable. They can then write the necessary correspondence for you.

Folks on here are lovely and try to help but only someone with whom you can sit down with all the facts is really in a postion to help you.

Bossyboots

welshcakes wrote:

What I would say, is that you know your children and the history of dad's character. Obviously you aren't extensively familiar with his character now. But, if you feel like packing bags and skipping town and a mere letter, I would personally not recommend you attend mediation. I did not attend for the very same reasons and my refusal to do so was never a factor in any contact case that followed.

The worrying thing is that Karen is ignoring the letters. Mediation may well not be the best route for her but ignoring the situation definitely is not. It is this aspect that will look bad, rather than not wanting to attend mediation for valid reasons.