MODS - please delete thread

FBaby

A thought came to my mind I really hope I am wrong. a*a, you mentioned that your OH made a gesture that showed how sorry he was and how much he loved you, I hope it wasn't promising you you could have another child together if indeed he had also said to you previously that he didn't want anymore children as this would be an utter most manipulative gesture. My apologies if I got carried away with my thoughts, I could just imagine a broken man desperate to regain his wife's love and trust making such a promise.

alias*alibi

FBaby wrote: »

A thought came to my mind I really hope I am wrong. a*a, you mentioned that your OH made a gesture that showed how sorry he was and how much he loved you, I hope it wasn't promising you you could have another child together if indeed he had also said to you previously that he didn't want anymore children as this would be an utter most manipulative gesture. My apologies if I got carried away with my thoughts, I could just imagine a broken man desperate to regain his wife's love and trust making such a promise.

No, it was a financial gesture. I know many won't think that's a big deal but it is. He took out a sizeable loan in his own name and paid off all my debts yesterday. I know I certainly wouldn't had taken out a big loan in my own name to pay off someone elses debts if I didn't love them or want to be with them.

To the poster above; another condition of showing me his trust is he has agreed to have the snip. A year too late granted and in reality as we didnt want any more children he should had done it after our child was born. Still hindsight is a wonderful thing but he's going to have it done now.

MoreOn

Welshwoofs wrote: »

you've not offered the Op any practical advice for her situation you've simply sat around spouting pseudo-psychology and picking away at anyone who shares their experiences with the Op or who gives their opinion.

So now you are OP or know her thoughts... You are extending yourself well beyond anything you've previously posted... I should congratulate you...

Can you tell us all your secret?

MoreOn

princessdreamer wrote: »

I fail to see the funny side. two women have their lives in tatters, two children are in a war zone. The Op is using her work contacts to attack the OW who has every right to be upset.
although we can only comment on our own life experiences in relation to the given situation, most people are trying to help. As for bitterness depends on your viewpoint as to who is bitter.

Oh this is exactly why I posted... the misinformation about the situation and the biases you're showing are a joke...

whitewing

I do think your husband is trying to move forward positively and trying to make you feel secure with him and building trust again.

I would look into sperm storage before opting for the vasectomy, although I guess vasectomies could be reversed sometimes. For me, it wouldn't be the right time to make the decision - much too much up in the air - but I fully understand why you think it is. Are you certain that you wouldn't want another child in the future?

alias*alibi

whitewing wrote: »

I do think your husband is trying to move forward positively and trying to make you feel secure with him and building trust again.

I would look into sperm storage before opting for the vasectomy, although I guess vasectomies could be reversed sometimes. For me, it wouldn't be the right time to make the decision - much too much up in the air - but I fully understand why you think it is. Are you certain that you wouldn't want another child in the future?

Too old now WW; approaching the big 40

chesky369

now he's having the snip at least next time, the OW won't get pregnant.

FBaby

chesky369 wrote: »

now he's having the snip at least next time, the OW won't get pregnant.

Unecessary reply. a*a, I'm glad in the circumstances it wasn't a promise of a baby. Good for him to take on the debt, especially if it was the result of you becoming a single mum for a while athough thinking of it suddenly, due to your marriage, wouldn't such a debt be considered a joint debt anyway?

whitewing

alias*alibi wrote: »

Too old now WW; approaching the big 40

My nan would say you've got a good 5 years to go yet.

Is it my imagination or are you happier today?

alias*alibi

whitewing wrote: »

My nan would say you've got a good 5 years to go yet.

Is it my imagination or are you happier today?

Yes I'm happier and calmer today! I'd had a few drinks last night making the most of a childfree evening and was getting narked with people. But everyone is entitled to their opinions. I'm not a bad person; far from it and try to make everyone happy; maybe that's where I go wrong; always seeking approval. Believe it or not my counsellor thinks I have abandonment issues caused by my childhood which resulted in raising itself in more detail when my husband upped and left. So I guess some of the comments came close to the bone.