What rights does a unmarried father who is NOT on birth certificate have?AdvicePlease

loftus

Scarlett1 wrote:

if a man cant show he is nothing more than a sperm doner then I dont think he deserves to wear the 'father' tag, although if he does have an attack of the conscience and wants to make up for not being in his childrens life which there is no excuse for then maybe start by writing a letter enclosing a picture of himself and take it from there, the oldest child is getting on for 7 so I cant see her accepting him with open arms even with a bribe of a macdonalds happy meal that most men spout.

Most men????? Can we drop the generalisations. Most men involved in broken families want and pursue an active relationship with their kids.

Scarlett1

loftus wrote:

Most men????? Can we drop the generalisations

no cause most men get to see their children aswell and fight tool and nail for them, where others dont give a !!!!!!, it works both ways.

welshcakes

hobo28 wrote:

she should give it some serious consideration for the children's sake and put their long term needs above her own short term insecurities and worries. Only she and those who know her will be able to know the full picture.

Agreed. Open forums can only seek to offer limited advise, support and experiences so that hopefully Karen can digest everything and use it to expand her deliberations and perhaps use the information to positively and comfortably progress through her current dilemma.

Hope everything goes well with solicitor Karen

loftus

Scarlett1 wrote:

no cause most men get to see their children aswell and fight tool and nail for them, where others dont give a !!!!!!, it works both ways.

Precisely - so therefore most men dont just spout a McDonalds happy meal as a bribe.

Scarlett1

welshcakes wrote:

Hope everything goes well with solicitor Karen

yes I echo that

Scarlett1

loftus wrote:

Precisely - so therefore most men dont just spout a McDonalds happy meal as a bribe.

no its an upgrade now to pizza hut.

loftus

Scarlett1 wrote:

no its an upgrade now to pizza hut.

I'm not going to take over Karens thread with an argument but this attitude does make me mad. There are some crap fathers out there, fathers who don't deserve the kids they have been blessed with. They are the minority. Most fathers - in or out of the relationship - love their children and want to be a part of their lives.

And Karen - the best of luck. I hope, whatever the outcome, that it is the one that is in the best interests of your children.

Scarlett1

loftus wrote:

I'm not going to take over Karens thread with an argument but this attitude does make me mad. There are some crap fathers out there, fathers who don't deserve the kids they have been blessed with. They are the minority. Most fathers - in or out of the relationship - love their children and want to be a part of their lives.

I have obviously touched a nerve, but it makes me mad when fathers recon they do their best by taking a child out for 2 hours once a week and they think that its acceptable, I hope the welfare of karen's childrens is put first before anyone exercising their right to see them just because he might have to start paying for them.

nicola1982_2

If you don't go to mediation and it ends up in court his solicitor will undoubtably use this to support his case and the judge may consider you a time-waster.

Get a solicitor (on legal aid) and explain clearly and maturely why you feel he shouldn't have access to your children. However think about why you wouldn't allow him access - if it is for any other reason than you feel he would be a threat to them (ie because he cheated on you) then you shouldn't (and probably can't) deny him the right to see his children.

I have sat on the other end my OH being 'absent parent' (term which I hate as he had no bloody choice, his ex left and took the child). We happily saw the child every other weekend and put up with his mother being late to pick him up, not turning up and refusing to meet us half way. Then she decided that we shouldn't see him anymore. No birthday, no Christmas. And the child will not get to see his father or grandparents. I would be devistated if as a child my mum had prevented me from seeing my dad.

I don't think your situation is the same - however it isn't fair on a child to ultimately deny him/her access to a parent unless you think s/he will be in danger in his care. So please consider why you won't consider access. If you think it will be dangerous or stressful for the child (seriously so) then get your solicitor to argue why.

Karen1980

Thanks for you replys I have had a talk with my partner and family and I have had a few mins with a solicitor ( app on thurs morn) I worry about the children being in his care because I have never seen him act responsible, His X wife ( who he married whilst I was preg with no 2) she has moved out of the county to escape him because him and his current girlfriend asulted her, and she told me before she left they were up on a assult charge and she couldnt live here anymore for her own safety. After being told that How else can I feel about him, Do I want the children near a man who acts like this? Its things like this which scare me.