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alias*alibi

FBaby wrote: »

Unecessary reply. a*a, I'm glad in the circumstances it wasn't a promise of a baby. Good for him to take on the debt, especially if it was the result of you becoming a single mum for a while athough thinking of it suddenly, due to your marriage, wouldn't such a debt be considered a joint debt anyway?

Not sure; although when I was seeking legal advice my solicitor made it clear that the credit card debts in my sole name were my responsibility only so I am guessing a loan in his sole name would be his too. Still; I am hoping we don't get as far as that again this time.

I'm too old for another child so I would never had agreed to that proposal.

Welshwoofs

alias*alibi wrote: »

To the poster above; another condition of showing me his trust is he has agreed to have the snip. A year too late granted and in reality as we didnt want any more children he should had done it after our child was born. Still hindsight is a wonderful thing but he's going to have it done now.

Those are positive steps a*a and I agree with another poster, you do sound happier today which is a good thing!

By the way, may sound like a totally off the wall idea, but have you thought about taking up something like boxercise or other exercise that can be a bit of an outlet to work out anger? Beating the living carp out of something inanimate gets rid of all that nasty adrenaline.... I learnt that one on a week's retreat once where we were invited to beat up pillows with a baseball bat. I think the air was white with feathers by the time I'd finished

MoreOn wrote: »

So now you are OP or know her thoughts... You are extending yourself well beyond anything you've previously posted... I should congratulate you...

Can you tell us all your secret?

1. Your first sentence bore absolutely no relation to what I typed.
2. Is your 'us' a sign of struggling internal personalities you have or do you simply like trying to position yourself as vox populai?

whitewing

How often do you see your counsellor and how are your sessions structured?

Are there topics that you haven't covered in counselling in depth?

Do you generally feel better after your sessions?

I'm being nosy because my health visitor has suggested counselling for me, and I'm going thro the assessment process still.

Welshwoofs

alias*alibi wrote: »

Not sure; although when I was seeking legal advice my solicitor made it clear that the credit card debts in my sole name were my responsibility only so I am guessing a loan in his sole name would be his too. Still; I am hoping we don't get as far as that again this time.
.

The only thing to worry about would be if it were a secured loan.

Seanymph

Or if it would be taken into account before any CSA payments due to the OP should he leave again?

However it is definitley a positive move whichever way up you look at it. Being left and being responsible for debts would be infinitely worse.

MoreOn

Welshwoofs wrote: »

1. Your first sentence bore absolutely no relation to what I typed.
2. Is your 'us' a sign of struggling internal personalities you have or do you simply like trying to position yourself as vox populai?

1. it didn't?... So you know OPs thoughts and can decide what she feels is relavent...

I'll quote you..

Not surprising to me; you've not offered the Op any practical advice for her situation

How would you know?

2. see 1. it would have been of world interest if you could read OPs thought, US was very relavent..

:rotfl::rotfl:

alias*alibi

whitewing wrote: »

How often do you see your counsellor and how are your sessions structured?

Are there topics that you haven't covered in counselling in depth?

Do you generally feel better after your sessions?

I'm being nosy because my health visitor has suggested counselling for me, and I'm going thro the assessment process still.

Every fortnight through the OHU at work; got 3 more sessions left as funds are tight due to Gvmt cutbacks. Dr has also suggested CBT so I may try that. My counsellor is great; didn't judge me when I vented about the OW and baby; spent a whole session just sobbing. She just sat there waiting until I was ready.

I do feel better after them. It makes me realize that my thoughts and feelings are all normal in the process it takes to come out the other side.

alias*alibi

Welshwoofs wrote: »

The only thing to worry about would be if it were a secured loan.

No, not secured. It was a personal loan.

Yeah I guess it could count towards CSA payments in the future if it happened again but I hope we won't get to that stage again.

Seanymph

I hope so too - I'm just old and cynical and so look for the other side to everything by habit. Best to think about things all ways up I reckon.

whitewing

You know what would be really good therapy now? Planning for christmas...let's face it, it is not going to be any worse than last year! Some of the crafting for christmas threads are looking really good (and fairly cheap). Could be just the job to keep things light, cheerful and productive.