MODS - please delete thread

princessdreamer

MoreOn wrote: »

Absolutely, it could help some recognise there are so many individuals on the forum that mostly point blame for ills at the mans feet, noboday else could be to blame ... Perhaps the blame game comes from bitterness, I couldn't say that is true and i'm sure those individuals would accuse me of not understanding their situation... Well yep all true, yet those same indviduals feel they know people they haven't met and can judge their past and future....

I've never laughed so much in my life....

Mods please keep the thread open for pure comedy value.....

I fail to see the funny side. two women have their lives in tatters, two children are in a war zone. The Op is using her work contacts to attack the OW who has every right to be upset.
although we can only comment on our own life experiences in relation to the given situation, most people are trying to help. As for bitterness depends on your viewpoint as to who is bitter.

Bumpmakesfour

Solidarity for the OW??None here ..
I watched my mum DESTROYED and life as we knew it absolutely ripped apart when my dad had an affair behind her back after 25 years of marriage.I was pregnant,delivered my baby three months early with the stress of dealing with my poor,devastated mums breakdown,losing her home,having to help her financially and my dad walking off with the OW without a care in the world.
I blamed BOTH equally.The OW KNEW my dad was married,KNEW he had a family.When I found out who she was and where she worked I went looking for her in a blind rage.Very lucky for both of us it was her day off because I literally would have strangled the cow.I also stopped talking to my dad,I didn't even tell him when his grand daughter was in NICU..he heard from a family member and turned up at hospital crying..I couldn't even look at him after what he did.Our relationship was great but his dishonesty killed it,it's taken years to even be on proper speaking terms and the relationship now is strained and mainly for the kids.I'll never ever trust him fully and this is my flesh and blood,my dad!He's still with the OW 7 years on but to this day I REFUSE to meet her,she will NEVER meet my kids and get to play grandma,I have nothing but ill feelings towards her and that will never change.So as a result my children have never been to grandads house,never spent the day with grandad out on their own..very sad
The point I'm trying to make is in an affair there are TWO people to blame,but your husband is the one who PROMISED to stand by you,made those wedding vows,placed that ring on your finger not the OW.OP I have nothing but the utmost sympathy for your situation as I said yesterday.I just hate the thought that your husband is back in your home,in the marital bed playing happy families with you whilst ignoring his "other" family and poor ickle him is on anti d's..boo hoo...for a situation entirely of his own making and you and your daughter are being put through all this because of HIS selfishness.It would be beyond awful if in 15 years time your daughter blames you in any way for her not knowing her sister:(Sending you hugs because I'm sure you need some right now xx

alias*alibi

princessdreamer wrote: »

I fail to see the funny side. two women have their lives in tatters, two children are in a war zone. The Op is using her work contacts to attack the OW who has every right to be upset.
although we can only comment on our own life experiences in relation to the given situation, most people are trying to help. As for bitterness depends on your viewpoint as to who is bitter.

?????? Please find my post where I have said that? I think if you had read my posts correctly I said I have no interest in losing my job over the OW so why would I use 'my work contacts'. Please read my posts again. My job is my job. My private life is my private life. I said I worked for social services to say that if the OW did ever do something untoward towards her child I'm sure I would hear of it through official channels first. Not that I do actually think she would; I think her anger was mostly at men who wouldn't dance to her tune. Her ex husband included.

princessdreamer

alias*alibi wrote: »

?????? Please find my post where I have said that? I think if you had read my posts correctly I said I have no interest in losing my job over the OW so why would I use 'my work contacts'. Please read my posts again. My job is my job. My private life is my private life. I said I worked for social services to say that if the OW did ever do something untoward towards her child I'm sure I would hear of it through official channels first. Not that I do actually think she would; I think her anger was mostly at men who wouldn't dance to her tune. Her ex husband included.

Sorry sweetie must have been something someone else said, it is hard to type and read with a toddler helping lol. Just because a woman sleeps with a married man does not mean she is a bad mother. My exs husbands GF moved him in straight away which I think is awful for her child, he is also as far as I'm aware the third man he calls dad. She is also awful to me and my children, however I would not for a minute think she would harm her child. Emotional damage maybe but that is a very grey area.

Mrs.W_2

Just finished reading this thread.

The lack of understanding in here sometimes is awful to read. As are the posts that use misinformation posted by another fantasist to go into further OP bashing.

skypie123_2

OP I hope you are ok.
None of us can judge anyone until we've walked a mile in their shoes, and I mean THEIR shoes, not just some similar shoes (IYSWIM)
I can't imagine how hard this is for you, I did try and cling to my marriage after he had an affair and there were no babies between them, it did worry me constantly that she would announce she was pregnant, so it was my worst nightmare. We split eventually when I found he was still seeing her an I binbagged his stuff and kicked him out. It's actually all worked out great in the end, I am marrying the man of my dreams now and he is marrying her and I now bear them no bad feelings at all. But it took a LONG time to get here!
There are no easy answers. Just take good care of yourself and your kiddies and do the best you can for yourself xxx

Welshwoofs

MoreOn wrote: »

I've never laughed so much in my life....

Mods please keep the thread open for pure comedy value.....

Ahh so basically you're just on the thread for your own kicks. Not surprising to me; you've not offered the Op any practical advice for her situation you've simply sat around spouting pseudo-psychology and picking away at anyone who shares their experiences with the Op or who gives their opinion.

onetomany

op are you sure this is whats your husbond wants? or is he saying this because he feels it will be better for you? u work for ss so you are fully aware that you can have have contact with the baby without having contact with the ow

globetraveller

Good luck with trying to sort your head out and coming to some sort of resolution. You are obviously at rock bottom just now. I admit to not reading every single post so sorry if I'm saying something that has been already talked about- but is it at all possible for you to get away on your own for a couple of days? It might help you to unwind and sort things out in your head.
I agree with sypie about nobody really knowing unless they have been in the same situation. I know that I have reacted differently during bad times to how I would have imagined beforehand.

carefullycautious

Cripes if he knew he did not want more children it would have been easier for him to have a vasectomy than drop himself in this do do.